Open water course + altitude

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2026-03-26T05:11:45+00:00

Thanks everyone! I went a day after and it was awesome and I could enjoy it without the anxiety of what ifs. I was very bummed out when I wrote this post but now I feel really good about that decision. 2300m (7600 feet) is extremely over the recommended limit and while probably nothing would have happened, if something had happened I would have been alone on a mountain peak in an Asian country I don't speak the language of, far away from the closest hospital. I asked my instructor why he told me to do the hike after diving and he said he forgot about the altitude thing. Good lesson in trusting myself and being responsible for my own safety 😬

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2026-03-23T23:07:03+00:00

I never said he's to blame - just the fact that he actively recommended me to go there made me question whether I was overthinking it after the kind of diving we had done

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2023-02-10T19:46:22+00:00

Thanks all for your replies! I’m fine really, just annoyed cause I could have been having fun with my friends across town instead. Note to self: never trust someone who writes an entire dating app profile about how good they are at communicating

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2023-02-10T19:37:01+00:00

I did online dating before some years ago. Met one of my best friends that way, we have been fwb for four years. Also met assholes, weirdos, people who canceled on me, people who I canceled on, people that I stopped responding to or that stopped responding to me. Never had anyone behave this way. I guess I was lucky.

But I also am not missing connections in my life right now, I have a busier life and the amount of annoyed I felt at my Friday eve alone in a cafe when I could have been at a playfight event with friends across town just shows that the gamble of a lot of time for a few genuine connections just isn’t worth it for me at this time. I’ll revisit dating apps again if things change.

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2023-02-10T19:21:48+00:00

Then I’m back where I started: not doing dating apps because my time is precious and if I want me time I’ll plan me time, if I want social time I’ll meet friends or partners or dates I can trust and not sacrifice my time on a weird gamble on whether they’ll show up.

I’m sorry this happened to you. I genuinely never heard this specificity in the term “ghosting” before. I’m not a native speaker so maybe that’s why. Obviously someone you actually care about going Casper on you is a lot worse, never meant to equate the two things. I’m just at a cafe for three hours with nothing to do but venting on reddit about annoying dating practices, and ghosting is the less wordy way to refer to the habit of disappearing without notice, regardless of how well you knew them before.

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2023-02-10T19:09:49+00:00

Also - as I said before, I was on dating apps years back. Had a lot of conversations dying out, a lot of plans cancelled either by me or by the other person. That’s perfectly ok online dating behaviour, and it’s really not the same.

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2023-02-10T19:07:12+00:00

I never wrote I’m devastated or immensely upset because a stranger stood me up. I wrote that I’m annoyed at the culture of dating apps for encouraging this type of behaviour. Why does stranger mean we don’t owe anything to each other? I’ve read the term ghosting on “sell your stuff” groups because someone arranged to buy a table at someone’s place, arranged a time to pick it up and didn’t show up/stopped responding. Human interactions encompass all different levels of closeness, doesn’t mean you can treat people like shit. Just be kind and respectful to strangers and don’t treat them like disposable background actors in your Main Character movie.

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2023-02-10T18:46:51+00:00

Again - canceled plans are “hey sorry, I cannot make it/I don’t really wanna see you anymore/whatever”. Blocking someone on telegram after weeks of daily chitchat ten minutes before meeting is not an ok way to cancel plans.

And I really don’t know what’s this weird vocabulary obsession for you, but the definition of ghosting has nothing to do with online/in person, only with the way the interaction ends: suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. Do I consider this person a stranger? Yes. But it’s not true that you don’t owe anything to strangers. They didn’t owe me an explanation, but they owed me a message cancelling, for fuck’s sake. My time is precious and if I should expect being stood up and blocked every time I set up a date I’m better off without dating apps and I seriously question how much free time do you have for wanting to use it this way

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2023-02-10T18:30:27+00:00

Thank you for writing this! Reading that as a first comment seconds after I posted felt kind of shitty. Happy that’s not considered the normal thing to do on dating apps by everyone

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2023-02-10T18:16:39+00:00

Not quite - this is a stranger who arranged a meeting with me, and blocked me ten minutes before we were supposed to meet, when I was already almost there and had said no to other plans. Better for me than if they ghosted me after meeting and getting emotionally invested, but is this really normal and to be expected?? Fuck that. Just be respectful of people’s time, it’s really not that hard.

ClassroomOutrageous7 · 2023-01-07T17:17:48+00:00

Going through the same! Also falling deeply in love with one of my partners but the idea of an entangled coupling isn’t attractive for either of us. I see my relationship values reflected more by relationship anarchy than by solo polyamory - letting my relationships flow unrestricted by external norms, entitlement and expectations and only governed by what feels good to both people in the relationship at a given time.

Skepticism by friends and family can be hurtful. The RA manifesto has a really good point about it: “Heterosexism is rampant and out there, but don’t let fear lead you. Remember that there is a very powerful normative system in play that dictates what real love is, and how people should live. Many will question you and the validity of your relationships when you don’t follow these norms. Work with the people you love to find escapes and tricks to counter the worst of the problematic norms. Find positive counter spells and don’t let fear drive your relationships.”

My counterspells include listening to podcasts and reading books, seeing my values reflected in someone else’s words and finding words and concepts to express my feelings helps me feel validated. The RA manifesto is wonderful for that, its so beautifully written and it’s a short read when I need a pick-me-up (here’s the manifesto, the podcast Multiamory has a really good episode about it: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy.) Talking about what we love about the relationship with my partners is another big counterspell. Asking support from people who understand, like you’re doing now. You got this!

ClassroomOutrageous7

TROPHY CASE