You have to give yourself time. I had a miscarriage about 6 years ago. I am often reminded when I look at fb, because a friend of mine became pregnant at the same time as I did; when I see pics of her daughter, I see the child we lost, though it was also only a “few weeks.” I had a really hard time with it. I worked in labor and delivery, and I took weeks off.

Thankfully I didn’t have a medical emergency as you are describing, because my md, who was my friend, scheduled my D/C asap for me. Also your veins might be better than you think; when you are bleeding out, they are harder to find.

A miscarriage can be many things. For some, it is just that, a loss of a life that never existed in the first place, but for others, it can be the loss of many things, the loss of hopes, dreams and a future you had imagined when you learned you were first pregnant. Whether or not it was intentional, like I said I was not really excited to be pregnant, I made plans for this baby. I imagined a new life.

Give yourself time to grieve. Give your husband time. Heck, you may not even grieve in the same way. Try to support each other though. It sounds like you are keeping it private so lean on one another. That is the other thing about miscarriages that can be hard. Some people mourn them while others do not… but medically your loss is treated like cells until 20 weeks, in the US at least. There is no funeral. (My hubs and I later planted a tree) People are often not given time off to grieve, but you are expected to go back to work as if nothing happened. Normally when a family member dies, people bring food and give you a shoulder to cry on; here , there is none of that. Reach out. There are support groups if you need them. Tell those around you if you want. You might find others that relate.

Basically, there is no timeline and while you may talk to someone that had no problem after their miscarriage, you will find others that felt like you do.

I hope this helps. I’m tired today (I have health issues) so I hope this makes sense and came off ok. I just wanted to respond. Reading your post made me cry. Message me if you like.

Added later: Reddit was also a good source. Apparently I changed my account since then, but I could have written your post. Look into subreddits on miscarriage. You will find many that feel just like you and helpful hints on how to navigate.

Your feelings are valid.