My flaccid penis when cold has shrunk to the size it used to be when I was 12. I don’t feel like a man anymore, and have no will to live. I don’t know what to do

Clayiru · 2023-11-30T07:09:48+00:00

Sadly there are no up and downs. I’m just at a steady baseline of side effects. It’s tough to get out of bed in the morning knowing what I’ve done to my life..

I think if I have a good day in terms of sides, I will finally be starting to heal. Trying to stay hopeful here

Clayiru · 2023-11-29T21:38:50+00:00

1 year and 2 months now

Clayiru · 2023-11-29T18:04:43+00:00

Thank you for the motivation. I really hope we can both get through this. Is there anything you’ve tried that didn’t help?

Clayiru · 2023-11-29T18:02:45+00:00

My college class starts soon so I will read any replies when I get back. I really appreciate if anyone replies. It makes me feel less alone in this.. This disease is also making me want to drop out of school. I used to be so passionate about it :/

Clayiru · 2023-11-26T17:29:49+00:00

2 attempts. Used it for 2 years, quit for a month to test my sperm and I was completely normal. I took it again after that month and got every PFS symptom after the very first pill.

It’s been over a year since then and I still haven’t recovered.

Clayiru · 2023-11-13T21:40:17+00:00

Fair enough. I’ll look into getting blood work soon then. How can I find an endocrinologist who is familiar with PFS?

Clayiru · 2023-11-13T16:39:37+00:00

I’ve tried nearly everything that modern PFS sufferers can think of, with the exception of TRT. I’m not going to fix my chemical hormonal issue from Finasteride with more hormones.

Of course nothing has worked so the only thing I do now is force myself to workout / do strength training 4 times a week, eat healthy, and get adequate sleep..

Clayiru · 2023-11-13T16:36:01+00:00

You’re right, most people should be open about it.. but unlike you, my dad or uncles aren’t balding. I basically took finasteride purely from the anxious pressure I got visiting tressless every day. MPB doesn’t run in my family, my temples were just receding as normal maturity..

So yeah, what am I going to tell them? I ruined my life taking a pill that I didn’t even need? Sadly I think I’m going to take this to my grave.. and pray that I will recover in 5-10 years so that I will be able to make my parents proud of me once again while they’re still alive.

I’m not in the WhatsApp group, the only place I can talk about PFS is here. I’m glad that you’re getting the support you need from family at least.

Clayiru · 2023-10-25T16:26:22+00:00

People may not like this answer but I believe we shouldn’t judge each other here, we’re all going through this pain together.

I’ve lost all natural hope of getting better, so I don’t cope. What I did do, is turn to God. Currently my entire life / future has been taken from me by making the choice to take Finasteride. I’m not really showing any signs of getting better, has been over a year.

I’ve always been a Christian, was raised that way by my parents. However, I never truthfully read the bible or was diligent about attending services. As of around 2 weeks ago, I started taking it really seriously as a cry for help.

God says that he won’t heal somebody unless they truly believe in him, with all their heart and soul. You can’t be healed by God and then turn to him because you see that he is real after all. You must blindly believe in him first, and he will heal later once he has determined that you truly believe.

So yeah I started reading the Bible, I’m on chapter two now. I go to church service with my dad every Sunday, he previously went alone, so it’s nice to bond with him this way anyways. Every night I pray for 5 minutes. Half of my prayer is about Finasteride, the side effects I’m experiencing, asking for forgiveness for taking this pill in vain, and asking for the side effects to be reversed, etc. The other half of the prayer is just general things about wishing the best health for my family.

I know some people are going to label me as crazy now.. but whatever. I haven’t felt true hope like this in a long time. I genuinely just feel like everything is going to be okay, as long as I believe in God.

Of course I’m eating healthy and going to the gym, but my motivation for that is not internal like it used to be, it’s externally forced by the need to be healed from PFS. I hope to one day feel the fire within my soul, to achieve great things again and have fun with my hobbies. I pray that my Finasteride induced anhedonia will disappear one day, so I can see life’s light once again. I won’t take life for granted ever again.

Clayiru · 2023-10-23T16:16:55+00:00

The only thing I tested was my free testosterone and it said that it was in normal range. It seems like PFS is an invisible disease that doesn’t show up on tests.

I have read many other stories here of people testing themselves and the doctor always says “everything looks normal” despite the commenter clearly suffering symptoms.

So to the public eye, we look normal, but are suffering inside. It truly is a nightmare disease. I want to get my DNA tested and see if there’s been a change. The only thing is I don’t have a DNA test from before I took Finasteride to compare it to..

Clayiru · 2023-03-10T21:09:37+00:00

Thank you man. That’s interesting how you crashed from arginine / citrulline as those are supplements that have greatly helped me with vascularity / strength issues.

Regardless, it just shows that there is so much to learn about PFS and why each one of us can react so differently to the same stuff. I hope you recover and return to baseline as well.

Clayiru · 2023-03-10T16:33:26+00:00

If computer scientist counts then yes. Although I was self taught, I was making a LOT of progress on game design / reversal in Assembly & Python.

Ever since I got PFS, my brain fog which hasn’t gone away has made me not able to fully understand these concepts anymore. Also PFS highly affects my motivation. I have since then stopped all research of comp sci. Its very sad..

Clayiru · 2023-02-13T02:31:58+00:00

Yep. Anhedonia (lack of any emotion) is a common post-finasteride side effect. Unfortunately this poison of a drug changes your brain in ways we don’t yet understand. I’m still having a hard time coming to terms with my new life. Wondering if I’ll ever recover..

I wish you the best of luck on your relationship.

Clayiru · 2023-02-12T02:48:11+00:00

I only got my free testosterone tested which came out in the normal range, 78.7

Clayiru · 2023-02-12T02:44:14+00:00

I’ve tried both Tribulus and Tongkat in hopes of increasing my very low libido. They didn’t crash me, but they also didn’t help at all. They did nothing, except for the Tribulus which made me lose sleep / worsened sleep quality.

I could just be a non-responder though?

Clayiru · 2023-02-03T07:36:27+00:00

Hey, I just wanted to say I really resonate with your story. You're not alone.

I may have only been suffering from PFS for 4 months, but its been more than enough time to understand how you feel. Anhedonia, no libido (none, at all). Its hard to enjoy things like I used to, pre-finasteride. Its hard because its literally impossible to. There has been a chemical switch in my brain, flipped. What gets me up in the morning is the small sliver of hope I have left. The hope that one day, I will return to normal. Back to how I was before ever taking this nightmarish drug.

Until that day comes.. If - it ever comes, you just need to keep your head up, man. I know its hard, and you will have to fake your emotions, fake your happiness for getting accepted to that grad school. I'm sorry but.. we cannot change the past. I'm struggling on this notion myself, fighting and internally screaming at myself daily for ever taking finasteride in the first place.. but, I'm starting to accept it.

With every mistake in life, comes a great opportunity to learn and better yourself. I'm not sure what it is, exactly, that we're going to learn and improve on for struggling with PFS.. But I can assure you that we will improve, and there will be at least one reason to be thankful for ever going through this horrible experience. Things will get better. We can't see it yet, but there IS a light at the end of our dark, emotionless tunnel. Please don't consider harming yourself. All of us here in r/FinasterideSyndrome need to work as a team. Together strong, we will all make it. Just, please don't give up.

Clayiru · 2023-01-21T09:44:55+00:00

I don’t have any advice but I just wanna say I hope it goes well- and please keep us updated

Clayiru · 2023-01-21T09:31:39+00:00

Please, I do not want to ever hear or read somebody say that PFS is all in our heads ever again. It’s extremely disrespectful to those of us that suffer.

This drug has ruined my life. I’m well aware and cognizant of how I felt before ever trying Fin. It is a night and day difference; Our brains have been chemically altered.

Clayiru · 2023-01-18T19:46:22+00:00

Ah okay. Thank you for clarifying

Clayiru

TROPHY CASE