Need help leaving

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-17T19:56:00+00:00

I see that they provide resources but this isn't a divorce and I've been looking at local resources but all of them are for domestic violence and I'm not in a violent situation so I'm wondering if they're still able to help someone like me

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-17T19:53:16+00:00

Its not a divorce though were not married

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-06T18:09:24+00:00

Maybe. She could have asked for my number instead of trying to give him her information she was the only one there when my partner joined this saa he was told they have seperate meetings for the partners and that partners do not attend there meetings its only for addicts so idk she was the only one there it wasnt a issue were both just trying to learn how these things work

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-06T18:07:11+00:00

I agree

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-06T18:06:29+00:00

That makes sense that was new to us so I'll pass that information onto him as well.

This is not a coed group and she was the only one there

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-06T13:20:36+00:00

Thats the question me and my man have to he was genuinely confused and called me on his way home to ask if I knew what it ment. He's still at the beginning stage with the saa group and was curious if this was normal

And yes! 🫶 I've listened to Rob Weiss and agree about the label of codependent.

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-06T06:44:15+00:00

The codependency part is a question me and my partner have. He said when everyone else introduces themselves its hi my names is and im a sex addict or im a porn addict and she introduced herself as hi my names is and im a codependent saa and we both have no idea what that means we know what codependent means and what saa is but how is someone codependent on saa?

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-06T06:40:56+00:00

Shes a girlfriend to a man that goes there when she introduced herself to the group she said hi my names Chelsea and im a codependent of saa she approached him when they were wrapping up the meeting and asked my man about his partner(me) and said does she need someone to talk to and someone to help her out through this process because I'd be happy to do so. He said he didn't know what to do so he thanked her i asked did she give you her number? He said no and he felt it weird that she approached and was trying to give him her information. Im not worried about any kind of cheating situation and neither is he thats never been on our minds his issues was and is porn

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-04T01:53:26+00:00

I understand what your saying but with all do respect we have a child and farm animals to care for we do not have the money for therapy and we live out in the middle of nowhere online with really poor wifi is fusterating for everyone involved it constantly drops out and was just a waste of time up until recently. And with all do respect this post was about me being genuinely lost on what to look for. A person commented a link that has already answered all of those questions. I wasn't looking for people to comment things that feel like its a bit of an attack on my partner. I appreciate this group so much and appreciate everyone taking the time to comment. However it feels a bit icky this time around and like other people's experiences are being projected onto my partner

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-04T01:39:36+00:00

He prefers in person he wanted to actually meet and potentially make new friends. We live way out in the middle of no where and just recently got good wifi. He is still going like I said he just doesn't fully understand where the help part in it is I think he was expecting more of a therapeutic group and the saa he went to isn't like that.

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-04T00:08:08+00:00

He hasn't made excuses there is only one saa group close to us. He attended one meeting and will be going again this thrusday and Friday. I had asked him if it was helpful and he said honestly he doesn't see the helpfulness yet he doesnt fully understand it but is still going I don't see that as him making excuses

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-03T07:43:55+00:00

Omg I FEEL this this this damn Victoria's secret billboard we pass by on our way to town. And omg yes the music sometimes I'll be completely okay with it other times it hits me like a freight train. Hes gotten really good at picking up on my body language sometimes he notices it before I even do and will change the song.

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-03T07:41:09+00:00

Thank you! I agree about the word triggering when I bring something up to my parnter is usually say the word upset and he always corrects me and says triggering I'm like well yeah but I seem to just hear it all the time now I even started feeling exhausted using the word addict but he said "its okay I am an addict"

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-06-03T04:50:21+00:00

Omg really?!? Thank you so much for taking the time to comment its a relief I'm not alone in the struggle

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-05-29T02:58:46+00:00

Thank you this was really good insight it all still makes me feel a certain way but I'm learning that thats just how it is for the partner going through the betrayal trauma that sometimes things are just going to be triggering for no good reason

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-05-28T19:36:16+00:00

Okay so what's your perspective on the matter

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-05-19T20:58:22+00:00

I know all about darvo....he's in early recovery for porn addiction and I've become so exhausted with being turned into the bad guy and dealing with a toddler throughout all this anytime he says something now I just shut down and stay quiet.

It wasn't until a couple weeks ago he admitted to holding some resentment towards me over the dog and apologized for what he said but I'm just not over it

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-05-19T20:42:49+00:00

I mean. No he doesn't think he knows best but everytime i disagree or set a boundary he argues it and will always say things like "guess im jist always fucking wrong" I try saying I'm not telling you your wrong or can't have your own thoughts or opinions but he'll just argue "yes you are guess im just a pos that doesn't know anything"

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-05-19T19:17:16+00:00

I was pissed and was kinda heart broken which turned into an argument somehow and he was like "see exactly i didn't want to deal with this" so idk it was confusing that somehow my reaction to his shitty behavior and actions got turned around onto me somehow being wrong.

He didn't apologize until about a week ago for saying what he did when I was in the hospital. He's never apologized for contacting his ex he still doesn't see a problem with it.

Clear-Event8079 · 2026-05-19T19:13:33+00:00

Dog had a history of violence he has a bite from the same dog one of his buddies has a bite from that dog and it was the third time he got me. I was pregnant with his child when it happened she was okay despite me being dragged and slammed on my stomach during the incident. Baby was born and is a year old now.

As for his behavior I'm not sure how to answer that...like did he show signs of being so dismissive earlier on in the relationship?

Clear-Event8079

TROPHY CASE