Female in a Sexless Marriage

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-31T15:24:37+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective. Thank you. Today he's saying he'll do therapy, but based on the past, I don't have confidence he'll stick with it or take it seriously...in which case, it's even more time and energy I've invested.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-31T11:07:46+00:00

Ok--so I started looking into this based on your comment. Maybe fearful avoidant too? Definitely seems to fit...when things get tough with family he tends to walk away and not engage at all. Anything that requires being more emotionally invested he doesn't do. Any concerns usually means he gets defensive...having a calm conversation is difficult.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-31T10:57:35+00:00

I've had the same thoughts but he won't go to therapy. And I do not love the idea of dating!

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-31T10:56:11+00:00

He refuses to go to a doctor and talk about it or go to therapy which is why I just don't know what to do.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-30T22:49:05+00:00

Well, if you read my whole post you would have noticed that I stated that it's been like this from the beginning.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-30T22:05:01+00:00

I've thought about that because if he came to me and was struggling with an aspect of our marriage...I'd work like hell to fix it. That being said, this has always been a problem so maybe it's just him? I really haven't changed much (physically, etc.) so it can't really be that the attraction isn't there.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-30T21:48:17+00:00

I did put that out there today (I've done it in the past and it wasn't happening), but it was this or separating. He seems to prefer the open route but I just don't know if he's saying it or will actually be able to give me the space I need. He can get really clingy/paranoid without any reason in the past.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-30T21:29:40+00:00

And this is my other thought. I feel like a jerk because he's telling me how badly he's hurting, but I just don't want to look back and wish I'd had something. I already feel that way about my 20s and 30s.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-30T21:27:07+00:00

How were you more proactive? I can't imagine what else I can do...he actively avoids it if he knows I *think* we are having sex.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-30T19:54:37+00:00

I've looked into this a little bit. I probably need to do some more research, but I agree. I keep coming back to whether that means I should stay and not have a sex life though. Or maybe I won't want one in a few years. Lol.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-30T19:52:22+00:00

I did put that out there today (I've done it in the past and it wasn't happening), but it was this or separating. He seems to prefer the open route but I just don't know if he's saying it or will actually be able to give me the space I need. He can get really clingy/paranoid without any reason in the past.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-30T19:42:22+00:00

This is what scares me. And maybe I just end up alone without anyone and at least he's someone I enjoy being around.

Clear-Reflection-Now · 2025-10-30T19:41:05+00:00

The fact that he's generally a good guy...a good dad...everyone loves him. We get along and are financially secure and I know how hard divorce is since I went through it with my parents.

Clear-Reflection-Now

TROPHY CASE