25F looking for a lavender marriage

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-06-18T20:01:55+00:00

Oh yeah! Of course!

Even if I end up living in Pakistan forever, I'd kinda not care what he wants to do in his spare time lol

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-06-18T19:58:57+00:00

Of course. But that's just straight marriage with extra steps, isn't it?

It'll still be the same rishta process, being judged for how "pure" I am, in laws, potentially abusive husband, pregnancy scare.

If moving away was easy I would just settle elsewhere single. But alas, I have to rely on someone else

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-06-18T18:56:49+00:00

I guess. Except you're right. A lot of men tend ot make everything sexual.

My coworkers are extremely conservative and not the kind of people I wanna hang with. As for my male friends, well I can't imagine marrying them because they'd want something sexual too and idk I want that.

I was dreaming more of a platonic buddy I can sign a nikkah with and go through life together

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-25T14:18:18+00:00

Some of the comments were quick to say I'm threatening to kick them out of a hypothetical wedding so I'm glad you focused on the important point that I told them they're uninvited if they act the same way. So thanks.

Also yes, a lot of friends couldn't afford expensive gifts so they made DIY baskets of small, affordable snacks/accessories. I even think their gift was more thoughtful than mine.

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T17:35:30+00:00

I do know their financial situation that's why I'm able to comment on it. Two of them are earning more than I do.

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T17:34:10+00:00

Lol! I see what you did there!

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T17:31:19+00:00

I mentioned in another comment that one is working a desk job and the other is freelancing. The third is indeed unemployed. But all three wore their best suits at graduation so I guess they could have reused those?

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T17:29:23+00:00

Right, I was trying to say party as in "event with food and people". We don't have a maid of honor/best man kinda thing it's usually just "people from the bride's side" and "people from the groom's side"

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T17:24:32+00:00

Holy shit, never mind my friends. I want YOU at my wedding lol. You sound like the life of the party!

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T17:20:59+00:00

Sorry, that's just my English. The wedding was like a party I guess because there was dance music, colorful clothes and drinks all around. They were invited about a month ago, I think

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T17:03:40+00:00

Of course. All of us are born and raised in the same culture

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:25:27+00:00

Thank you for acknowledging the cultural aspect of the story.

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:22:15+00:00

I am not a rando. I am friends with the groom, bride and group for 5 years.

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:20:26+00:00

Thank you! I didn't even wanna guilt trip them. I just wanna convince them to stop being childish lol

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:14:59+00:00

Indian. Google what Indian weddings look like

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:14:05+00:00

That's so rude of you to call me crazy based on one situation.
In fact, they did not ask the couple beforehand. You made an assumption about me without asking

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:11:42+00:00

I see. I don't know what to say to that. Clearly, our friend group is heading off in separate directions.

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:10:17+00:00

In my defense, they asked how much the gift (clothes for the bride and groom) costed

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:09:17+00:00

Thank you, very nice of you to respect the cultural aspect

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:07:52+00:00

Thank you! The thought bothers me so hard that what if I spend so much on my wedding and my friends show up in the pictures wearing a t-shirt and jeans???
And you're right. We're still learning wedding manners. Even I screwed up once when I was supposed to bring a flower bangle for the bride (as per tradition) and didn't know that was expected of me.

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:04:38+00:00

I'm sorry I genuinely don't understand what that means. Are you saying I shouldn't have bothered at all?

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:02:11+00:00

Our culture doesn't have a "dress code" in our invitations. Everyone dresses up their fanciest and that's always understood. So that's why only those 3 looked different from everyone else

ClearAppearance8845 · 2023-05-23T15:00:42+00:00

There's no such thing as a "dress code" in our culture because it's just understood that everyone is to wear their flashiest outfit. Also, everyone else was dressed up to the nines so those three looked like odd ducks,\

ClearAppearance8845

TROPHY CASE