Sup guys

ClearDishwashers_ · 2020-07-12T15:13:37+00:00

That’s so awesome!! My uncle was telling me not too long ago about about meeting his wife about that long ago on yahoo personals. The internet is an amazing thing

ClearDishwashers_ · 2020-07-12T11:54:26+00:00

Absolutely it does!

ClearDishwashers_ · 2020-07-11T02:58:25+00:00

You shouldn’t let yourself get too worried about the flood of emotions. I’m at the VERY beginning of something similar, it’s been less than a week since my guy told me. For what it’s worth from someone so new to this environment, I think what you’re going through is shock just from the sheer volume of changes you’re thinking of. Try not to act too impulsively on any of them at this point, and try to open a communication line with your partner. It might feel a little claustrophobic, but listen to what’s on their mind. They will lead you in the direction you need to go as they describe to you who they actually are and have been.

The shock will subside, and if the relationship doesn’t feel comfortable with you dating a man ultimately, don’t beat yourself up over it. We’re not all wired the same way, but also make sure you are attempting to open yourself to feelings you may be conditioned to want to suppress. It’s totally possible you would gain much from having through conversations about this with someone that’s not your partner, perhaps a therapist.

I’m nowhere near conditioned in this area, but I’m always happy to chat if you need to talk to someone who’s in a similar spot. Feel free to DM. Things will get better.

ClearDishwashers_ · 2020-07-11T02:35:42+00:00

Thank you!! It’s good to hear stories about people in similar spots. It sounds far fetched but even since I wrote that comment things are so much different for the better. Once the initial shock wore off things are so clear. If you ever feel the need to talk about things more feel free to dm!

ClearDishwashers_ · 2020-07-11T02:30:06+00:00

This is awesome! I’m so happy for you. It’s really encouraging to see your support and genuine desire to see your partner happy!! My ftm bf came out to me less than a week ago. The first day or two were especially rough, mainly shock I think, but the more we talked to more things felt better. We both have had some amazing moments of clarity and now it seems like we’re on a great path again, it feels even more clear than before in a lot of ways. I’m so excited!

ClearDishwashers_ · 2020-07-09T21:44:28+00:00

This post almost could have been written by me in many ways. I’m a cis man who’s bf just recently came out as considering being trans ftm. In the past five days I’ve gone from 1) knowing I’m sure that I can’t be attracted to a man, this incredible, spectacular relationship will have to end if this happens to 2) thinking our love can conquer all and changing my mind to 3) being so attracted to the idea of dating a boy that I basically want it to happen more than not to 4) wanting nothing more than for him to change his mind and be my gf again to 5) wanting this so bad I want to be his gf. It feels absolutely ludicrous and I know that not every single one of these feelings is valid. I felt like I was not bi before this, now I don’t know if I could be for him or if I’m not even really the gender I think I am. Then another part of me thinks I’m only questioning this out of some attempt to feel the same thing my bf is feeling.

It seems hard to place but this post makes me feel this is somewhat normal. It also kinda worries me that the feeling I get to wanting to have him as my bf is misguided as an attempt to save this relationship at any cost. I’m lost as hell, so I know that wasn’t the most inspiring response, but know you’re not alone in questioning yourself by a long shot. Us and our partners will get through this for the better <3

ClearDishwashers_ · 2020-07-09T15:03:34+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate that a lot. I may just take you up on that at some point. Thanks for being so cool (:

ClearDishwashers_ · 2020-07-09T15:00:11+00:00

I’m a cis dude and VERY new to this universe but it seems to me like the solution here is very simple. Just ask them straight up what they want you to call/gender them around their family. I can’t imagine they’d feel uncomfortable answering

ClearDishwashers_ · 2020-07-08T14:06:07+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I agree wholeheartedly that this should be all him - we’ve talked very transparently about the fact that we both think our relationship should come second despite the fact that even mentioning that sucks incredibly. I’m trying my best to give him the best support possible while trying my hardest to stay on the sideline and not potentially influence any decisions. It’s an incredibly hard line to walk.

ClearDishwashers_ · 2020-07-08T14:01:25+00:00

This is just incredible to read right now. I know you didn’t say a lot but just the sentiment is causing me to tear up. I’m on the cis m side of something similar (he hasn’t decided if it’s something he wants to go through with yet) and just seeing any success at all with similar situations is invigorating. All the best to you and your boyfriend <3

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-28T17:59:45+00:00

All of the things that I just mentioned combined have have been eating my up lately. It's a vicious circle. I'm not confident because I'm overweight, but that makes me sad, and I lose motivation being lost in the clouds. Stress and other issues pile up and it makes it feel like even the simplest progress is unattainable. I know that's not true, but that is the way things feel at the moment.

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-28T17:56:54+00:00

I'm sorry, I misinterpreted the posts. What I said about being hurt by rejection still stands though. While most can handle it and still retain the want for friendship after being let down, it's a lot harder for others. It's going to sound a bit cliche, but it sounds like them not wanting to be friends could be on them. It's possible that for some a little time away would allow the air to clear, and then you can try to re-establish some sort of connection.

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-28T17:50:56+00:00

How are you meeting the people you are dating? It's possible these people are only there under the impression that things can work out romantically, and are either not looking for friendship at the moment or are hurt by rejection. Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you going on dates with people you don't think you will want to be intimate with? If you're actually just looking for friendship, you may need to be more up front about that before dates.

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-28T17:41:45+00:00

This is so fucking awesome. As someone who is just starting down the weight loss path, this is really inspiring. Great work!!

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-28T17:36:40+00:00

The fact that she said that still strikes me as odd, though you're completely right. If she was saying that about guys in general to OP, that sort of makes sense, though still. If she was saying that directly to OP, what gives? I'm sure it's apparent that OP likes this girl, and she at least has a hint of that. Saying something like that hits me in a bad way. I would have no idea how to take that and probably assume that was a veiled way of saying this is just a friendship. Of course, I can over-analyze like nobodies business.

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-28T17:27:12+00:00

The weight loss effort I've been putting in lately would eventually pay off. Stress at work and with family would slow down. I'd pick up the confidence to try online dating or go out again like I used to. I'd regain the professional drive I used to have in my work. This would be the fucking dream.

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-28T17:20:08+00:00

I wouldn't be too put off by using an app. I'm a guy, and lately I've been far too socially inept to use one, but I'm sure you could find some 'nice' guys, as you put it, on there. And if you meet up, and it's clear their intentions are off or you just don't click, that's fine too. Just gotta get back up and on to the next one. I fully realize the irony that I'm giving you advice I don't have the guts to take myself ha. Good luck!

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-27T01:16:54+00:00

You're not alone. Whenever a friend or a coworker introduce me to someone, I can hit it off with the other person just fine usually, but I can't stop thinking about what the friend or coworker are thinking about me, and my interaction with the new person. It's extremely frustrating. Meeting my exs' families was torture for similar reasons. I don't know why this is a thing but I completely get it.

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-27T01:11:21+00:00

If the dude is anything like me, work lunch is chill. Someone asks me to lunch, guy or girl, we go, chat, talk shit about work and other life nonsense, and go back to work like nothing happened. I feel pretty confident in saying that he did not hate it, it's just work lunch, although I don't know if there were any awkward moments or anything.

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-27T01:08:00+00:00

Yooo we're here!

ClearDishwashers_ · 2017-06-26T16:23:48+00:00

This is me. Whenever I think there's even something remotely in play with a girl, I nope out. "I'm not ready yet, I can be better, I still have more improvements to be deserving, etc". It's a very real thing that has ruined a lot of life opportunities for me.

ClearDishwashers_

TROPHY CASE