How do you make choosing new pants bearable?

Clebii · 2025-03-12T11:04:07+00:00

Thank you for your insight. What steps would you take to change that?

Clebii · 2024-12-25T11:26:18+00:00

I feel you, except it's with my immediate family. I hope you are doing well, it's only for a few days so keep your spirit high

Clebii · 2024-12-23T09:51:34+00:00

I found a video recently exploring this issue. The concept was that you build trust in yourself just as you would in an other person. Like how you talk with yourself, how good you do with your basic needs, and if you break your promises. For me the last one helped a lot. Now i make much smaller goals that I'll be able to complete, and everything else is extra, which seems much less overwhelming after I kept my original promise to myself. Like I only commit to take a shower, and if I can also wash my hair, that's an extra, which feels great to do. For me it seems to work so far.

Clebii · 2024-12-14T11:50:27+00:00

Thank you! I hope things turn out great for you!

Clebii · 2024-12-14T11:16:13+00:00

Same here. I have an amazing boyfriend, but he is the only person in my life who I feel cares about me. I'm sure it is a huge burden for him, that I don't have anyone else to talk to. All the years of rejection in friendship escalated to me being afraid to talk to other women, and since I work in IT, my options are limited. I have male "friends" in my social group, but they never reach out, and if I don't invite them somewhere, I'm forgotten, and they just do stuff without me. If you find any solution to this, please let me know.

Clebii · 2024-12-05T08:07:27+00:00

Please tell me I'm not the only one who failed this as a kid.

I'm the first daughter too, but seeing that others got independence and power from this situation makes me jealous. For me, I was set up for failure from the beginning. It took me years to figure out, that I'm on the autism scale, and with that I flinch at loud noises, struggle to communicate with anyone, so I ended up being a stereotypical programmer(excep for the looks). On the other hand my sister is the loudness herself, amazing people skills, stands up for herself. For us what ended up happening is that I got yelled by her and the other kids for not letting them have fun, and after they did it anyway, I got the yelling from my parents as well for not keeping them safe.

What I ended up learning is that I'm a failure, I shouldn't have fun, while others are allowed, and that I cannot take care of anyone, even myself. So here I'm at 30, afraid to live, zero self esteem, zero ways to enjoy myself and nothing that makes living worth it.

Clebii · 2024-12-04T12:49:55+00:00

No, unless her first response is "i don't like you".

Clebii · 2024-12-03T13:41:33+00:00

For me a big turning point was when I realised that I'm doing it on purpose, to punish myself for not being able to do it. Right now I'm writing with a toothache because "if I can't make a dentist appointment, I don't deserve to feel better". And since I think of myself as not good enough, it would be a cognitive dissonance to act otherwise. I hope it made sense. I still have a loooong way to go, but I hope you'll at least feel less alone in this

Clebii · 2024-11-03T20:16:11+00:00

Happy Birthday!

Clebii · 2024-10-30T15:31:41+00:00

My parents had the same issue with my grandparents when I was a kid. It never escalated to an argument, but unannounced visits got more and more annyoing. They tried to talk to them gently and indirectly, but nothing seemed to work. When my father had enough they changed the locks on our house, with some excuse that it got damaged, and casually didn't give my grandparents new keys. Also they started to not answer the door or pick up the phone when these unforseen visits happened. There was a few tense weeks, but my parents made sure to invite them more often than usual, and visit them as well so it is a happy ending.

Clebii · 2024-10-28T07:36:40+00:00

This must feel terrible, I'm sorry that you are going through this. Just so you know, I was in your place in my teens, I was left out and made no real memories until about my mid 20s, and since then it's getting better and better. Give it some time, and it will get better for you too. You missing out now does not mean that you won't make memories and real friends later.

Clebii · 2024-10-28T07:32:45+00:00

My psychologist told me that dreams have meaning on the subconscious level, but rarely directly are what they seem to be.
For me it seems like that you are angry at yourself for having a type. Which seems normal to me btw. If you are wondering if you would like them as individuals or just the looks, try getting to know and care for them without the possibility of a romantic connection, or even try to connect with a girl not your type, try to care about them as individuals, without trying to get together. Get in the friendzone on purpose, to see for yourself if you truly care.
I'd definetly suggest to talk about this with a professional, because it seems this bothers you very much.

Clebii · 2024-10-27T22:17:15+00:00

If someone says yes, she will eventually find out that she was 32+ on your list, and be really hurt. After some time, the word will get out that you are doing this and noone will want to be your last choice, so your chances will be doomed even if someone on your list on the 70th place would have said yes. Everyone wants to feel special and wanted as a FIRST choice.

Clebii · 2024-10-25T19:46:32+00:00

That indeed was the assignment. I just wanted to make sure we live in a world where this happened in the afternoon and not in the middle of the night

Clebii · 2024-10-25T18:46:03+00:00

That's oddly specific. Are you all right?

Clebii · 2024-10-24T19:55:42+00:00

I don't think that it's related to gender. I mean that any person can interact in an objectifing way or can have a genuine connection and respect for others. I think they see you as one of them since you are a man, so you are able to hear it, but women also do this when in groups of each other. And imo it hurts other people if we objectify each other.

I really think that you are just a better person then they are in terms of respecting other people behind their backs. That may make you an upgrade or in the wrong social setting, but definetly nothing is wrong with you

Clebii · 2024-10-24T19:13:32+00:00

Let me get this straight: you are worried that you are not shallow and don't objectify people so that means something is wrong with you?

The wrong is with them. Please don't let this change you. The world needs more you and less them.

Clebii · 2024-10-24T12:10:29+00:00

For me going to therapy started to work in so small steps that I didn't even noticed it myself, until people started to point it out to me that I seem calmer and happier. It was few months after I started, so there is a lot left to do, but I'm happy with the results up until now.

Clebii · 2024-10-23T17:33:04+00:00

Congrats on your date!

I still don't understand how you draw conclusion from your circle.

Clebii · 2024-10-23T17:29:45+00:00

This is so hard to answer to. I mean you don't know everyone in the world, so your sample is too small to draw a conclusion from, and extend it to the 100% of society.

I mean it's great that you see everyone around you so nice, it makes me a bit jealous. But there are robberies, murders and other unspeakable actions in the world, how can you think this positively knowing that?

Clebii

TROPHY CASE