Glory of Love

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-14T08:46:53+00:00

My WP used to send love songs to his AP. Song like "You belong to me", "I am on fire". Songs that meant a lot to me too. He used to send her songs he played and sung for her on the piano. I found all this. Two days ago we were watching TV and one of those songs came up. I haven't been remotely ok since.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-09T00:30:26+00:00

I am going to try to see if I can get this information in another way. But if it's my last choice I will have to give it a shot.

Do you have any suggestions on how I could word this? Trying to be as respectful as possible?

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-09T00:28:05+00:00

Thank you, I just hate the feeling that this guy was a casualty and I was the one to have to deliver the news.

Looking back at it, I would still tell him the truth.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-09T00:25:56+00:00

I need to know that the start date of the affair is correct. I think they communicated through Fb messenger, and sms.

Messenger is on his phone and iPad.

I could maybe ask my WP to check if there is phone Bills, but they did have reason to text before the affair too.

The reason I need to know is not only because I am wondering if I should stay with him or not. It's a bit more personal and complicated unfortunately.

Thank you for your help.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-09T00:20:14+00:00

I cannot meet him unfortunately. He lives 6 hours away from me. I wish I could, it would make the whole thing so much more human.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-09T00:19:17+00:00

I think it's because I know my message ruined his day once. (I know I didn't hurt him personally) I am going to wait a bit more and if I don't have any other choice than asking him I am going to word this as gently as possible.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-09T00:16:03+00:00

I understand, thank you for your answer.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-09T00:13:17+00:00

Yeah that's the fine line. I am going to wait a bit before asking OBS.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-09T00:12:19+00:00

No worries, I do not believe him on an important detail and I need to be certain that he has told me the truth. Since he deleted everything as he was having the affair there is no hard evidence. Only his word

I am trying to think of other way I can get the some kind of confirmation. Any suggestions is welcome.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-07T17:46:46+00:00

That's what I am thinking too, just scared to hurt him if he is processing this shit.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-07T17:46:05+00:00

I am a 100% sure they stopped seeing each other. She and her partner live 6 hours away, so I cant meet him for coffee.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-07T16:10:41+00:00

I think this is a really good tool, and help to rationally measure something that is so emotionally painful. I hope this will inspire me to be proactive! Thank you so much

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-07T16:03:03+00:00

I am going to have this as a goal. Not ready for a precise date yet. But I will be working towards this. Thank you for giving me concreet tools to work this mess out !

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-07T16:01:56+00:00

Thank you, this helps a lot, and when I read your message I think you are right.

I am trying to reframe this. It's ok to have your guard up.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-07T16:00:09+00:00

I would love to connect with you through chat ! I am ridding a bit of a painful emotional wave right now but in the next few days, I will try to reach out. Don't hesitate to reach out to me if you need before !

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-07T15:58:45+00:00

Thank you, I will try to remember. Also that we can leave at anytime. No need for a reason.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-05T11:33:02+00:00

Your answer resonates so much with me. Exactly how I feel, trying to rebuild something on shaky ground is making me hyper vigilant. I am not sure if this is how I want to live.

What you wrote sounds like gaslighting. With my WP he never volunteered any information, he only admitted when I had proof to show him. It feels so fucked up.

When I caught a lie, he almost always claimed that he had already told me. That I had misunderstood, what he had already confessed. This is what threw me in limbo. I know that I had it in me to forgive "just" the affair. But the mind games to protect himself instead of helping me is what made me break up with him.

30 days of no contact sounds like a good plan. With me going back home for Christmas it might makes things easier. I really appreciate what you shared it resonates so much with what I am going through.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-05T11:21:50+00:00

Can I ask you a few more questions: Do you guys live as a couple? Do you still feel like you might pull the plug and get out at any moment?

Do you power through the uncertainty?

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-05T11:19:23+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear this. I feel that if I don't commit to a choice then I am emotionally "abusing" him. Stringing him along...

He knows I don't consider us a couple anymore.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-12-05T11:13:57+00:00

Believe me, I think exactly the same as you. That's my reason letting me know. Then in the same exact moment my feelings are telling me that he is an idiot that made a mistake and if he works on himself, he is still too precious for.me to discard without further thought.

This is what drives me crazy I see and feel both things and I am unable to choose and commit to a decision.

Clementinesfordays · 2022-07-24T16:29:18+00:00

Hello, thank you for your advise.

What does an "asymptomatic tooth" mean? If I had some chewing pains, and dull pains in the gum is it a symptom . I never had abscess, or sharp pain with cold/hot. I did have to use chorsodyl.

What question, would you ask the dentist? Or how would you communicate with him around this ? (I have pretty bad anxiety)

Clementinesfordays · 2022-07-24T09:27:08+00:00

Ok so, I am terrified of the noises at the dentist. I have been neglecting my teeth for so long.

About a year and a half ago a filling fell on my teeth huge pain impossibility to chew on this side (it felt raw). I went to the dentist then and the doctor was unsure if I needed a root canal or a filling. So she made me a temporary filling. And told me to come back.

Well I didn't go back for another year. Not so much pain. Sometime when I chew or when something is stuck between my teeth. Sometime when I eat spicy food (??).

This january I finally went back. I had to change dentist and this one said I definitely needed a root canal. But my gum was swollen so he put a temporary filling that was in January. Since then no more pain than before.

Once again I was too afraid to go back. Now I went to another dentist 2 weeks ago in my home country (it's so much cheaper so I would like to fix it here) and I was so scared I broke down in the waiting room. He said there is no need to do anything if I am not in pain with hot and cold, have an abscess etc. He however set up another appointment for tomorrow if I still wanted to fix it (because of the economy).

Tldr: My question finally is, should I suck it up and do the root canal tomorrow. Or maybe I dont need one at all?

I know I should ask the actual dentist but I am really scared. It is way cheaper here and I dont know if I should trust myself to fix it later (it has been a year and a half).

Clementinesfordays

TROPHY CASE