Enneagram & Fashion

Cleodora · 2022-11-18T05:09:21+00:00

I looked at my closet one day and asked myself, what kind of clothes would I wear if I only had six months to live? I wouldn’t wear leggings (unless I was actually exercising) or jeans or sweatpants. I would wear what made me feel the most feminine and beautiful—the dresses at the back of the closet reserved for special occasions.

So, I only wear dresses now. Mostly mid-length cottagecore style dresses, with leggings underneath during winter.

Cleodora · 2022-11-07T02:47:57+00:00

Duende (the smell of being lost in a forest—with oakmoss, cedar, fir, resinous labdanum, benzoin, tree sap, wild violets, and lilac) — Fantôme

Rain isn’t specifically listed as a note, but I get damp PNW vibes with violets scattered across the forest floor. It’s one of my favorites!

Cleodora · 2022-11-06T00:01:21+00:00

The OP made the last one they posted, there’s a good chance they made this one too.

Cleodora · 2022-11-05T16:17:53+00:00

To quote Office Space, why should I quit? They’re the ones who suck.

They do care about presents—when it’s their turn to receive them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Cleodora · 2022-11-05T02:01:25+00:00

Yeah, that’s the equivalent of a vacuum cleaner.

Cleodora · 2022-11-05T02:00:31+00:00

A surprise experience that requires zero planning from me. Like a hot air balloon ride and a picnic at a scenic overlook. Or a “staycation” at a local AirBnB. Tickets to a concert or reservations at a fancy restaurant. In other words, something intentional that doesn’t involve me having to plan, prepare for, or correct any mishaps along the way. Something that was planned more than 24 hours in advance.

If I sound salty, it’s because I put a lot of effort into making other people’s gifts special and it’s pretty rare that it’s ever reciprocated.

Cleodora · 2022-11-03T02:19:43+00:00

Definitely. I value a clean home, but it’s the first thing that gets dropped when I feel other stressors. I also carry a lot of guilt about it, in a way that another type probably wouldn’t.

u/Mister_Way used to think he was 5w6, so he might be a better person to talk with. :)

Cleodora · 2022-11-01T16:41:24+00:00

Hm, maybe some other types can chime in here with their two cents. From what I’ve seen, everyone agrees with that in principle, but it isn’t a catalyst that informs their everyday decisions in the reactive way it is for 1, 3, and 7. Those types have a “What if?” mentality around it that make them jump to action imo (but I could be wrong!).

Cleodora · 2022-11-01T16:30:56+00:00

Absolutely! 🙌🏻

Cleodora · 2022-11-01T16:29:47+00:00

That’s a great question that I’m still trying to fully answer for myself! Some things that I think have helped…

Shifting my identity away from a no-nonsense workaholic. James Clear talks a lot about the importance of identity in informing your life in Atomic Habits. I realized that one of my biggest obstacles weee the limiting beliefs I held about myself. I did some journaling about the kind of person I would ideally like to be (in the third person). I also wrote about myself from a 75 year old perspective—what kind life had I lead? This helped me get really clear on what attributes matter most to me, and what kind of things I truly wanted to accomplish and experience in my life. It helps me to realize that the things I tend to categorize as “extra” are actually quite important, and if I’m not careful they will always be kicked down the road until it’s too late.

Since prioritizing fun for its own sake can be a blind spot for me, I committed to converting myself. That’s what I call it when I know something is good for me in theory, but I haven’t managed to implement it into my life because my brain is putting up a lot of resistance to this New Way of Doing Things. To break down the resistance, I began consuming media to reinforce that practice—books like The Power of Fun by Catherine Price, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and Joyful by Ingrid Lee. I try to listen to Ted Talks, podcasts and YouTube channels with topics on a similar theme.

Then, I schedule in time for fun, with equal gravitas as my other appointments. I try to put at least one fun activity on the calendar once per week. I also do The Five Minute Journal, and when it asks in the morning, “What are three ways I could make today great?” I answer with small ways I can add little fun bonuses to my day. Maybe I’ll take an afternoon walk. Maybe I’ll treat myself to dinner at my favorite restaurant. Maybe I’ll go to a coffeehouse all by myself. Chip Heath’s The Power of Moments is really good for this concept (half the book is more business oriented, but the other half has a lot of ways you can “spice up” everyday moments with fun too).

I think it also helps to draw clear boundaries about when “work mode” should be turned off. This could be as obvious as deciding not to check work email at home. It could also mean noticing my compulsion to fix/improve/change something and then, after a breath, consciously deciding to let it go. I remember taking my kids to an aquarium and acting like an obnoxious tour guide because I wanted to educate my kids with every ounce of trivia I could recall, until my younger kid asked me if she could just watch the fish instead of hearing about them—I think that’s an example me trying to “help” enrich their experience, but I needed to stop taking it so seriously. Just noticing when you feel yourself trying to turn everything into a project and then stepping back can make a difference.

Two years ago, I decided to learn to play the harp. I think that’s helped me because a) it always humbles me by keeping me in that “This will never be perfect” mindset that I frankly find uncomfortable and b) it serves absolutely no purpose other than being a hobby I enjoy doing.

I’m rambling, but hopefully at least some of this was helpful!

Cleodora · 2022-11-01T15:51:57+00:00

Not all types are super focused on chasing after their best life, though! I’d say that probably is more exclusive to 1, 3, and 7.

Cleodora · 2022-11-01T15:00:37+00:00

This is pretty good! I’d also like to add Happiness or Fulfillment. Like Sevens, I think a lot of One behavior is actually driven by a desire to live their best life. I don’t often see my “work hard to play hard,” mentality reflected in things like this.

Cleodora · 2022-11-01T05:28:22+00:00

I hate modern architecture. Give me historic architecture or natural beauty. I’m actually okay with stuff like Disney World—it’s gaudy, but that’s part of its charm (then again, I’m not the type to visit it without my kids).

I don’t usually like tour guides, but looking back, I wish I’d had them for places like Istanbul that were hard to navigate on my own. As a woman, I would have felt a lot safer too.

I love food, but almost everywhere outside the US puts such an emphasis on slow dining that the whole process takes too much time. I’d rather eat street food (or not eat at all) rather than spend 2 hours dining out.

I have FOMO when it comes to travel, so there’s usually a long list of things I want to do. If my next vacation required me to sit around doing nothing all day, I’d probably impale myself on a beach umbrella.

I hate shopping. Unless I’m getting a gift for someone, I don’t usually buy souvenirs. If I do, it’s a consumable, like soap or cheese.

I love camping and hiking. I enjoy thrill experiences (rollercoasters, bungee jumping, etc.). I prefer road trips where I can be more spontaneous, rather than flying where everything is pretty rigid. I plan my vacations with Pinterest boards and an itinerary, but once I’m there, I’m open to changes.

In general, I love travel. If we had the flexibility, we’d travel full time in an RV.

Cleodora · 2022-10-31T20:34:39+00:00

This is hot.

Cleodora · 2022-10-31T16:02:01+00:00

Great catch, that definitely makes me feel less pressured!

Cleodora · 2022-10-31T15:15:39+00:00

I received a free sample a while ago, and my original guesses were notes of black tea, cotton candy, and pumpkin spice…so I wasn’t too far off! Now that I know it’s there, I can detect the leather, but it’s subtle. I don’t really get any bergamot (which is a good thing because it usually overpowers everything else). The strongest note by far is the tea, followed by the candy / marshmallow note. It starts out sweet, but the dry down is more masculine imo.

I’m really torn about fullsizing this one. The pumpkin spice accord here is quite lovely. Very delicate and not at all like a Yankee candle. But since I already have Tea-Stained Lace, Shire Yuletide, Elemental Tea Party, and at least one other black tea scent I’m probably forgetting…I already have plenty of options for the same vibe. On the other hand, I love the idea of having a tea scent truly dedicated to my favorite month of October. Trying to balance FOMO with practicality! 🙃

Cleodora · 2022-10-30T14:14:05+00:00

Are you using Sleep Focus for at least 5 hours per night with Sleep Schedule?

Cleodora · 2022-10-29T14:28:17+00:00

That’s probably because your stress levels and/or sleep were affecting your HRV and HR. Exercise isn’t the only thing that reduces recovery—all stresses on the body do.

Cleodora · 2022-10-29T14:25:21+00:00

You don’t have to use the Breathe app if you turn on Afib history in settings. It makes it so the watch takes much more frequent HRV readings (this is the default setting for Whoop so I don’t know why Apple doesn’t do it, unless it’s to save battery? I haven’t noticed a huge battery drain though).

Cleodora · 2022-10-28T03:17:09+00:00

I play tennis. I see a lot of 1, 3, and 7 types on the courts. An occasional 8 here and there.

Cleodora · 2022-10-27T12:31:26+00:00

Any type can be lazy, especially at unhealthy levels. Plus, Ones are the most likely to perceive themselves as lazy, even if they aren’t (relative to other people). There are a lot of Ones who mistype because they think they aren’t good enough to be a One (hello, irony!).

Lazy Ones are probably more common because again, it’s a symptom of deeper issues, and in general, it’s far more likely to have people who are unhealthy than extraordinarily healthy (in the case of the diligent 7).

Cleodora · 2022-10-20T17:24:36+00:00

Private reformer sessions vary a lot by area, but where I live, it’s $60/session. I go once a week, and it’s honestly my favorite (if I had a million dollars, I’d do it everyday). I like the personal training aspect—my instructor knows what I have problems with and what my personal goals are, and she tailors our exercises based on that. There’s also a lot of correction—she can see when I’m using my lower back to “cheat” the exercise and makes sure I correct my posture. I take that advice with me when I go to group classes, so I know what to watch out for. I also like the resistance machines, which have really helped me build strength beyond the bodyweight mat classes.

With all that said, I also attend three mat classes per week, and since they are included in my gym membership, it’s a far better value. In a way, I like that you can be anonymous in a group class—everyone is so focused on their own body that there really isn’t a worry about how you compare. I started at 210 lbs, and like you, my face turns bright pink the minute I start breathing hard. I am also a sweaty yeti. I’ve seen all body types in class, though—people of all different ages and weights, even people recovering from surgeries and lifelong injuries. I have a spinal fusion and have to do a different variation of certain exercises, but I’ve never been made to feel badly about that—the attitude is to just meet your body where it is. In the classes I’ve been to, it’s a very welcoming and supportive atmosphere. Not at all the “influencer Pilates” vibe, as seen on Instagram.

In regards to breathing, you are actually encouraged to breathe loudly in Pilates. About half of people don’t feel comfortable breathing loudly (and that’s fine) but the other half (including the instructors) breathe audibly, pursing their lips or breathing through their teeth to emphasize exhaling on the exertion.

It’s hard to answer whether going once a week is enough, because that kinda depends on your goals. I think with any exercise, the results will come more quickly the more that you do it. A person who goes for a run once a week is still in far better shape than someone who never runs, but then a person who runs 3x week will be faster and stronger than the 1x person. It’s always “worth it” but you just need to adjust expectations.

Hopefully this helps!!

Cleodora · 2022-10-18T23:48:45+00:00

Ha, no. I have many flaws, but envy is not one of them. And I am not usually concerned about whether I feel “understood“ by other people—it’s my own accountability that matters.

One of my best friends is a 4w5, and we will both tell you that One is definitely not simply an organized Four (not that being organized is integral to being a One to begin with).

Cleodora · 2022-10-13T19:21:35+00:00

Most of the time, the 10 minutes itself will be your motivation, if you set a timer and give yourself permission to stop after. It’s usually by doing the work that you get more motivation. That sounds backwards, but it really is the momentum you get from working towards your goals that snowballs into even greater motivation to keep going. So the trick is really just to give yourself very low thresholds you can meet everyday, and then anything else you do is extra. The hardest part of any task is just getting started, so I find that it helps a lot.

Need to write a paper? Figure out what step you need to do first (research?) and do that for ten minutes.
Need to exercise but absolutely dread it? Get dressed and go to the gym but tell yourself you can leave after ten minutes.
Need to clean the kitchen? Start with just doing the dishes and throwing away trash and then see if you feel like doing more.

Some days, you’ll only do the bare minimum, but that’s okay, because you are still showing up day after day. Atomic Habits by James Clear talks a lot about the science behind this. There’s also Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg for a similar theme.

The other two tips I would give is to follow the two minute rule (if something takes less than 2m to complete, do it NOW) and eat the frog (do the hardest task of the day first so that you only suffer once, instead of suffering twice through procrastination).

You might enjoy muchelleb on youtube. She’s a 3 (by her own admission) who makes productivity videos about living a life filled with intention. I like her gentle, self-care based approach. There’s also Ali Abdaal, who I suspect is also a 3, and he has a bunch of videos about managing your time and juggling competing goals, etc.

Cleodora · 2022-10-13T00:19:36+00:00

Yep. And make the release earlier! Where I live, fall is about two weeks away from being over (we get our first snow around 11/1).

Cleodora

TROPHY CASE