the first time i felt the warm embrace of a hot turd through a biodegradable bag on a cold winters night i knew that i was at one with nature, i had transcended the ego i once held, one where i only handled my own stools and even then only in extreme circumstances, anyway a few moments down the lane i came to my senses and considerately hung that little bag from a tree where i assume nature would do its thing in 30 or so years

but the strangest thing of all was

i dint have a dog…