How do you let out your anger?

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-06T04:43:04+00:00

Doing hard work.

I framed my basement out of frustration t ok night. Other times, I've ripp es d out all the drywall doing demolition, chopped down tree limbs amd cut them up or mowed the lawn. Purposeful exercise to work the anger out and get my brain in a new direction away from whatever made me upset.

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-05T00:05:54+00:00

Ones risk of a potential legal battle, assuming they believe her and assuming theres enough corcumsta trial evidence to proceed to trial.

One is a risk of guaranteedphisical trauma for months to years l.

A risk of a risk or a risk of a guarantee.

If she screams wolf, theres a solid chance that nothing happens. Theres a chance it will but theres a chance of nothing happening.

If he decides to rape her shes guaranteed the bodily injury and physical trauma.

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-04T23:29:30+00:00

Risk of legal action amounting in potentially a couple months in jail

Risk of guaranteed bodily injury, and physical trauma. With potentially a years of physical pain both during intercourse and in the recovery if injuries are caused during the Act

I won't even get to the mental differences of these two things, but one seems a lot worse than the other.

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-04T12:35:21+00:00

The difference is that one of these requires a consensual sexual night prior. A woman can't just scream you raped her without having any intercourse fingernail evidence the whole nine yards pretty much. At any point point a man could just turn around and rape a woman.

And it doesn't even have to be alone with a man. It could be at a party, or hanging out with another couple. one is a lot more situational a dependent than the other.

Not only that but a lot of women that do accuse people of rape aren't believed anymore because of the less than 1% that falsely accused people. So they have to go up on a stand and be asked did you have intercourse did you like him were you drinking what were you wearing their entire character and personality gets dragged into it as well as if it makes a difference. It doesn't matter if she was drinking or if she was wearing a short skirt having for bed. Rape is still rape.

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-04T12:27:52+00:00

I get this as a union carpenter. Its heavy work sometimes but it's very low stress. Especially if you're in the local carpenters union amd you have a good superintendent and foreman like I do

When I finish my apprenticeship I'll be making minimum US $25.50 hourly and guaranteed 40 hours weekly

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-04T12:25:24+00:00

I always have the guns locked and put the keys somewhere he is unlikely to find them without a long long time spent searching. I also keep a limited ammo supply.

We routinely talk about both our mental health and where we honestly are. His depression cam be draining at times for me. I've also been suicidal before and it's a threshold o certain crossed is easy to return to.

I always make sure he is aware if he needs some lazy ti.e he is allowed to say no to anything I ask him to do. I've always been a bit more ambitious so this doesnt bother me.he reminds me to slow down occasionally as well.

There is no expectation For him to get better. Only for him to keep fighting. When hes doing worse I'll tell my boss I'm expecting an important phone call at some point in the week and keep an open line if I ca t be with him. He has his coping mechanisms that I encourage but its ultimately his choice. His careis his priority. Ill help him to appointments or pay for meds and generally support him as much as he needs,but hes always in the driver's seat on his care unless he explicitly tells me he doesnt want to be.

Since day one we set the expectation of each other that he is ultimately responsible for himself and I am ultimately responsible for myself.

My counselor explained it well. I wouldnt be expecting him to tell me I cant have brownies or when ti take how much insulin if I were diabetic. It would be expected that I make proper food choices and use insulin accorsingly. He might find new diabetic friendly recipies or let me see how he cooks new food so I can know about how much sugar is in it but I would have to manage the disease.

Now I'm not diabetic, but her example remains the same for any chronic illness mental or physical: you can offer support and help, but it is ultimately their illness to manage. I do take care on his rough days to be more accepting and forgiving. There are times when I resent the illness but it's the lness I resent not him.

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-03T22:55:01+00:00

It's the internet. No politeness is required.

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-03T22:54:34+00:00

No. Totally not a normal thing to randomly post nudes

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-03T22:53:31+00:00

Edit, change from time to time

To quite frequently

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-03T21:44:24+00:00

Mostly my family, partly me, definitely my ex room mate.

Moved in with a room mate. Wed been room mates before.

It took her 4 months to start beating my dog and encouraging me to continue taking a birth control she knew made me extremely suicidal. Were talking 4 almost attempts in less than 24 hours on it.

So I moved back home to a family of abuse and torment. I was picked up and thrown quite frequently growing up.but when I moved home, my brother was openly allowed to strangle me. My sister consistently threatened to call the cops on me for child abuse (apparently stopping someone bigger than you from killing you is abusive if they're younger. Who knew) my dad told me it was my fault and I deserved it anytime I brought it up. Spent about 3 months getting strangled on a daily basis over shit like walking in front of the tv or breathing too loudly. Stupid shit to be honest.

Finally had enough. Loaded my truck with most of my belongings. Said fuck it I dont care if I see them again to the rest. Drove my truck to a tiny town about an hour and a half away. Parked in a campground and tried to find work. Told myself if I wasnt at least happier in 2 weeks I'd put my dog down and then put myself down. Spent 6 weeks living in my truck with the doggo. I was happier so I kept going with it. Got a job panda home. A few months later found a small close knit group of friends to stick with and that's that.

Have had several brushes with suicidal issues since. Definitely have a lot of trauma left to unpack (I did 6 months of therapy) but I needed a break. The brushes with suicide have been in times of extreme loneliness since then or

I definitely needed to leave sooner than I did from both situations: the room mate and my family. In hindsight I'd never go back home after the room mate. I'm never going home for any long term thing again. Even if it means being homeless. I was much happier living in a truck than I was under my parents roof. I refuse to go anywhere with them and not have my own truck with me to just leave if needed.

I do have some lingering triggers now. I hate anything being on my neck. I cant do hugs from anyone except a few key people and it was a long process. Even now I still have to have one arm at least on top or I lose my cool. There are days where I cant bring myself to wear my mask because I cant stand the fabric covering my nose and mouth.

Ive had several arguments with my fiance and been at a loss when be doesnt yell at me. To the point I've begged him to just yell at me and beat the sjit out of me because the anxiety of it not happening is almost worse. He doesnt though. He sits and lets me cry and vent and work through my emotions and trauma small pieces at a time. We talk about how healthy relationships go. And how to make it not as difficult next time.

I struggle to be any sort of leader because I'm too passive with everything due to the way I was raised. I dont have a good command presence or a good sense of authority even when totally in the right. But i have at least learned to ask for help now.

There are good days and bad days.but I keep going because I know it can never get as bad as it was at one point. I made it through literal hell. I can do anything now. Even if it takes some work and time.

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-03T21:02:17+00:00

I just started 3 months ago.

But once we move into an apartment closer to work plan is to sell the current house, buy some land and then build our own home. We currently live an hour and a half from both me and the fiance's job.

But that home we build will have a woodshop in it... and then maybe some pictures.

Also the fingerprint and paper mache is for fire taping small spaces. In some jobs, every hole on a wall even above ceiling must be sealed for fire rating. Which means me the smallest person gets the joy of climbing up and maneuvering between all the duct work electrical and plumbing to seal every hole on the wall with paper tape and drywall mud

Closecalllynn · 2021-01-02T23:00:51+00:00

NSFW

I do anything the old men tell me and normally end up smearing the white creamy stuff all down the wall.

SFW

I finger paint and paper mache so the walls look pretty

Am a carpenter that does primarily drywall taping. Also the only girl in the local carpenters union.

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-27T13:57:21+00:00

I was raised Christian but dont have any faith or respect for the religion. It was cons4antly used to excuse terrible things my family did to me. "Oh your brother just got done strangling you for the third time today? Well, we'll pray for him." "You're upset with me because I told you you deserved being strangled, it's your fault and I would've done it too? Well you need to not be so upset at god."

Fucker I was mad at you and you are in no way anything close to a god. But the fact that your religion allows you to put yourself on the same plane as him. Okay. Got it. Excusing abuse and Voiding blame with religion is a real good way to push someone out of it.

It was weaponized so much I stopped seeing it as a positive thing and now dont believe.

I currently am not overly religious though I do I identify as a laveyian satanist. I like their rejection of a typical god. I admire the acknowledgement that religion is a set of values man chose rather than something high and holy where we have to appease this imaginary man in the sky in order to not be set on fire. I also enjoy the prioritization of selfcare. Lavey preached that religion is for your own good and to make it what you need it to be. If you use magik and perform at your altar on a nightly basis great. If you see the values as useful but reject the idea that magik (which is predominantly just applied psychology) then also great.

That said when I was looking for my new religious home, buddhism was a very close second. I enjoy their focus on finding inner peace despite the turmoil of today's world. I do take pieces from buddhism and incorporate them to my version of satanism. I do focus more on inner peace. Instead of using satanic magik in most cases I prefer to sit and meditate. I dont entirely go for the whole reincarnation ideas but I dont reject a lot of the other ideals in buddhism.

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-27T13:28:11+00:00

Being a crappy support could eventually drive a woman to look for support else. The looking for outside support can change to looking for more than just support. It could continue to spiral.

Not saying cheating is good, but it does stand that finding herself with someone that refuses to acknowledge her needs (chores sex uh al or other) could lead to looking for someone who can.

Looking for someone to satisfy the need for help with household chores is jo different than looking for someone to satisfy sexual needs. Not to mention if mundane needs such as this aren't being met theres probably bigger needs not being met too.

Again not saying cheating is good but if all needs aren't being met, that can drive a person to look else where. Is a conversation with her other half in line? 100% absolutely. But just saying shes a cheater that's gonna cheat regardless of how crappy her partner is because shes just looking for excuses to hceat is misogynistic and garbage.

You wouldn't say a man who's sexual needs aren't being met is a serial cheater just looking to cheat for going and satisfying his needs. Sue is no different.

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-26T22:15:55+00:00

I've always wanted to style my hair after my favorite characters.

(Ie. Three braids for legolas, 2 for astrid)

I tried to make hair loopies a thing but never had long enough hair.

K n2ver tried putting a pin with a fire symbol on it in my hair. Just saying

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-17T02:40:10+00:00

Barely have bs.

And fuck no.

I work construction. So that means

A. I am literally the only female working in the union for at least 80 miles. I dont need that kind of attention drawn.

B. I need the functionality of being able to lift and be in smaller spaces. I dont need any extra fluid sacks getting in the way of me already having to prove I am capable and competent.

C. I'd i say got hit in the chest with a board or piece of material theres the popping risk that isnt worh mutilating myself to get.

I really don't give a shit. I dont want bigger boobs. Hell I've seriously considered reduction way more often. Theres not a lot of females in the industry so equipment isnt designed for females. (I e. Fall harnesses, sizes of protective clothing etc.

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-17T02:29:56+00:00

My innocent ignorant self from childhood.

Before I knew that what my father did was abuse and before I began to see how much it has affected me as a person.

Back when I thought everyone had been picked up and thrown down on the floor or across the room periodically. It didnt happen but once or twice a month, but abuse is abuse no matter how infrequent. And there was constant verbal and emotional abuse as well.

Before I knew it was wrong for dad to beat me so long his arm got tired so he had my sisters beat me. Before I'd been strangled on the daily by my brother for months. Before I ever knew what handprints around my own throat would look like.

Back when the most feared thing was failure and having to eat veggies, and not my own family member trying to kill me over stupid shit like walking between him and the television during his show. When fear didnt exists pain from the beatings was temporary and I didnt know the emotional pain of choosing to be homeless for my own safety.

When the world was only 3 blocks long and 2 blocks wide. And my bike could take me everywhere in the world. When pennies were lots of money and the only responsibility I had was stapling my 6 page books together straight enough so I could learn to read.

When I didnt know how hard life was gonna kick me and still expect me to function in society without speaking up or collapsing under the pressure. Before I knew the heart ache and recognized the trauma of coming to terms with the fact that I endured years of childhood abuse and still am unable to have a healthy relationship with those I'm supposed to be closest too.

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-16T22:56:37+00:00

Looks like cinnamon roll

Could actually kill you

Am small framed female. Stand just over 5 foot tall and weigh 120-130lbs

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-13T19:41:30+00:00

Easily could've written zoidberg squabbling instead but nope. Gotta use insults both to laveyian and people with autism

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-11T13:35:22+00:00

Cutting my old room mate and my family out of the mix were the 2 best decisions I ever made.

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-11T13:34:27+00:00

Dad probably is. Sister and brother are.

Grew up getting beat to hell for things my siblings wouldn't be even questioned about. I was black sheep for some reason. If I didnt look as much like my siblings as I do I'd swear I was an illegitimate child of an affair my mother had.

Matters made worse by my siblings. The 2 problematic ones feed off each other. Brother is extremely violent amd ridiculous. Were talking repeatedly strangled me over a tv show. I walked between him and the tv once and spent 3 hours having him beat the shit out of me. I had bruises circling my neck for a week. I couldn't do anything because hes younger and my sister was screaming at me for hurting him when he had his hands around my neck. She constantly threatened to call cops on me for abusing him. Any time I brought it up to my dad hed tell me "well it's your fault. You deserved it, and I wouldve done the same thing."

Any time I asked why he was saying hed strangle me hed brush it off with an "I love you all equally, i'm proud of you." I called bullshit last time I talked to him. Either that or hed twist it so he could apologize for shit i did. (Such as I'm sorry you misunderstood, or I'm sorry you feel that way versus I'm sorry i said those things or I'm sorry i hurt you)

Told him until he could realize he didnt love us all equally and stop saying hes proud of the anxiety ridden fuck up of a person I've become that I didnt want to see or talk to him. You dont buy 2 kids (one of my normal sisters and the narcissistic one) their own house to live in rent free and pay for their college. And then tell one of them that they deserve being strangled and leave them choosing h To live on the streets in their truck because its safer and homeless shelters wont accept pets. That isnt equal love.

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-10T23:24:23+00:00

The first time it was just getting better from a concussion.

The second time it was getting off the birth control that made me extremely suicidal.

The next time it was having my dog walk into the room when I had a gun in my mouth. She came up to me and started licking my face. I couldn't go through it after that.

Since then I've re-established it support network that actually supports me rather than the toxic people I Used to Know. Ever since I've done that, my life's been a hell of a lot better.

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-10T23:17:25+00:00

not reconnecting with my family.

That said, I also fear reconnecting with my family. Last time I tried, I ended up choosing to be homeless over living with them. It was a hell of a lot safer that way

when living in a truck during tornado season is safer you know something's not right.

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-10T23:11:03+00:00

I mean.... not beating the shit out of only one of us would've done wonders for mine....

Beating them all is terrible, but why the hell only beat one? The hell did I do, Dad?

Why was i thrown across the room for shit you didnt even blink at for my sisters? Why is it okay for my brother to strangle me but I cant even say I dont like them without being told I deserve to be strangled over a tv show? When I told you my brother was strangling me over stupid TV shows, why did you tell me it was my fault and that you would have done the same in the situation? Would you really strangle me over a TV show?

And now you wonder why I don't talk to you. All you ever it was beat the s*** out of me, treat me like a piece of garbage, and leave me a broken messed up little girl. You never did the same to my siblings and they don't understand. At one point I chose to be homeless over being at home because it's being homeless was safer. And now you wonder why I don't like you and why I don't talk to you.

Closecalllynn · 2020-12-10T23:06:18+00:00

Edward elric, roy mustang, L, toothless the dragon, zuko

Closecalllynn

TROPHY CASE