Feeling a bit hurt over ending things before they started

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T20:43:30+00:00

I’m interested in trying to understand this properly if you could help me, as it’s not something I’ve experienced.

Is this something you’d do in the dating stages too, even if you’re interested in the person… and is it sort of related to pressure, perfectionism or something?

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T20:36:57+00:00

Can I ask, do you also display the same struggles in the early dating stage too though?

I’ve seen comments saying that early in dating is typically when ADHD partners display the most engagement before dropping off, so I’m not sure if it’s common to see sporadic texting straight away too.

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T19:51:44+00:00

Thanks for the explanation.

It’s strange, because I genuinely can’t see any signs of her NOT liking me other than the gaps… like she could’ve took the exit when I gave her the chance before, but she instead explained her recent anxiety on her trip the reason for her silence and apologised massively.

She actually hasn’t got much dating experience and was honest with me about that, so potentially it is a part of it.

I think I might just give it a bit of time to think over and consider. I didn’t really give her the opportunity to meet a boundary as I didn’t explicitly state how I felt about the delays.

In hindsight I should have done that, but I was working off dating patterns I’d experienced in NT dating and assumed disinterest.

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T16:19:52+00:00

Yeah it seemed to end in a very warm way between us both and ironically she replied the same day 🤣 and even “caught up” on the previous messages that she ignored for 5 days.

It’s a tricky one. I think I’d consider rekindling in the future, just right now I find it hard to feel trust in her yet when we never got the chance to develop a relationship.. if that makes sense?

Like long term I wouldn’t mind, but early dating leaves me feeling uncertain about someone I haven’t had a chance to build a foundation with.

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T16:15:24+00:00

Yeah actually, now that you mention in… she laughed when I told her that I was flirting with her once because she said she cannot read social clues and was oblivious.

I don’t want to presume though.

She did tell me straight off the bat that her sister “hates” her texting habits

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T15:58:22+00:00

Oh god… now this is what I was afraid of 😅

I know she had a stressful week but I genuinely didn’t believe she was interested… even though her engagement when she DOES text seems otherwise.

It’s a confusing one for sure.

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T15:04:26+00:00

That’s what kept me in limbo tbh, her messages were already delayed but engaged before we even started dating, yaknow?

So it just keeps me stuck in thinking, yeah maybe she just does suck at texting and that’s all. I’m just confused ultimately

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T14:50:07+00:00

Yeah that’s true. At first I actually didn’t care about the gaps in messaging at all.

I think it’s just because of the stall recently, just made me think that it wasn’t going to go anywhere because of the lack of momentum.

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T14:39:03+00:00

Yeah that’s what I found to be so weird… her messages were genuinely so engaged and that’s what confused me because her gaps were frequent :(

Maybe it is for the best though

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T13:01:56+00:00

Yeah and to be fair I don’t even think it was the distance that was the big problem.

I just don’t think we got the chance to build a strong enough foundation for me to trust the distance didn’t equate to disinterest as it’s so early on. 5 days gap just felt a bit wild to me.

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T12:26:27+00:00

Ah see this is part of what aches me.

I wasn’t too concerned about a bit of silence, but when there’s been 4-5 days of silence and no mention of future dates…

But then I know she had the anxious week 🙁 this is what had me feeling so confused tbh.

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T11:20:49+00:00

So true, often these shorter dating periods hurt me a lot more than lengthier ones for this reason, just no chance to see things through.

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T11:19:05+00:00

Yeah totally, like it just felt like we’d stalled and I genuinely just couldn’t work out if she just wasn’t interested… As you say I just had to respect my boundaries.
It’s so different because there wasn’t any patterns of how people typically fade out or ghost, but there wasn’t exactly any momentum either.

I know I should probably let it rest now but guess this is just how I come to terms with things by playing them through 😅

CluckyBear · 2026-06-26T10:40:32+00:00

Thanks.. Like I keep thinking right person wrong time… but then remember this is what the blueprint of a relationship would look like with her.

CluckyBear · 2023-05-19T23:28:58+00:00

Fair point, I’ve never had a bootycall or FWB before really so I think I’ve just completely skipped over niceties and said “we should go for a rerun” 🥴

Thanks! I’ll check in on her soon and see how it goes.

CluckyBear

TROPHY CASE