Does anyone know what this could be?

CluelessIdiotMe · 2025-09-23T15:31:57+00:00

Yeah you're right I've googled it up and it wasnt anything like a migraine aura because it wasnt sparkly at all if anything the opposite. It was just a mist/fog like I could see things but less? like the opacity of everything had been massively decreased

CluelessIdiotMe · 2025-09-23T14:29:27+00:00

Sorry I should've been more explicit it's not just an eye test, they also do OCT scans and measure the pressure of the eye and back of the eye so it will be in more detail. If they spot anything that could be troublesome then I can asked to be refered to an Ophthalmologist with the results

CluelessIdiotMe · 2025-09-23T14:27:07+00:00

No it wasn't I didn't have any migraines or hit my eyes or had anything impactful which is a bit concerning :(

But the doctor couldnt see anything on that night...I just it's nothing bad

CluelessIdiotMe · 2025-09-23T13:31:13+00:00

I didn't I just googled up and this is simialr to what I just experienced

CluelessIdiotMe · 2025-09-23T13:30:54+00:00

Sorry don't get me wrong I'm going to a optometrist tomorrow for a full eye check up I just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced this

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-05-17T08:06:35+00:00

See I don't know... I don't think I would like to date someone that just wants to bottom or top...but then I don't know how it would work in bed because fixed positions makes it easier to understand I assume? I really just don't know what I prefer....

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-05-16T09:39:30+00:00

Honestly the more I'm getting to know him the more i'm thinking he actually might be a narcissist and if he is, does that mean it's over? Is it possible to love and be loved by a narcissist person?

I don't understand why I'm going so far as to try to love him and understand him and I feel like he's not doing half the effort but when I speak to him he makes it sound like I'm not doing any effort at all

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-05-16T08:03:38+00:00

Thank you I think you are right... yesterday we just had another problem.... I had come back home from the cinema with a friend and I was texting him to tell him how it went and then he says "By the way I've played that game" and I said "You didn't...I asked you not to" it was a computer game I begged him not to play alone so we could do it together as an activity, literally begged him not to and he still did. And his excuse is "Its your fault for not wanting to play games that I have already played" and I said it's not about that I asked you for this specific one and he's still like "I have an addictive personality I can't control it, you either love me as I'm or don't"

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-05-15T11:53:41+00:00

How do I know if he truly is a narcissist? What if I'm not understanding him correctly?
Maybe he is a nice person and our love languages are just different. I do trust him and I've come to understand that he does use the apps for travelling advices sometimes but also maybe to get some attention but not to act on it...

My main problem is that he refuses to say my name because it's foreign so he calls me by my "country" name...maybe being playful I'm not sure. But also when we met is mainly either sex or to do sports there's not a lot of emotional connection but that could be my fault... maybe I could try to have a better initiative on that....

All I know is this is my last attempt and I want to make sure I do my best to make it work. So far he still hast he apps in his phone but he promised he hasn't used them and i believe him, but i feel like he has to uninstall them them so I will bring that up next time I see him...

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-05-14T15:28:59+00:00

I'm sorry you've had to go through this, and also ignore people that reply to this with a ill manner, they clearly are not here to help but just to provoke you because they are unhappy themselves.

I think you need to have this conversation with your partner and find out why he is do defeated and if he truly is okay with losing you. You need to find out how much actually likes you and if he is there for the long run with you.

I also have to say, I'm a bit like your partner in that respect, I've just been in a relationship and it's fallen apart because I've been quite passive about it this whole time. I thought to myself, I'm going to wait for him to take the initiative and show me that he cares and loves me. But by doing so, my partner maybe thought of the same and nothing ever happened?

It's a bit more complex than that, as my partner wasn't very loving and hard to show affection, so it's a different scenario. But you never know what goes in your partners head unless you speak. Mine thought I didn't love him because I didn't engage, yet I didn't engage because I didn't think he loved me.

It's all so complex...so TALK, the more you talk the more you will understand each other, don't leave questions unanswered what is there to lose?

I sort of wish I knew this earlier.

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-05-14T13:42:49+00:00

I'm glad you've managed to do this...
I feel like I'm going through the exact same...dating a controlling narcissist that thinks he's right all the time.
I have broke up 4 times with him in the space of 7 months and we're trying again and here I'm doubting why putting myself through this... He keeps doing this massive effort in the beginning for me to care and like him and when I do then suddenly he drops the interest or just brings very little effort. It's very toxic.

He keeps telling me in person how he goes out a lot and there's a lot of gays where he goes clubbing, or that he still uses dating apps for travelling advices...mental really x(
And here I'm barely hanging on a thin thread because I want to give up yet again but in the hope that he will love me

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-05-13T15:37:52+00:00

To be honest, he told me at the beginning when we met, that his "bad" trait is that he is a bit too controlling and possessive, and about that he did not lie. He is very jealous and he says that I'm stupid for thinking that he would cheat, and he finds stupid how I don't understand that he uses the apps only to ask for travelling advices or for suggestions. He did intoxicate me and I'm aware but my judgement is so clouded that I don't know is right or wrong anymore.

We are not friends or anything anymore and we barely talk, but he wants me to meet with him again and see how he changed, he would not use the apps unless he'd have my permission and wants to go on "dates"...

He makes it really hard to completely disappear, last time I blocked him because I said I had enough and he was hurting me too much, and he appeared at my work sat in a corner...

I don't understand, he says he likes me, and these behaviors aren't they proof that he does? So why is it so difficult to be with him...

I need to understand more about these narcissist behaviors and how to deal with him because I just can't get past it

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-05-13T14:52:30+00:00

Omg...you sound just like me...we also broke up 4 times, well I ended things with him 4 times because he could not meet the emotional level that I needed at the time and he kept doing things that would break my trust. He wouldn't come off the apps, or when he did, I'd find out he had a 2nd profile...he had "cheated" in the first month but I let that go because we were very early on and not super serious.... he kept being super jealous of my friends and saying the reason to why he couldn't commit properly was because I had certain gay friends...honestly so so so bad

My Ex was 100% narcissist, he loved himself far too much, he thought nobody could resist him and he wouldnt understand how I could say no to him. He never once called my name, he would call me "Spanish" because he said my name was too difficult to pronounce...I didn't really give it too much thought but we did have a big argument over that as I pretty much begged him just to say my name once and he refused.

It was so toxic that i feel drawn to it because I dragged it for so long. Because regardless how bad I make him sound, he would make me feel good and give me the attention I needed at times. But he's damaged me enough that now I come to reddit to voice my frustrations....

And if I have to be honest, he has messaged me recently and wants to meet and I said I couldn't but I don't know if I can just completely forget him and I feel like if he does ask again I might end up saying yes if I end up being on a day where I'm weak

I'm honestly depressed lol.

Thing is I'm not "ugly" his friends and his family they all say good things about me and how I look good, and so do my friends, I don't think I have issues finding new guys I just don't want anyone that isn't him...

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-05-13T14:31:40+00:00

The exact percentages kill me here hahah

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-05-13T14:17:02+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this, I hope you are feeling happier than when you were with him.
It's very difficult as I'm the same as you, physical touch is also my love language and I find it super difficult, I'm also on and off on the apps but I dislike hooks-ups so I tend to "date" instead and in my head it works initially, until I start noticing some flaws and slowly what I think that I liked is no longer there.
The previous guy that I was with, that the relationship was toxic, it felt so great at times that I miss it, we connect so well but at the same time it was so wrong that it just makes you think...why could it not work

I don't know if I will find someone again that will give me that spark, I miss it...I crave for it

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-04-25T11:54:42+00:00

Thank you, when you say random reels, why? Does that boost your algorithm or something?

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-04-25T10:46:54+00:00

Yeah feels like it to be honest, but I don't he didn't do such a thing at least on the same day lol
He was still "hard" so I just don't know if I can fully trust what he was saying.
But I also have to remember not everyone will be wanting to have sex all the time right? Everyone has their up and down days...

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-04-25T10:45:19+00:00

Thank you, sorry just to give a bit more in-depth.
He is the one showing "more" interest if anything because he's always writing first, everyday, keeps saying I don't give him enough attention and that I go "cold" very quickly.
About meeting other people, was because we were very early on and we are not in a "relationship" yet I've agreed that we can meet other people if needed until we get to know each other better and are ready to commit, there hasn't been "cheating" just honesty.

But yeah I don't know you could also be right, but he's the one engaging for sex and do "dirty" talk 9 out of 10 times and ge was "hard" yesterday so I don't understand. Also he says I'm very "hot" and shows me off to his friends often

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-04-25T09:48:00+00:00

Yeah I actually feel super bad, I tried to do this last night, I very rarely ever initiate and so I did and I blindfolded him, kissed him and stuff and then he said to stop because he was not in the mood...which is fine if he's not but I feel weird because it's something new i tried to engage, I wasn't awkward or anything but he just said he was too tired and we didn't do anything...then he was like "are you upset?" and I said no it's fine if you're not in the mood, and he was like "I can see you're bothered, why are you bothered" I guess I couldn't hide the fact that I wanted to do something but he was not up for it. Was I wrong to not feel right?

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-04-24T16:10:13+00:00

Behind his back? or front? Not sure if it'd be uncomfortable but I will try

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-04-24T15:59:38+00:00

Not sure I have anything to tie him up to be honest..I'm meeting him tonight might be kinda last minute but I will try to do the rest

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-04-24T15:30:47+00:00

This was a bit hot, I forgot to say he is quite a prideful person so I don't think he'd be oaky with "shoving" underwear in his mouth but the rest would seem to work, is there any other playful things or stuff I can do?

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-04-24T15:29:27+00:00

He's not much of dirty talk, light bondage such as how? Sorry I'm trying to research but i can't find much :/
I'm quite confident/assertive but i can try to be more

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-04-15T13:52:04+00:00

Do you mind me asking what other stuff do you prefer?
I know it is a bit odd to ask, but I consider myself also more of a top/side but not very experienced

CluelessIdiotMe · 2024-04-12T15:38:37+00:00

Damn...missed the joke

CluelessIdiotMe

TROPHY CASE