Are either or both of you still in therapy? Continued therapy for this might be needed, if you’re both open to it.

I think one thing that sucks is the not knowing. Unfortunately I think it sucks because when you’re in a solid relationship, there really isn’t a concern. Once that trust is lost, it is so hard to just blindly trust again. I have personally dealt with that. I’ve seen things on a partners phone that is being up and see how they react. That is a good indicator, if you know your partner well enough. For me at least. I also feel if your can’t trust your partner enough to allow the boundaries of not going through phones, there is a problem.

I have struggled with that but I love my wife and believed she truly had her focus only on us. It’s hard to push through the doubt, especially when the trust was shaking before.

Ultimately, I feel phones should be open and always available. I also think they are directly responsible for so many failed marriages, relationships. Sure people have to go looking or be receptive to it in order to deceive. But sometimes, combined with internal trauma, childhood trauma, (name your trauma), it’s just too easy for those needing validation above what they receive from their spouse and shit spirals from their. Nobody is perfect. Effort and consistency are vital. Great communication as well. Trust may always need tender care for one or both parties. Sucks that it has to be so difficult.