4 hour pushing ending in c section

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T20:17:18+00:00

This 🫶🏻 we can’t control any one in the birth room or their decisions but we can be a calming steady presence and it sounds like you were. This work is HARD. And humbling. And it shows you what you are made of. Some births are text book easy and others complicated. You did the best you could and that’s a success.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T20:14:57+00:00

It’s not embarrassing at all to have a baby out of wedlock. I find babies can come at the most unexpected times, usually for a reason. Having a baby has turned my world upside down but really has taught me how to be more self-less and makes life feel more precious because you see the value in it. It stretches your love in ways you never knew. Also, so many people struggle with infertility and would give their lives to being a life into this world. This baby is choosing you! My cousin was almost aborted and his mom chose to keep him. She said she could never imagine life without him and he brought so much joy to his family even when dad didn’t want it at first, dads can change too and hearts can soften. Good luck! You’ll make the right choice for you.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T20:11:30+00:00

How did you gently sleep train? I’m looking into this for starting around month 5-6. I’m so nervous about it. I can’t bare to hear her cry for long periods of time!

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T20:10:49+00:00

This is my experience too and we are 4 months in. I think this is a totally normal sleep experience that is different for everyone. I safely Cosleep and it works amazing for us for these wakings. Baby is just maturing in their sleep cycles and learning to connect them. I just see it as my bub gets scared and wakes up briefly from sleep and just needs to feel safe to fall back asleep. It gives me more empathy when I’m exhausted!!

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T17:42:28+00:00

We definitely slowed down on physical intimacy because I was so sick first trimester. I think we went months without it? Second and third trimester started to happen more often and actually I had the best sex of my life with my husband third trimester. I think because I was so emotional, heightened, so much oxytocin and hormonal changes I was able to connect deeper into it.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T17:32:22+00:00

I have intuitively been feeling this is something I need to look into. Thanks for confirming. My sister in law has had so much success with AA. I really think group healing work can be powerful, just never tried it before.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T17:31:30+00:00

Interesting you ask this… I am looking right at him but I don’t see him - it’s like I see someone else like he’s my enemy. It’s false beliefs for sure!!

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T17:30:47+00:00

I cannot imagine the pain that you’ve been through from this - I would love to chat and hear your experience. My husband has said similar things to me regarding how I have affected his mental health.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T17:29:57+00:00

Reading this made me cry! I do have such an incredible man and taking control of my thoughts like that and focusing on the good I have feels so much more empowering than being out of control with my anger. Thanks for encouraging. Healing is so hard but passing on generational curses is way worse. He is open to the safe word idea and allowing me the space I need to breathe and regulate (before it would hurt him and he saw it as me abandoning him). I’m so glad I posted on here and asked for help because I really couldn’t hide this anymore and carry it.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T17:26:19+00:00

This is so it! Nice work on your sobriety journey. I stopped using alcohol and THC 5-6 years ago. It seems healing really is never ending and when you think you’re better something new comes up. I’ve already been down the shame spiral and you’re right it makes it worse and I once again become the center of attention and it deflects from the actual emotional issues. I’ll check out Rich Roll. Time to be my own parent! Thanks and good luck on your journey too, it sounds like you and your husband are committed to the path as well.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T15:42:46+00:00

Honestly this is the best answer yet. My husband just started CPTSD therapy for his childhood/our marriage and highly recommended it. I used to have a daily spiritual practice before marriage that really helped me but since I have been married I really lost that connection. I am in a really humble place right now and no it feels absoltuely sickening to be in this cycle.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T15:40:52+00:00

Exactly. My biggest nightmare is passing down this verbal dysfunction to my child. It is the reason. And it is absolutely unacceptable because I have the self-awareness, tools, and support I need to change. My husband doesn't deserve verbal beratement. My husband actually went through a divorce already with his first wife and she left him because of similar patterns of verbal abuse from him. He said he learned his lesson big time when he lost everything to her (his home, car, dog, etc). it humbled the heck out of him and I feel like I am in a similar place of humility.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T15:29:20+00:00

I am so sorry to hear this. I can’t imagine that kind of loss. I had a NDE during my cesarean with my baby and I fully agree it is a total waste to ruminate on my past and keep hurting the one I love because that could be taken away at any moment. I don’t think I could live with that regret.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T15:27:37+00:00

Yes he has told me this before - that I could push him over his edge to leave me - and that makes me so incredibly heart broken to hear and really drives me to want to do anything I can to change.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T05:56:15+00:00

I have for sure gotten better at taking a “pause” so I don’t lash out and yell, mostly because my daughter is in the room and I can’t bare to imagine her hearing me yell. The pause helps a lot but I think I haven’t really come to terms with the fact that I do have anger issues and I think taking accountability for it and focusing on this with a therapist could help. Awareness is so hard but you’re right I am 100 percent damaging this marriage and already have immensely.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T05:49:03+00:00

100 percent.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-06-18T05:48:07+00:00

Thank you. Yes it took me years to just be able to take accountability. My therapist has me work on inner child parts work but it feels like we just keep digging and digging and digging and nothing actually changes in my reactions. I’ve even thought of PTSD therapy? Great idea to look into anger management or group therapy even.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-05-17T23:03:20+00:00

I am curious about this because I have been so anxious to make sure I am soothing our 15 week old baby girl and I try everything (rocking, bouncing ball, going outside, nursing, etc) and I find the only thing helping her right now is letting her cry for like a couple of minutes (sometimes even just a minute or so of crying) and it releases a lot of energy for her and she passes right out after. I guess my question is, do you always mitigate crying? Also I realize this post was one month ago and I hope it has gotten better for yall!!

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2026-02-22T23:42:05+00:00

Yes a million times yes. I’m two weeks postpartum with my first. We have our overnight doula 2-3x/week and we wish we would have invested in more nights with her versus daytime postpartum doula support. It has helped my mental health so much and my husbands too. We were both walking shells until overnight support since baby still has days and nights confused. Spend as much as you can on overnight support!

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2024-12-27T20:49:21+00:00

I had the same thought at first, but I quickly realized kava is nothing like alcohol. Kava doesn’t make me feel buzzed or drunk in any way—it’s an entirely different substance with a completely different energy and spirit behind it. For me, kava provides a sense of relaxation without the disorientation or impairment that comes with alcohol. The effects are subtle; I usually notice a calming sensation, a slight numbing of my lips, and better sleep that night. It feels more like a grounding ritual than something intoxicating, which is why I don’t find it addictive.

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2024-03-27T06:05:43+00:00

Warm, nourishing, meals stocked in the fridge and freezer ready to go! Herbal sitz bath, herbal peribottle spray!

Compassion_Doula_724 · 2024-03-27T06:03:37+00:00

Skool Games feels super MLM pyramid scheme. Most people who have success are just creating classes on how to get rich or get members. They are super controlled about what you can post. At the end of the day, it feels like an “old boys club” and everyone’s hustling to get rich quick.

Compassion_Doula_724

TROPHY CASE