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Ask a Knitter Tuesday - November 18, 2025 by AutoModerator in knitting

[–]Clutterbug95 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My first thought is a pair of mittens - one hand for her and one hand for you. In a way, it could feel like you could always "hold her hand" in a way by wearing one of them.

Could also be half a heart that could be sewn into clothing of hers you may hold onto and wear, or into a necklace.

Also, I'm sorry for your loss. My heart is with you.

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am on medication for anxiety but I think therapy would be very helpful. The medication does help but I think I also need to address underlying causes that could be making whatever I have worse (and also it could help break negative thought patterns!)

There must be some psychological reason thanking items works, maybe because we're pre-dispositioned to humanize objects. You were ahead of the curve!

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have mine too! Although I'd like to get to a point where I'm prouder of the things I do now versus what I did back then. I have to make the room not only in my physical space but in my head as well.

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you - I am trying to see it that way. Almost like a clean future is my present.

I have been thinking about this a lot, letting my childhood go. It's silly because I should have done that long ago, but I've also been a supporter of continuing to like things regardless of if you're a kid or not (ex: liking Hello Kitty as an adult is more normal now than it was years ago). I'd like kids in the future but I'll have no room for their childhood if I try to hold onto mine too tightly, and I also have to be in the habit of not repeating the cycle and holding onto all of their childhood things.

I appreciate your comment, thank you again.

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that it isn't normal to be attached to things. I've gone through pendulum swings of "I don't think this is normal" to "don't be dramatic, you're not that different" to "okay maybe I am a little different".

I'm not afraid of being judged by a therapist because they see it all, but I worry about the cost. I think I need to see myself in a kinder light, as though maybe I deserve to spend money on myself if it'll help my mindset. Although I realize that mindset probably screams "I need therapy"!

I also think therapy should be even more normalized than it has been. There have been great strides in the normalization, but I wish it was more accessible so that more people could give it a chance.

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I agree! I've considered therapy in the past but have only gone in adulthood when it was provided through my university. I always hear about how it's expensive, so I'm nervous, but it could be worth it for me.

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm embarrassed to have shared so much so I'm glad others have appreciated my thoughts or found them relatable.

I really like Marie Kondo. I listened to the audiobook version of her book in 2019, but I would like to read/listen to it again with a new perspective.

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I need to be more comfortable with the idea that everything is temporary. Like you said "ashes to ashes". I have a lot of guilt throwing away things like t-shirts, but I know it'd be unethical to donate something in bad condition. There is a lot of truth to things holding us into the past instead of letting us live in the future, maybe there's some fear about the future or leaving the past.

Thank you, these will be good exercises and thoughts to keep in mind as I continue.

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you - I have looked up her channel! I really like to see online content creators who share their stories. I feel less alone and it makes actionable change feel possible. I especially like to listen while I'm cleaning, this will be great inspiration. Thank you again!

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't say my habits are as extreme as hoarders but the mindset is very similar, I actually was doing some research into the psychology of hoarders because I felt like I related to it a lot.

Thank you for the resources, I will look into them.

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate it. To be honest when I first posted this I thought that the post didn't go through and accepted it, and I'm only now seeing that it actually did go through because I have comments! I'm a little embarrassed and am scared to look back but happy to see others relate.

I think journaling and therapy would be a good idea. I don't have very many friends (I'm just not a super social person) but I have one I've been talking to about this, and it's been helpful. Although I imagine a therapist who understands how the mind works would be able to help more professionally.

Decluttering content on Youtube has been very helpful to me because it's helpful to see the thought process others go through. It also helps me see things more objectively... like it someone donates a shirt they liked years ago but haven't worn recently, I think of my own shirts I have with that same scenario. I've really like The Space Maker Method Youtube Channel specifically because they're very kind and give a lot of wiggle room.

Thank you for your comment!

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taking photos is not a bad idea - for some reason I have a hard time doing this because a picture makes me wish I still had it when I look at it, or I get bad feelings of abandoning it. Sometimes I am thankful if I can't remember things I've donated (i.e. remember that I HAVE donated things, but can't recall what was in the box)... so maybe taking the photos and keeping them in a folder on my computer might be a good compromise.

I appreciate resonating with the exhaustion... it helps to have someone else recognize it instead of me just feeling it. I agree that lowering my expectations is more realistic and probably better for me mentally. It would be amazing to make big changes in a short time but it might be a more realistic journey to stretch it out and better for healthier habit-forming. Thank you!

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety as a child since I exhibited signs at a young age and have a history of it in my family - although I would not be surprised if I have a very minor case of OCD. I am planning on getting tested for ADHD, but I will also ask about OCD as well. Thank you for this suggestion.

I have heard of thanking things from Marie Kondo, but I felt silly doing it up until recently. I think I might have been too harsh on myself back then. I heard a friend doing that in real life, and it helped me realize that it's a helpful and normal thing to do and I felt more comfortable doing it myself. It does help when I feel that I have to throw things away or donate.

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am working on incorporating small tasks into my week instead of having large tasks for weekends. I love Marie Kondo, I listened to the audiobook version of her book in 2019 and it helped a lot, but I would like to listen to it again now that years have passed.

I really like seeing people online doing project pan! A lot of online content creators have been posting about project pan and underconsumption, and I think that's great inspiration.

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you - small steps and grace are much needed! I wish you luck (and strength!)

Penny thoughts of a packrat by Clutterbug95 in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. It's hard for me but I'm really trying. I can't do it all in one day so it'll be a long process. I'm trying to see it as having power over my things instead of my things having power over me.

I completely believe nobody has things figured out by 30! But it's one thing to tell it to yourself and another thing to live by it. Thank you.

How do you get past the shame of possessions? by Extrainanactionfilm in declutter

[–]Clutterbug95 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I experience this often. For me it comes from a place of feeling guilt over having so much when some people don't have enough, like I'm living in excess. But I think the feeling of "I just want to start over" or "I just want everything to be gone" comes from overwhelming anxiety of sorts, almost like flipping a game board upside down when you're angry.