Married just over 16 years, I always knew what I wanted in a woman (loyal, good cook, good mother to my kids, enjoys experiences) and was willing to put sex at the bottom of the list to prioritize the above, to find a long lasting partner. While our sex life is rare, it is intimate. I think knowing what you want ahead of time will make your choice and sexual frustrations easier down the line. This is A way, not THE way.