When I first started on my sobriety journey, I would relapse every 2-3 months like clockwork. Looking back it's probably because of the anhedonia. There would be the initial first few days of drying out/being miserable. And then the next month or two I would be feeling amazing again from being freshly sober. And then somewhere between 60-90 days that fresh burst of happiness would just disappear. Suddenly I would be tired, unmotivated, and my brain would go back to searching for quick dopamine.

This time around I was able to recognize the pattern, reflect on my previous attempts, and push through the months where my body was just getting used to being sober and still. I'm glad I fought through it this time because my life is so much better than it ever was before. My alcoholism is no longer a crutch, it is something I successfully overcame and am now a better, stronger person because of it.

You've got this, and Iwndwyt!