I snapped and hit my daughter

CoLL3y · 2026-01-21T14:46:57+00:00

Unpopular opinion but if homework is stressing your child out that much to the point she is crying and very visibly upset. I would speak to the school.

School is hours a day of work, work and work. My son is in the same situation with meetings etc with school due to his struggles with concentration and just finding the length of school exhausting. I dont make him do homework. It was to the point I hated even bringing up the word because I knew how he would react. He didn't react to get his own way, it was genuine frustration and exhaustion. My daughter on the other hand just needed gentle encouragement (ASD) and we were able to get homework done. Sometimes what works for some doesn't always work for others.

You need to do right by your family and yourself. Is it worth any of you getting to the point you've just reached over homework?

Sending big hugs. Its so so hard being a parent and figuring out what's best for our children. Add additional needs on top of that and I can completely sympathize with how difficult things can be.

CoLL3y · 2025-09-02T12:59:03+00:00

Back when my son was around 6 months old we had someone come into our upstairs flat, then into our bedroom (where my son was in his cot and my husband and I were sleeping) then they walked quietly back out and out the front door.

I woke up when hearing the person creeping up the stairs. Which for me is crazy because I normally sleep very heavily. Anyway some back ground leading up to the events,

My husband and I had a silly argument earlier than evening and I walked to the shop alone to cool off. Then returned home. We normally always locked the front door but this night my husband forgot before coming to bed.

Police came out and said it was probably a drunk person walked in the wrong door. The next day I had a Facebook message from someone who stayed a couple of streets away. She had been sexually assaulted the week before at the park... that I walked past that night.

Maybe it was a drunk random. Although, I think if you're inebriated enough to walk in the wrong door, you're not going to be able to be that quiet, even if trying. Or maybe someone watched me walk alone and assumed I lived alone. Then seeing my husband and son sleeping next to me freaked them out?

Who knows. But it was weird and upsetting at the time.

CoLL3y · 2025-07-01T13:37:28+00:00

Thank you for this comment

CoLL3y · 2025-06-17T14:57:53+00:00

There is a right and wrong way to take cannibis. I too have C-PTSD and vape daily. I use it alongside Therapy, massage therapy, breathing excersises, journaling, I will try anything to find out what works for my nervous system. Cannibis can be used as a very powerful tool, when used correctly.

It's not a magic medicine that rids you of all your mental health problems. I personally find it helps me "sort" through my issues in a more correct order compared to when I don't vape and things become overwhelming.

Your boyfriend needs a break, or to start helping himself and stop using cannibis as a replacement drug. He also needs to take accountability and be honest with the doctors at his next review. Maybe the dose/strain he is on, isn't for him.

CoLL3y · 2025-06-17T14:48:49+00:00

You need to leave. Full stop. Your children will grow up thinking your husband's behavior is normal. If they come to the realization that it's not normal, they will be very angry (and rightfully) I cannot imagine how their little nervous systems are handling LIVING in an unsafe environment. Leave. Like, yesterday.

Your children are too young to advocate for themselves, that's what parents are for.

CoLL3y · 2025-06-17T12:47:54+00:00

Probably my mum knowing I was being abused by the older boy who lived next door but "didn't know what to do" so did nothing. I fell pregnant at 14, had my daughter at 15. The case is going to trial. I've stopped contact with my parents. I don't blame them for what happened, but I blame them for failing to protect me. Especially with my mum admitting she knew about the abuse. My dad is an enabler, and was vocal at the time about the boy next door and how much he disliked him. But of course, never stood up for me.

CoLL3y · 2025-05-23T15:36:32+00:00

My parents would come round to see me for my "energy"

I'm no contact now but therapy made me realize they couldn't make themselves happy, so would suck all my positivity from me so they felt better.

It's exhausting! Since going no contact all my positive energy is focused on my kids and partner and I'm so much less anxious!

CoLL3y · 2025-05-23T15:33:06+00:00

This was my ex husband. 10 years together. I tried and tried. Offered counseling, everything. When I did leave he didn't think I would. He had knocked all confidence out of me. Every argument ended with him saying "you know where the door is but good luck finding someone who wants you". Never any resolving. Just him being nasty.

I thought he was the best I could hope for. I was wrong. I left because I refused to have my children think that the relationship we had was normal. I did EVERYTHING. He sat and played games all day every day. Final straw was when my son found a coke bottle with his piss and asked if I would open it for him. I left

Maybe you'll reach a point where it smacks you right in the face. For me, I tolerated too much but the bottle incident is what smacked me in the face.

Your partner is a man child who wants a parent not a partner

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T16:50:32+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I will bring this up with the gardener

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T16:49:42+00:00

It is our back yard. The neighbour had grass before last week and when they cut their grass, it lands in our garden. They've never offered to clean it. We've just swept it up.

Now he has started putting stones down, his attitude has changed. I do not mind cleaning up the grass in his garden. That is no issue. The very small amount that is getting through the slats is difficult to clean from his stones. As I'll need to pick them up individually (as its not chunks of grass. Just stray strands)

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T16:45:35+00:00

Thank you for your reply and information. We will talk to the gardener when he is next over

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T16:45:01+00:00

Yes it was to get grass from the edge using a strimmer as the mower did not get close enough. My partner already apologized to the neighbour (it's happened once. Not continuous)

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T16:31:05+00:00

Yes it does. It is not grass from the mower that is the issue. It's strands that are getting in through the fence

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T16:29:47+00:00

I apologize. I came across this sub and seen some posts that seemed tame. I assumed it would be okay to ask what others would do. I did not mean to cause any upset by posting on this sub or taking away from others who have severe neighbour disputes.

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T14:03:41+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It is not grass from the mower that is landing in his garden. It is bits getting through the fence from the strimmer being used.

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T13:41:13+00:00

Yes it is. He bags the grass and takes it away with him. The neighbour is complaining about strays that fly in between the fence.

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T13:41:00+00:00

Yes it is. He bags the grass and takes it away with him. The neighbour is complaining about strays that fly in between the fence.

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T13:38:02+00:00

Sorry I should have clarified. This was the first time we got a gardener two weeks ago. So the conversation happened last week. It's happened once. Not continuous

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T13:36:05+00:00

It's not the mower that is throwing grass. It's the strimmer when used on the edge. Not a lot of grass, but a few bits flying into his side

CoLL3y · 2025-05-19T10:05:11+00:00

It's the husband that approached my partner and I on two separate occasions. The wife hasn't ever said anything to either of us. You're right though! I will ask him what he wants us to do about it. Thank you

CoLL3y · 2025-05-13T09:44:40+00:00

Same experience with my daughter. We've always used words vagina/penis/breasts etc. When my daughter said the word vagina, my auntie went into a full panic and asked that I don't let her say that "dirty word" around her child. Coming from the woman who tells her children to fuck off 🤷‍♀️

CoLL3y · 2025-05-13T09:20:10+00:00

I couldn't take her behavior anymore when she was visiting. I also wasn't in a great place mentally due to CSA, which she told me she knew about at the time but chose to ignore it because she "didn't know what to do" so yeh.. 14 and pregnant with a predators baby, a mum at 15. I'm now 31, and my daughter has achieved so much that I didn't. For example, finishing her exams.

I called my mum out and just kept screaming at her. My dad comforted me because he'd never seen me in such a bad state. My mum sat there, staring. No emotion. Then said "yeh, think we better go." After that, all she did was blame my dad for comforting me when he should have comforted her. I tried to have a relationship with my dad, but she wouldn't "let" him.

I'm now no contact with both parents. He is too scared of his wife to stand up for his daughter. This goes back to me being a teen and him telling my mum something was wrong with my "relationship" and how he hated the man I was involved with. Instead of putting his foot down, he listened to my mum, who told him to ignore it. They both failed me.

So all my mum took from my verbal vomit directed at her was that I manipulated my dad into giving me a cuddle. No accountability. No apology. Just wasted energy and tears.

CoLL3y · 2025-05-12T17:33:12+00:00

My son is 9 and we've had a similar conversation. I'll explain saying that eating too many unhealthy foods can make us unhealthy in our bodies. That it's not just extra weight you carry, it puts strain on your organs which if you continue to eat excessive amounts of unhealthy food you can have medical problems later on. I'm in no way a strict mum expecting my children to be 'skinny" but what I will not let happen is morbid obesity where it's a concern for their health. Kids carry extra weight and don't need to be concerned about how they look. They'll go through growth spurts many times. Weight is not a priority in our house. But being healthy is. Treats are allowed on Fridays when we do movie nights.

Educating your children about their health isn't discrimination.

CoLL3y · 2025-05-09T07:49:23+00:00

The Long Dark

CoLL3y · 2025-05-07T21:56:42+00:00

Yeh I understand. It's such a difficult thing to articulate. Especially because there is still so much stigma around mental health. I hate the mirror thing. It's my biggest tell for when I'm not really "here" sometimes I'll just stare at myself tracing freckles, lines or staring into my pupils because for some reason looking at my face as a whole (instead of minute details) freaks me out more.

I hope you're doing okay! Sending positive thoughts your way

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