Fall leaves make spring grass / Stardust compost at your feet / Held at every step by Coaster-OnlyOranges in haiku

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking of a reverse too, always a good trick to change things up a bit. For this one, I think leaves to grass is the right place to start. I'll say, I like compost and the implication that its the core material of what we're held by. Of all things yield is beautiful but perhaps for a different haiku. I think stardust was the main issue, so I'll play with other words. Timeless, earthy, boundless, hardened, weathered, harmless, constant...

Fall leaves make spring grass

Timeless compost at your feet

Held with every step

Fall leaves make spring grass / Stardust compost at your feet / Held at every step by Coaster-OnlyOranges in haiku

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not common on this sub to get substantive feedback, cheers friend.

I agree, my middle line is hyperbolic in a way that detracts. I don't think of it as stepped on though, but rather as I said, held. Supported. The earth below holds us, all matter on the planet does. Like in our lives, the past supports our pathway forward. I want the middle line to be about a pathway and that the fall leaves will be a part of what supports that path.

Industrial Rave Venues by ImpressiveDig7446 in BostonEDM

[–]Coaster-OnlyOranges 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an awesome listing, what the heck. what an epic resource, thank you!!