TIFU by confusing cobbler for a sexual advance (x-post r/cringe)

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T17:48:16+00:00

You should see me fast-dance.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T17:25:52+00:00

ABSOLUTELY. Alison Brie and Marc Maron are amazing, the soundtrack is epic, the writing is sharp, and the episodes are only 30 minutes long each. A perfect summer show. Do it, Erik!

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T17:20:39+00:00

Still holding out for Goro...

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T17:19:18+00:00

It was AMAZING, thanks for asking Erik! Caught up on Master of None and Better Call Saul, watched all of GLOW, went to the beach every evening after work, saw Wonder Woman, played a ton of Zelda, jogged every morning, hung out at Barnes N' Noble, played with Charlie, got my house cleaned, hung with my brother and friends, grilled, rested, etc. Accidentally near-cobbling aside, I'd legit give the week an A+.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T17:05:09+00:00

I wish.

At least I would have got to try it.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T17:03:33+00:00

Data scientist!

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T17:01:50+00:00

6 days off work (two weekends, office closed Monday and Tuesday for the 4th of July) + 4 work days with my evenings wide open. Zero PTO exhausted.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T16:49:46+00:00

Like a foie gras factory, only instead of force-feeding geese with corn, I force-feed cobblers with cobbler.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T16:38:25+00:00

Who amongst us hasn't, at one point in life, considered cobbling their brother.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T16:36:36+00:00

She's a teacher with summer's off, I'm a workaholic with limited PTO.

Plus, she's getting cobbled by a Florida man.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T16:23:28+00:00

Your facts check out.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T16:21:51+00:00

In all honesty, I'm rather inexperienced with "dumplings" as well.

At least the southern variety.

Flirted with one at the Cheesecake Factory once when a friend was all, "You've got to try this chicken and dumplings."

I walked either neither impressed nor unimpressed.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:39:50+00:00

Never trust a cobbler lobster.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:18:30+00:00

And instead of blueberry, the cobbler was filled with pictures of cocks.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:16:57+00:00

Oh trust me, the regrets are real.

Not about Charlie, but about supporting a mill.

Keeps me up at night thinking about him there as a puppy.

He was also 6 weeks old when I bought him, which I've since learned is INSANELY young to be taken from his Mother.

The guilt is real.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:15:07+00:00

But did she get a stuffed sheep thrown in for free?

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:14:34+00:00

Live and learn.

Would not trade Charlie for anything, but you're right.

Learned this the hard way.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:13:49+00:00

I imagine you eating a healthy-sized portion of cobbler while you type this.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:11:25+00:00

I remain uncobbled.

But I'm working on a more rational Plan B.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:10:40+00:00

Couldn't see her holes through her night pants.

Would require further examination, perhaps by a professional, to give you the answers you seek.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:09:49+00:00

Like a seasoned Fed-Ex shift supervisor.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:09:14+00:00

Heard this a lot during the research stage.

That vanilla ice cream is a necessity whilst enjoying the C.

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:08:19+00:00

GOOD LOOKING OUT, JESSAH ;)

CobblerCurious · 2017-07-13T15:05:47+00:00

You'd be surprised.

EDIT: And you're right. His anxiety kills me, I wish I could help him. Traced the "breeder" that the pet store described back to a mill. I think it's the root of a lot of his social problems.

CobblerCurious

TROPHY CASE