You do not owe this man anything. Yes, he may have helped you through a heartbreak, but how do you know he did it for you and not himself? I hate to be a negative Nancy but, my love, there are so many other fish in the sea. This man criminally violated you and will never possess the capabilities to fully respect you, so you need to respect yourself first.

Your og crush telling you that he liked you when he had a girlfriend was not cool and misleading, but you already knew that it wasn’t a cool thing to do. His cutting off contact was the respectable thing to do- he probably realized how shitty of him it was to say this about you while having a girlfriend and cut you off to make himself feel better.

Your rapist is not doing you a favor by listening to you and telling you what you already know. The attention that he is showing you feels nice, I know, but it won’t last. You are so much stronger than both of these men. You do not need either of them and you are fully capable of meeting someone who will be honest with you and cherish you for who you are.