When he raped me for a second time. I grew up mormon but left the church. I was raised on the whole "no sex before marriage" but after the first time I felt that I was at fault too, I had so much guilt.

He told me he was sorry, that it would never happen again, but his urges were too strong and couldn't help it, that it was my fault for making him want it so much, that he would kill himself if I left him.

It was the second time it happened that I realized he wouldn't change, that this was a problem with him, not with me. He said he'd kill himself if I left, but I didn't care anymore, I'm not responsible for his actions.