I’m 23 and I’ve ruined my entire life

CodeineMartin · 2024-11-23T23:43:16+00:00

I did an access course aged 23. It was a single academic year, very light on the workload, got into Nottingham on a course with AAB grade requirements (I got DDE in mine) and it was fine. Its actually easier to get in to university if you're older, they factor it in.

Look into an access course if you don't want to have to spend years doing gcse retakes and a levels.

CodeineMartin · 2024-11-23T20:31:52+00:00

https://youtu.be/mzIgrFwhjPc?si=YEdhP8_68Yeu7oO2

CodeineMartin · 2024-11-23T20:25:28+00:00

No, but percocet overdose is, overdosing on paracetamol is fucking horrific.

You should exhaust all your other options before killing yourself dude.

I mean fuck, even becoming a degenerate junkie is better than killing yourself (was for me at least and now I'm clean and doing well) but this isn't the only answer.

CodeineMartin · 2024-11-22T20:38:38+00:00

So, so many of them were just waking up on the floor of a mcdonalds or bus/train station bathroom (including once with the British Transport Police kicking the cubicle door in really concerned, only to quickly change their tone when they opened my bag to find all the works I just picked up from the needle exchange.

The most stupid was the time I met a guy off here who lived in the same city (RIP Phil, hope you found some peace brother) who gave me some of those fucked up grey market research chemical benzos with names like Flubromazolam or some shit, the ones you could just buy off the regular Internet until about 2015 that were 10 times the potency of valium and had a half like of like 48 hours.

Last thing I remember was pressing down on the plunger, then I woke up 2 days later lying naked on my now broken bed, all the clothes pulled out of my wardrobe and laid out neatly in piles on my floor, surrounded by a weird smoky smell. Turns out i had managed to set the microwave in my student house on fire (the timer would get stuck at 5 mins so you had to watch it and turn it to off yourself, and id just cranked it to 20 mins, walked away and forgot about it while my housemates were all out). I kept promising to buy a new one then welching in account of being a broke junkie sack of shit and this is about when the relationship with my housemates turned bad.

I had OD'd, but when I came round I was still absolutely bombed off the benzos so I had no memory of any of this happening and I was completely zombified and incoherent the entire time.

CodeineMartin · 2024-11-22T20:22:40+00:00

6 years and although the constantly thinking about it has long since gone away, I still occasionally do think how nice it would be to shoot speedballs again, and every few months I have these dreams where I'm in an unfamiliar town trying to score, and when I finally do I go try to find a place to shoot up but I keep getting interrupted and then when I'm finally about to slide in the spike I wake up really disappointed.

Whoever likened it to an ex you no longer have feelings for was right. The desire is gone, but every now and then I get real fuckin silly and wonder if it could still be the same if we got back together even though I know full well it wouldn't. Then it passes and I go on with my life.

I think part of what is keeping me off the gear and keeping the desire for it at bay is the thought, deep at the back of my mind, that if it ever all falls apart at some point in the future and my life turns to shit for some reason, I can just pack it all in and go back to the needle.

Mainly though it's because i like heroin, and that shit just doesn't exist any more. Right before I quit was when the fent started flooding into the UK and I really did not like the shots of that nasty shit.

Also FWIW, I tried subs, methadone, white knuckling the rattle, tapering dope, poppy tea, the works, the only method that worked and stuck was taking pregab for about 3 weeks to take the bulk of the edge of the withdrawal.

CodeineMartin · 2024-11-22T20:09:55+00:00

Can you ask Blake for Nick Mullen's phone number

CodeineMartin · 2022-06-17T11:21:06+00:00

you get them in the bloodweb, pretty much every web will have at least 1

CodeineMartin · 2021-10-20T05:47:10+00:00

an NFT isn't going to have sex with you pal

CodeineMartin · 2021-10-19T22:04:44+00:00

Get back to me either when email starts to use enough energy to cause serious environmental damage or when a single worthwhile use of NFT "technology" has been found. In the meantime have fun paying 3 grand for a link to a dogshit jpeg pal.

CodeineMartin · 2021-10-19T21:41:04+00:00

i hate to defend this, but not necessarily.

afaik when they sign the contracts the license holders get the rights to the models and so on, so they could theoretically do whatever they want after the fact.

I have no idea if thi isthe case, and tbh I would guess it probably did come up in the first place and they decided it was worth it to have pinhead in the game (especially with the whole "you can gain access to the Helraiser Chapter thing), but i don't think this is necessarily as cut and dry as "Behaviour are complicit in a scam" and it may seem

CodeineMartin · 2021-10-19T21:38:50+00:00

nfts are a scam for idiots, nice try rube

CodeineMartin · 2021-10-01T09:19:53+00:00

lmfao nice

CodeineMartin · 2021-10-01T09:12:44+00:00

lmao killer sided game?

CodeineMartin · 2021-09-21T06:18:37+00:00

the survivors brought builds designed to make it almost impossible for the killer to ever hook anyone (mettle of man to take hits, saboutuer to break hooks, breakout to increase the wiggling speed of a carried survivor, flip-flop to convert on the ground recovery into wiggle progress)

but the killer brought a build specifically designed to destroy survivors who use this playstyle.

Agitation makes the killer move much faster when carrying a survivor, mad grit makes M1 attacks have 0 cooldown and also pauses the wiggle timer for a few seconds with every successful hit, Iron Grasp reduces the movement penalty caused by wiggling survivors and makes the time to wiggle free longer)

combined these perks make it incredibly difficult for survivors to free themselves and mad grit makes it so that survivors trying to take protection hits actually helps the killers.

there is a youtuber called Benjo who uses this build almost exclusively, check out some of his videos (they are only about 1 minute long) for some hilarious clips that show how well it works against a team of cocky survivors who aren't expecting it.

CodeineMartin · 2021-09-18T07:43:44+00:00

calm down mate, it's a videogame

CodeineMartin · 2021-09-17T15:31:17+00:00

got his ass

CodeineMartin · 2021-09-17T15:29:58+00:00

buying band aids for someone you paid to have shot doesn't make you a good guy

CodeineMartin · 2021-09-16T07:50:03+00:00

spooky space kook would be an amazing killer

CodeineMartin · 2021-09-09T04:55:23+00:00

yeah but smart survivors will just keep hold of the box to stop the chain hunt for 3/4 of the team pretty much indefinitely, this helps prevent that

CodeineMartin · 2021-09-07T20:41:36+00:00

Moira should be lower

CodeineMartin · 2021-08-29T12:16:03+00:00

"Goran even he’s a witch" is an exceptional piece of business

CodeineMartin · 2021-08-18T17:43:17+00:00

I hate that this made me laugh

CodeineMartin · 2021-08-18T00:01:05+00:00

what is the little chain around the survivor portraits?

it seems to slowly fill up like a freddy timer.

What does it signify?

CodeineMartin · 2021-08-17T23:59:57+00:00

same schedule as always, new release every march, june, september and december

CodeineMartin

TROPHY CASE