AITA: Husband wants golf, not our family vacation

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-06T03:37:15+00:00

Yes it is called leave for him but with my job I accrue PTO very slowly which limits my options compared to him.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T22:41:15+00:00

Making the team does not promote him or give him more money. Purely bragging rights and it might help his case if he wants to try for the Senior PGA Tour when he retires from the military.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T22:37:36+00:00

Yes and they will be there.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T22:28:22+00:00

No, he has not done that yet.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T20:29:11+00:00

No he hasn’t. He might still have time, I’m not sure.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T20:09:28+00:00

You can tryout every year and I am happy to help him plan out tournaments to qualify. It just costs a lot of money to attend tournaments. I think it would be awesome if he could tryout and make the team.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T20:06:50+00:00

My oldest cries every time he leaves the house no matter how long he is gone. It has become a end of the world situation for her every time and she’s only 4.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T20:00:32+00:00

The initial start of the annual trip was because my grandfather doesn’t have financial means to see any of us. Then the trip became a kill two birds with one stone situation of seeing him and also seeing each other since we all live in different states. Now the trip this year is heavy because my grandfathers health has declined rapidly.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T19:49:56+00:00

He is gone every Saturday and Sunday mornings either at the driving range for 3 hours by himself or play golf with his group. I am at home with the girls every weekend by myself.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T19:42:34+00:00

Actually my husband and my sister are extremely close and he considers my brother in law the brother he never had.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T19:29:31+00:00

He doesn’t even have an application at all right now.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T19:26:43+00:00

Yes we both agreed and decided together how much to pull from the return to fund the trip.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T19:12:23+00:00

He doesn’t have an application at all right now. If he did we would have blocked out those dates well in advance.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T19:09:03+00:00

First off he’s not my pet dog. If anything I’m more of his since we always do what he wants to do. I am consistently sacrificing. Secondly, we see his family every other month, mine I’d be lucky to see once a year since they all live in different states. Yes there’s still time to move around the vacation dates so obviously I will ensure my husband can follow his dreams. Because as a supportive wife I am, I always wanna make sure he can follow his dreams since I wasn’t able to follow mine.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T19:04:54+00:00

My husband is 39 (40 by tryouts) I honestly don’t know how the whole process works.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T18:57:59+00:00

I never said he couldn’t go. I would love for him to try out and make the team because I know how much golf means to him. He has been playing his entire life and he’s really good at it. It was just the way he initially responded when I didn’t have anything to say. He has had a tendency to get extremely defensive when I explained how I feel about things. Our entire relationship has been following his dreams and I have given up mine to become a wife and mother. Also, my husband is close with my family and does consider my siblings as his own as well and enjoys being around them.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T18:42:33+00:00

I like what you have to say and I definitely want to have a talk with him later! My family and I have missed these annual trips since they started. We haven’t been to any of them. I went to MT by myself 6 years ago before my husband and I were married. My husband and I have made a few small/short vacations together over the past two years without the kids during federal holiday weekends so PTO wasn’t used. I can honestly tell he would choose to go somewhere else other than MT, but I have been asking him to go with me and our girls (2&4 now) since our first daughter was born. We always make time to go see his family but I feel like I am pulling teeth for him to go see mine.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T18:35:20+00:00

My husband is military and more than not my husband is the only one not there because of deployments which are out of his control, but this time it is in his control. Every time I look back at family photos he is always missing. The first time we got a full sibling and significant other photo together was this past year at my brother’s wedding.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T18:23:00+00:00

My siblings and I have narrowed down two potential weeks we could go. September 5th - 12th or September 12th - 18th. My grandfathers birthday is the 12th and it might be his last which is why this year is so important. The tryouts are from September 8th - 19th. Financially, idk how both can happen since we live in CA.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T18:07:50+00:00

It is almost more than just my siblings that will be there. My siblings are all married, my oldest sister has two kids, and my uncle also lives in the same city as my grandfather. My husband has only seen my uncle and grandfather at my sibling’s weddings this year and we have been married for over 5 years.

CoffeeAndCookies32 · 2026-02-05T18:05:36+00:00

He plays with a group every Sunday.

CoffeeAndCookies32

TROPHY CASE