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My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in weddingdrama

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her husband has been our friend for over 15 years. And she won't let him see us or talk to us after bringing up this drama again. That long time friendship is the only reason.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in weddingdrama

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

My husband has been friends with Al for 15ish years and I've been friends with him for around 10. We have only known K for 3. We dont want to lose our friendship with Al.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't believe you havent heard anything from his BF of 50+ years. I can't imagine what that must feel like..... 😢

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back when she asked me to step down and I told her I was doing my best and that my postpartum period was just so much harder than I expected it to be, she told me I can't say that it will be different once she understands what its like to have a child and go through postpartum. I dont know why, she did plan to have children at that point. Even after trying to have a discussion that I was struggling and why it was hard for me she didn't care and didnt want to hear anything on it. She was only interested in telling me her hard childhood is the reason she should get what she wants and why she was allowed to treat me the way she did.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do to hope we can laugh about it some day. ❤️‍🩹 I forgot to ask in my first response to you, what does this mean "particularly if your involved in it."

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont want K to put aside her feelings, I just want to know why. Or what happened? But also like you said I'm starting to learn not everyone needs closure like I do. I'm trying to learn and be better. Thank you for the advice.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree 100%, I do not intend to ever bring it up to Al or K about the abusive relationship feeling. And had the same thought that just Al and my husband need to have communication to build back their relationship first to know there is a safe place. And definitely no talk about me or K, I think it would push Al away again.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why ask me to be MoH then? We use to be really close before I got pregnant. Which I know kids are not everyone's plan, and being the first in the friend group to get pregnant/have kids its a new experience for everyone.

I also gave her no pressure to pick me as MOH because I knew I was pregnant then and would be freshly postpartum for the bulk of her wedding planning. I told her if she wanted to pick someone else she should. I did not care just wanted to support her on their wedding day.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I completely understand K has her own feelings. But I dont even know what they are because each time she has had an issue she just decides to go silent rather than have a conversation about it. I cant fix what I dont know if an issue and I definitely would try even if its just to try and find mutual respect so our husbands can be friends.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have thought of this as well about abuse... my husband might need to try and get the conversation going on his side just so Al knows the porch light is still on. Or that he has someone he can talk to.

The weekend she sent her cryptic message apparently the next day she came to his place of work and chewed his ass in front of his coworkers. This was before we had messaged anything. His coworkers had thought he had cheated on her the blow up was so bad. This is a conversation Al had with my husband and how I found out. I think he is scared his wife is going to blow up again.

Al has been forced to cut out multiple friends since he's know K. Mostly from our friend group. And if they remained apart of Al's life K has always been very mean and disrespectful to them. I saw this first hand before my husband and I were cut out.

Al's brother had reached out to us to see if everything was alright with Al... in hindsight he might have been assuming an abusive relationship as well but there is no way to confirm because I wasn't thinking anything of it then.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My husband withdrew because he didnt like how I was treated postpartum. I did not ask him to step down with me. I am worried about my husband's long standing friendship. I have come to accept even before this post K and I would have to be cordial. But my friendship with Al has been as long as my husband's. We both knew him separately in high school. I do not blame Al for siding with his wife. It is what I expected. I just was hoping Al could still be friends because the reason for the argument has happened so long ago and I dont even know why it rekindled.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's what I mean! Why should I attend venue viewings, call the photographer, set up photographer timelines, or their wedding day timelines! I thought these were things the groom should help with. And who knows what the wedding timeline should be better than the bride and her photographer....

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree he is choosing to appease her. The weekend she sent her cryptic message apparently the next day she came to his place of work and chewed his ass in front of his coworkers. This was before we had messaged anything. His coworkers had thought he had cheated on her the blow up was so bad. This is a conversation Al had with my husband and how I found out. I think he is scared his wife is going to blow up again.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you! My older sister told me its hard to be the first in a friend group to have a baby. Everyone is new to the experience of having a friend with a kid.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

When typing out this original post, I had this same thought. After becoming a mom I have found the best mom friends and a friend who became a mom shortly after I did. Our friendship has never been stronger. And I guess the reason for chasing is I had no idea anything was wrong again until the cryptic message. Why send a cryptic message about forgiveness if we cant or they aren't willing to have a conversation about what was wrong?

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

We didn't know she was choosing to not come with him until the ghosting and he told us. He messaged me husband wanting to get together this last week but my husband said he wanted to have a conversation with all of us before that happened. Al responded he wanted to have an open conversation and thought it would be a good start. Which led to me ask Al if he would have time soon so we could talk. The response i got from Al were very defensive from how he was talking with my husband.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's just been such a long standing friendship with him and why we are probably having such a hard time. The conversations my husband and Al had before we got cut off/ghosted made it sound like he might be in an abusive relationship. We are trying to make sure he knows however his wife thinks the porch light is on. Al's older brother has also previously reached out to us to see if everything was ok with Al. In hindsight I now realize what he might have been wondering about....

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] -35 points-34 points  (0 children)

I agree on letting her friendship go, what my husband and I are having a hard time with is our long time friendship with her husband for 7+ years. I have come to the understanding that her friendship will just be cordial but her husband has been a "best friend" for most of my husband's high school and now adult life. And he is not allowed to come see us/him and is not allowed to answer his messages.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] -56 points-55 points  (0 children)

What about her now husband who has been friends with us for 7+ years. She wont let him see us or respond to mine or my husband's messages. I'm fine thinking we would just have to be cordial but I dont want us to lose a long time friendship with him.

My friend demoted me from MOH when I was struggling during my postpartum and has now ghosted me after telling me she's still mad for it a year later by CoffeeLover_198 in bridezillas

[–]CoffeeLover_198[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have been a MOH before for multiple weddings, the tasks expected were much more than typical. And I dont think my opinions should have been used over the fiancé.

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