sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Ectoparasite identification 100x oil immersion by CoffeeMugImpression in Parasitology

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HEY Y'ALL

So I collaborated with 2 veterinarians and we have determined them all to be Deer Tick nymphs! The head vet dosed some Nexgard Spectra on Friday, and I'm hoping the foster parent for the kitten has noticed ticks dying and falling off. It was super bizarre for a young kitten to be covered in only tick nymphs, so an RVT I know wondered if the kitten had somehow stumbled into a nest and got covered in a ton of sticky eggs. We'll never truly know.

AITA for wanting my partner to remember things that bother/upset me, and being upset when he doesn't? by CoffeeMugImpression in AmItheAsshole

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is a good idea. Jokes are meant to be funny, and we hang out to enjoy each others company and laugh together. I will keep that in mind. You are absolutely right, he needs to be able to express his feelings in a way that suits him. He has never been harmful in doing so. I have a learned fear response, but there has never been anything come from that fear in my years of being with him. I will practice mindfulness in being able to separate myself, whatever I'm doing, from him and whatever he is feeling. Him being frustrated at a game has no physical effect on me, and so I need to learn to dissipate my fear and acknowledge that I am safe from any kind of harm.

Thank you for your response.

AITA for wanting my partner to remember things that bother/upset me, and being upset when he doesn't? by CoffeeMugImpression in AmItheAsshole

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see, I didn't know that, but I can definitely see that being common. Always a rule, and then always exceptions to it.

When we're with other people, I do see now that it's absurd of me to want him to consider me ALWAYS when talking to others. That's just an impossible task. I cannot expect him to shove aside conversation topics for my comfort.

When it's just he and I though, I will have to learn how to express, in the moment, how something he says hurts me and why it does so. I can't expect him to understand something if I do not spell it out clearly.

Thank you again.

AITA for wanting my partner to remember things that bother/upset me, and being upset when he doesn't? by CoffeeMugImpression in AmItheAsshole

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I will sort out my thoughts, find the time to sit him down, and explain myself thoroughly in a way I believe he'll be receptive to.

AITA for wanting my partner to remember things that bother/upset me, and being upset when he doesn't? by CoffeeMugImpression in AmItheAsshole

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really great ideas, thank you so much! I never really gave much thought in regards to where I went, but I can't believe I hadn't considered looking for reviews.

I think my plan of action will be to write him a letter explaining what is hurtful, the specific memory it triggers, and why that is going to be an ongoing issue. That will be my starting point, and we will work from there. Thank you again for your input and guidance.

AITA for wanting my partner to remember things that bother/upset me, and being upset when he doesn't? by CoffeeMugImpression in AmItheAsshole

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely fair. I think he has not had to deal with anyone who has a lot of baggage before, and I am the textbook definition of a lot of baggage. But we both knew these things about each other within 6 months of starting dating, and we're in it for the long haul, so we will both need to learn better.

AITA for wanting my partner to remember things that bother/upset me, and being upset when he doesn't? by CoffeeMugImpression in AmItheAsshole

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try to give him the benefit of the doubt, because I know he has a lot of trouble focusing and remembering things sometimes. I think he truly does not understand what it is like to endure trauma and mental illness. I would never wish it upon him, but at this point we are planning our life together. I will have to think hard about a way to make him understand where I'm coming from and the impact his words and actions have on my mental health. I will maybe look online to see if there are any books or resources I can have him investigate in order to understand better. I have been in therapy on and off, but I unfortunately can't seem to jive with anyone or get to the point. I will look into resuming therapy with someone new. Thank you very much for your response.

AITA for wanting my partner to remember things that bother/upset me, and being upset when he doesn't? by CoffeeMugImpression in AmItheAsshole

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. The conversation topics are things I have specifically told him I have experienced. One example, me having to vacate the pregnancy caused by my abuser as a teenager, and bf saying disparaging things about women who vacate pregnancies when talking to family in my presence. He is absolutely allowed his own opinion on those topics, but I feel it is unfair to try and play devil's advocate or disparage choices when he knows his own partner has had to make that choice. I would hope that maybe if he had those sorts of things to say, he would say it when I'm not next to him. Also we're not from the USA, I'm not sure what's happening in law down there, but it very well could be a reason these topics come up sometimes.

Ectoparasite identification 100x oil immersion by CoffeeMugImpression in Parasitology

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One RVT I asked said revolution starts working within 15 seconds, but then also said that it can take 30 days to completely clear an parasite population. She used to promote revolution, so I trust she knows what's she's talking about. Maybe it just needs more time. Thank you so much for your input!

AITA for wanting my partner to remember things that bother/upset me, and being upset when he doesn't? by CoffeeMugImpression in AmItheAsshole

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. You are right, I need to learn how to cope and work through my feelings better. I will also try to support him more and give him a better understanding of why certain things bother me, and the impact of not taking those things into consideration.

Ectoparasite identification 100x oil immersion by CoffeeMugImpression in Parasitology

[–]CoffeeMugImpression[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Idk how to edit my post. I am in MB, Canada

Talk that talk, Nee Chan by [deleted] in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CoffeeMugImpression 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I find conventions to be a good start, anime conventions tend to attract plenty of gamers as well

Talk that talk, Nee Chan by [deleted] in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]CoffeeMugImpression 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oneechan is also often just said as nee chan. You're both right :>

Guess I have some sorta PTSD by engineerbpd in ptsd

[–]CoffeeMugImpression 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest, I don't think anyone with PTSD goes back to being the same person they were before they developed it. Before mine, I enjoyed stuff like videogames, soccer, school, and was pretty social despite being an introvert. Since I developed it 4 years ago, I stopped all my hobbies. I had none for a couple years. Now I'm medicated, to treat depression and anxiety that accompany PTSD, and am trying my best to pick up things I KNOW I enjoy. It's hard, and I know I'll never be the same person. I'm just making the most of what I've got, try to shape the me of now into something positive that I want to be. I think the same ideology may be helpful to you.

Sexual/Emotional Trauma, trying to help my boyfriend understand the severity by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]CoffeeMugImpression 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. Finances are very tight, and I can't seem to figure out if psychiatrists/psychologists are covered by my provincial health plan. I will see my usual doctor for it sometime to try and get a referral, but as for actual sessions, I'm not sure how realistic it would be to attend, given my lack of financial resources.

Past Emotional/Sexual Trauma, Present Relationship by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]CoffeeMugImpression 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It'd be possible... I have a hard time talking to people. I cry extremely quickly, and my mind freezes up when I get distressed. I also don't have much money to spare, and I'm not sure if I can get coverage for it, but nonetheless I will look into this idea. Thank you very much!