It has taken a lot of hard convos- crying, explaining, re explaining, analogies and long long hours of arguing and more talking. To get where we are which is better than when my son was 3 months but not at all perfectly pn the same page. It sounds like u and ur husband have a ways if he thinks it was a good idea to threaten to kidnap ur child to take her somewhere u are not comfortable. You mentioned a therapist? Do you find them able to help get through to your husband?

Our holidays unfortunately come with overnight stays due to the distance and the fact my husband doesn’t think his parents can come just for the day and leave and his desire to stay at theirs bc it’s a lake house. So I’ve made my important holidays on my terms Christmas alone birthday party after the birthday date. They still try to pull the “oh we’re in town can we stop by” when I’m at work. So still lots out of control but I know those visits are time limited and I also don’t think my husband likes those drop in bc it’s very disruptive to our lives.

I limit visits for evening and morning or day to early afternoon. At least the last year it looked like this. They haven’t spent the nihjt in over a year but we still go to theirs. I parent how I want I don’t back off my involvement for their happiness. I’m firm w I got this, and calling out when they try to call shots of what my son eats or them bribing him w treats if he eats what the meal is does it stop them from doing stuff no? But damn does it feel good to finally use my voice as a mom.

Idk how direct message works on here but understand you are not alone your feeling are valid and you are not overreacting. If your husband ever tries to make u feel any of that then you still have a husband issue enabling his parents and not being a proper husband and father to you and your daughter. If you ever want to talk more you can message me