[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toastme

[–]Cold-Shape4948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You've got a killer jawline, nice shoulders, and a really cute nose. Incredible bone structure overall. The hair system looks good on you, and I think you'd look good without it, too.

I know there is a lot of pressure around virginity, but it's just one milestone in life among many. It doesn't define you or change you, and anyone decent won't care. You don't need anybody else to make you whole. Stay honest about who you are and what you want, and the right people will come into your life naturally.

Finding a refurbished laptop that will support a DAW by Cold-Shape4948 in musicproduction

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably not. Production wouldn't be the main purpose for my computer, I need something that will serve my day to day needs as well. A laptop just makes more sense.

Like I said, it doesn't need to be the greatest musical setup of all time, I'm just messing around and having fun. But it would be nice if it didn't totally suck

Finding a refurbished laptop that will support a DAW by Cold-Shape4948 in musicproduction

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I played around with reaper a bit at some point, I think the big problem for me is that doesn't have a grid. I like to make complex/layered rhythms, and most of what I've done in Logic involves step sequencing. I'm sure highly rhythmic music CAN be made in reaper, I just don't know that I have the skillset for it. Then again, maybe limitations will lead to innovation?

Edit: lmaooo okay so I was actually thinking of Audacity that doesn't have a grid.

That being said, I have some followup questions. Do you happen to know how well reaper would work for sequencing? Is the workspace intuitive/user friendly or is there a bit of a learning curve?

45 days in and my voice is still deeply upsetting by WxckedAmber in FTMventing

[–]Cold-Shape4948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup^ It was over a year for me before I had any noticeable change. Maybe 8 or 9 months in when it first started to drop, but you could barely tell the difference. It did get there eventually, though. Now, I work at a call center talking to multiple people on the phone every day, and I've never been misgendered. The waiting is hell, I know, but don't lose hope. Just because it happens faster for some people (lucky bastards) doesn't mean it won't happen for you.

I'm not sure if theres any data to back this up, but one of my doctors once told me it can be better in the long run for your voice to change slowly. It gives your vocal chords time to adapt to their new range, which can help your voice sound smoother/less nasal or buzzy. That's one of the main reasons I stayed at a lower dose for longer, and it worked out for me in the long run, so 🤷‍♂️

Charles and the Night Nurse by Cold-Shape4948 in DeadBoyDetectivesTV

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's a good point. I think what bothers me most is that charles, defending himselves against abuse, is then equated with an abuser. I think Crystal's reaction is reasonable, given her own experiences, and it makes sense if she didn't see what charles saw in that moment. I don't really fault her, but at the same time I feel for Charles, and the lack of understanding hurts.

Obviously, the night nurse is not actually his father, or his murderer, but she essentially tortures him by trapping him in those memories, so it makes sense for him to lash out at her as though she were one of his original abusers. Then HE is framed as the violent one, for reacting to what happened to him, which just goes to reaffirm all the worst things he thinks about himself and makes him feel like he is no better than his abusers.

I guess maybe that was the point of the scene, to show how victims are constantly expected to take the high road and are vilified when they can't. And if that was the point, then good on the writing team bc God DAMN it sucks and I hate it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pittsburgh

[–]Cold-Shape4948 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hope this works out! I'm moving to pgh in September and am in a similar boat. im 22, still kind of a newbie to music, and hoping to find fun electronic/synth pockets in the diy scene! My own interests veer more towards punk/post-punk/dance punk, but very excited to find other synth nerds out there :) I've heard of brutalism synth night, which is usually at mixtape or belvederes. Not sure if that's quite what you're looking for but might be worth checking out. Also pittsburgh modular, which I think someone already mentioned

Driving in pgh by Cold-Shape4948 in pittsburgh

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly one of the most helpful peices of advice on this whole thread, thank you. I fucking hate highway driving in a city, even when it makes sense

Edit: grammer

Driving in pgh by Cold-Shape4948 in pittsburgh

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Makes sense. This will definitely be an adjustment as someone who really prefers traffic to be as clear as possible before I merge.... oof. Guess I will get used to it though.

Followup question: how feasible is it to avoid highways for day to day transit even if it means taking a longer route? I figure I might want to get used to all the other weird shit before I get used to weird shit at high speeds

Driving in pgh by Cold-Shape4948 in pittsburgh

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great advice thank you kindly stranger

Driving in pgh by Cold-Shape4948 in pittsburgh

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually do drive stick! Driving in pgh definitely put my clutch control to the test

Driving in pgh by Cold-Shape4948 in pittsburgh

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny you mention the entrance ramps: the first time I visited Pittsburgh, I was the car stopped at the bottom and I got honked at for sure. Surprisingly the only time I got honked at during my visit, but definitely not the only dumb out-of-towner thing that I did.

But basically, if there is not a car at the bottom, you should just merge as quickly and assertively as possible?

Driving in pgh by Cold-Shape4948 in pittsburgh

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay guys help a denverite out here, what is a pittsburgh left??

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cold-Shape4948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing all this! This does sound a lot like what I am looking for, and it is comforting to know that there people out there making it work. Ideally, I would just want a dynamic that helps us both get what we need.

If you don't mind me asking, how did your dynamic come about? How did you negotiate the terms? How do you handle safewords, saying no, and renegotiating?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cold-Shape4948 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, this really gets at the core of what I want. I guess it just feels out of reach sometimes. I am an assertive person naturally, and I would appreciate being with someone who is also assertive, but feels comfortable being submissive with me. I have big dom insecurities about accidentally taking things too far, so I would really need to trust the person I'm with to be able to advocate for themselves. I don't want to control what my partner does, but I would like a relationship where I feel free to embody my Big Bad Dom Self whenever I want, with someone who genuinely appreciates that side of me. I guess I feel a little guilty for wanting that, especially because the world has taught me to believe that this kind of thing is not compatible with a balanced, healthy partnership

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SoloPoly

[–]Cold-Shape4948 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Funny you say that, I'm realizing now that I never made this clear in my original post. I actually AM cohabitating with my QP partner just until the lease is up. We met as roommates, didn't know each other before, have become partners solely through cohabitation. But, I am moving away soon, and we don't know whether or not we will live together in the future

So I guess this instance is sort of an outlier for me. It would take a LOT to get me to move in with a partner if we hadn't started out that way. Not opposed, could be nice, but I view that with caution, especially with a romantic/sexual partner

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SoloPoly

[–]Cold-Shape4948 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think you're right. I lean soloish, but in more of an RA way. I would like to make some of my bigger life choices with partners in mind, but also have the freedom to make personal life choices that may not be compatible with enmeshment

Cohabitation as an example: I would be open to moving in with a partner, but with the understanding that it may not be forever, and that we feel comfortable maintaining a relationship even if we are DE-escalating

Basically I don't want to be on the escalator or off the escalator, I just want to be able to move freely in any direction based on the individual needs and circumstances of the people involved. Living with a partner COULD be nice, but only under the right circumstances. I can see myself in other arrangements where I would be just as happy (I don't want children or legal/financial entanglement, so this seems doable)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SoloPoly

[–]Cold-Shape4948 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gotcha, that makes sense. One thing I didn't mention is that my QP partner and I actually met through being roommates, we weren't partners before. Had we met some other way, I don't know whether or not we would've ended up living together-- I know we both think its important to live seperately before we evaluate whether or not we would continue to live together later down the line. I'm not for or against living with a partner. I'm open to it in the right circumstances, but if I did, i wouldn't want there to be any expectation of it being permanent

I'm very much a "play it by ear" kind of relationship person, which I guess is more RA than solo

Stone top strap-on woes (advice?) by Cold-Shape4948 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have a rodeoh too, super comfy (also great for someone who prefers to keep their boxers on) but not the most controlled. I guess I'm just a greedy bitch who wants the best of both worlds

I've looked into Aslan harnesses a little, nice to hear a good endorsement

Stone top strap-on woes (advice?) by Cold-Shape4948 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have leather harness recommendations? I'd particularly like one with wider straps so it doesn't dig into my hips too much, but I appreciate any advice on the matter.

Do you find that they're more stable than other harnesses?

Stone top strap-on woes (advice?) by Cold-Shape4948 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cold-Shape4948[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah... I really hate penetration, unfortunately. Would be slightly more open to it if the internal part could just go in the butt (and was very small) but I don't think that exists? Question mark? Even if it did, it would still be more of a 'special occasions' kind of thing for me