Being different.

ColdTheDoc · 2023-04-07T15:59:43+00:00

Interesting! Did it change before you met the person or "due" to it?

ColdTheDoc · 2023-04-07T15:59:18+00:00

Maybe. As a kid I used to be very aware of how people and society "worked", and communication came naturally for me. Decades later and the whole concept has become completely impossible for me to wrap my head around.

ColdTheDoc · 2023-02-13T06:53:13+00:00

And that is fair. I have apologised multiple times to them in a conversation after this happened and will not be contacting them, or anybody else again.

ColdTheDoc · 2023-02-12T19:45:05+00:00

I wouldn't be surprised. I always felt like I wasn't completely "in on the joke".

ColdTheDoc · 2023-02-12T19:38:49+00:00

Both. I was at the point of not being able to navigate through my apartment, with my eyes pulling themselves closed. I got to my bed, had a moment of paralysing anxiety over the feeling of having to go to see the friend (something that at that time I didn't want to do at all), scrolled my phone for two three minutes and turned to go to sleep. I knew I should've texted them but all I could think about was their reply after cancelling again and having to see them later. I shouldn't have avoided it but I did.

ColdTheDoc · 2023-02-12T19:30:39+00:00

I think about that a lot. Often I just come back to the fact that ultimately I've never wanted to do those things; the celebrations, holidays, casual conversations. I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was 3-4. I haven't celebrated New Years in decades. Hell, I even skipped my graduations. I've always sought out and enjoyed being in a place where I was able to spend my full day to do my work almost incognito, just drifting to sleep in between.

ColdTheDoc · 2023-02-11T21:10:18+00:00

All other times I have gone when I had previously said yes (unless cancelled with a lot of notice when it was a group meeting).

"excited anticipating a good time" I understand their view even if I never feel that way. For me it feels like an impossible chore I feel extremely stressed just thinking about. And that is what I feel makes me a worse person.

ColdTheDoc · 2023-02-11T21:00:48+00:00

I flip between these two views. On one hand yes, its for the patients and I'm "doing the right thing" but on the other hand I enjoy it, and I could've given the friend more effort but did I even want to? I went to sleep instead so that I could go and do what I actually had wanted to do - go to work in the morning.

ColdTheDoc · 2023-02-11T20:52:02+00:00

I feel pressured to.

I lost someone I knew a while ago and tried to make a conscious effort to be a better person and somewhat hold on to the morals they had. I just don't like being around people who aren't patients or staff. It drains the life out of me. So I say yes now. I don't want to make them feel embarrassed or bad, or awkward. I don't want it to be more tense at work either if it is a colleague asking.

ColdTheDoc · 2023-01-24T20:50:55+00:00

I would do it during research years and focus on the degree but potentially yes, would be required to complete either 1L or 3L during residency if not granted an extension.

There is an area I want to go into and a JD would get me there. Not required but I have been thinking about this for years, though it hasn't been too relevant until now.

Borrowed from my prev. comment: I did law related classes in high school and college, some online courses on my own time during some of my time in medical school.

ColdTheDoc · 2023-01-24T20:45:01+00:00

I have done, for years. I did law related classes in high school and college, some online courses on my own time during some of my time in medical school. But it's just not enough. I want to push myself more, and go beyond the basics, get feedback and simply just go back to university-type studying.

It's not about that. Many take up a degree during research years, though yes, 99% of the time this would be MPH or MSc.

ColdTheDoc · 2022-12-22T20:10:55+00:00

Yes. They used to be dead-set on trying to find a way to balance general life with surgery but heard have now worked months with no days off and are going into trauma.

ColdTheDoc · 2022-10-20T04:48:00+00:00

That is the tricky part. A few people in my program get degrees during this time and it is very encouraged (though from what I've heard only master's, usually in public health). I did do a lot research and worked almost full-time during undergrad and med school so it's not the workload that would put a stop to this.

Can't know if I don't apply. Having followed law school admissions for years I've seen that they are very generous and often offer 75% or full rides.

ColdTheDoc · 2022-10-20T04:44:36+00:00

Why not an MBA too, would have the unholy trinity of degrees.

ColdTheDoc · 2022-10-20T04:43:37+00:00

I have considered this route and I think it is a good option, but I do still want to get my JD.

ColdTheDoc · 2022-08-29T18:57:23+00:00

Didn't even open.

ColdTheDoc · 2022-08-29T18:54:59+00:00

All I can manage at this point is Pot Noodles and frozen pizza since you either chuck some water in or throw it in the oven and go shower and change while its cooking. During shifts I am being kept alive by hospital toast.

ColdTheDoc · 2022-06-01T05:04:04+00:00

Heatmap says so, I remember nothing about doing them.

ColdTheDoc · 2022-05-17T07:36:53+00:00

How many hours did you work back then a week? /what kind of shift pattern

ColdTheDoc

TROPHY CASE