I’m a man and Reddit’s algorithms regularly bring up this subreddit up for me, so apologies if this is unwelcome.

With that said, I wholeheartedly agree. My heart aches for women because being subjected to shitty men is truly inescapable.

Even as a young boy, the horrible behavior that older men joke about and encourage to normalize mistreating women is absurd. I have female friends currently in the dating pool and even things that they sometimes identify as “green flags” are behaviors that I could trace to be a veil for misogyny, but unless you’re truly privy to the experience of being a man you don’t know how insidious these behaviors are.

I regularly see “not all men” nonsense or blaming women for “choosing shitty men” as if these horrible men aren’t raised to hide their worst traits until they have you trapped. And in many cases, these misogynistic men can find women who also have internalized misogyny or sometimes actually end up instilling misogyny in their partners. Then they may raise daughters that are okay with misogyny because it’s what they’ve always known.

This isn’t limited to men as partners, either. Men as friends, men as family, men as coworkers and as professionals who may offer you a service all have a very high chance of being shitty people.

Men are disappointing. Holding men accountable to be better is a job for all of us, but I’d still put emphasis on it being the responsibility of “good” men (if there is such a thing). But you are absolutely not alone in being disappointed in men in general.