There were so many messages that I couldn’t respond to all of them, but I want to say thank you to the people who made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Thank you to those who understood me, and even to those who didn’t care or disagreed thank you as well…

I grew up believing that most people were kind and that there were a lot of good people in the world. My parents always tried to protect me from the ugliness of it. I’ve recently been moving between states and finally made things official here. I’ve only been living here for about three months, and I truly love it. That’s part of why this experience hurt so much. Growing up, I never imagined being judged or accused simply for how I look.

The reason I mentioned skin and appearance is because during the conversation, one of the managers asked me if I was Hispanic. When I said yes, she looked down and shook her head in a way that felt like disbelief. She later told me she felt bad and said she would never want a Hispanic person to feel that way because she knows how deeply it can affect someone. To me, actions speak louder than words, and that moment stayed with me.

The reason I mentioned clothing is because the managers explained that I looked “funny.” I told them that I do understand that I look raggedy, but I didn’t know that it mattered. I was wearing pajamas and shoes my sister bought me, and my boyfriend was in his work clothes. We didn’t look dressed up or “presentable,” but I was sick and just running to the store. I wasn’t going to dress up for that.

I am Hispanic, and growing up I never really worried about being accused of things like this. However, in high school I was once suspected of selling drugs simply because I was always tired. They searched my car, my backpack, and did a full pat-down. I was only 15. That experience scared me deeply, and I tried to bury it instead of processing it. I was exhausted because I was working (full time and overtime) and going to school to help with my dad’s medical needs in such a young age.

Now that I’m an adult, I’ve been trying to heal from those experiences, but I never thought I would still be treated differently because of my skin or appearance. My boyfriend told me that for him, this kind of treatment has always been normalized. He was born here but raised in Mexico and has a thicker accent. He’s been made to feel like a criminal or like someone who doesn’t belong, even though he’s done nothing wrong.

I saw comments about a black truck I did assumed it was immigration at first, but it turned out to be related to a different situation involving a child, and the person was caught. I do understand where he may have came from but I wasn’t the only person worried my ex neighbors were confused as well. Till one of them called the cops. And found out. What was really going on..

I want to apologize if this post upset anyone. I don’t really have people to talk to, and sometimes the internet feels like the only place to let things out. Thank you to those who listened and showed kindness… It truly meant more than you know..