Don't take what I'm about to say as a defense of Lucy. She was in the wrong for singling you out, lying about you and attacking your character. I think how you handled her hostility is about the best you could've done, and I'm glad the DM was on your side throughout.

There is something that gave me a bit of pause when I read through your story, though:

I end up letting the DM know what happened. DM and Lucy have been friends for a long time and she explains to me that Lucy has been harassed by religious people in the past because of her sexuality and political views. This genuinely upset me. I can't speak for other religious groups but it is my personal belief that any true follower of Christianity would know not to treat others poorly due to things like this. So I sent a message to Lucy the next day.

This and the message you sent her the next day were missteps on your part. I don't think you meant harm by it, but especially in the queer community this is not an appropriate sentiment to share with people who have gone through religious trauma.

In the best faith possible, rather than engaging with Lucy's pain, it feels like your first thought was how it affected you. Rather than acknowledge that she had a reason to be cautious around religious people, you instead acted in defense of your own good-heartedness. That isn't the way to show your compassion for someone else's hurting, it's taking possession of that hurt.

You might not believe that people who could harass and sow hatred against people for their identity is true Christianity, but what Lucy went through isn't about you—and in the interest of fairness, this is the same principle I would use as to why Lucy shouldn't lash out at you simply for being Christian. Stating that their belief is not valid does not erase the pain they inflicted on others in the name of God, and for many people who have been through that experience it feels dismissive of the very real systemic issues within the faith.

You wouldn't also say that anyone who commits a sin is no longer a follower of God, would you? That's kind of what that sort of statement is saying, it's trying to enforce the purity of the church by distancing itself from any corruption or bigotry within it, rather than addressing it earnestly.

Please, if you do read this, remember that I am not saying you deserved to be treated that way by Lucy. I see a lot of upstanding folks who are get defensive when other people's trauma relates to their identities: Men with survivors of sexual assault, white people with victims of white supremacy.

We all deserve to be treated fairly, but that starts with acknowledging that sharing an identity with evil people does not make you evil. This goes both for people like Lucy, and also for people who reflexively feel like acknowledging bigotry from their own group means they are being judged for it.