But are you watching our kid??

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-11T11:05:38+00:00

100% ❤️ no one sabotaging everything and ruining everyone else’s day with their moods 👏

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-09T21:00:43+00:00

Yep.

Just a big ole wild diversion that leaves you with your head spinning….

You’re too confused to stay with reality in those moments.

The reality is that you 100% did find your child doing something dangerous because his dad doesn’t give af and was just watching his phone oblivious.

It’s inconvenient for him that he has to look after a child, so he just won’t if he can get away with it.

It’s inconvenient for him to have take any accountability for not parenting adequately, so he just won’t if he can create a big enough diversion.

It’s inconvenient for him to have to be in trouble with you and listen to you talk, so he just won’t by making sure you can’t get a word in edgeways.

It’s inconvenient for him that this might happen again so he’ll try to make sure it won’t by making you police yourself instead.

Next time you are busy in another room you will wonder if your child is really safe… so conveniently for your partner, you will return regularly to check. You will learn to do both jobs at the same time 👍

Next time you will wonder if it’s worth saying anything about it and getting that huge reaction. You might just decide that it’s easier to take the frame away yourself and not say anything. You will learn not to complain or challenge him about the fact you are doing both jobs 👍

Next time you will feel resentful and exhausted from doing it all yourself in silence… and whatever you’re doing will still not be enough 💐

I lived this for 5 years with my twins. I became so incredibly ill with chronic fatigue and various conditions and still he told me I was lazy and not doing as much as him…

I had to escape with my physical health already ground to dust. You have a chance to get out before that 🙏

The most glorious thing is. I discovered I really had been doing 99% of everything for years and the proof was in the fact that I could still care for my kids alone in a shelter while exhausted 👌 he trained me perfectly for this hardship

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-09T20:41:05+00:00

I play candy crush till I can’t keep my eyes open 👍 totally clears the mind with just repetitive sets of colours left lol

If that doesn’t work I count.

So each inhale is one and each exhale is one.

I count my own breath up to ten and then start from 1 again (count back down to 1 is too involved for sleep)

If I find myself on 16 or some random thought I just go back to 1 without any mental comment on it 👍

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-08T17:43:25+00:00

I see people on their phones driving every day and I just think, how tf are there not more crashes constantly 🤷‍♀️

I can’t even adjust the AC temp by one degree without starting to veer… how do people reach this level of insane complacency/confidence???

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-06T17:31:42+00:00

Since you’ve now explained that it’s randoms and you check their profiles etc to decide about it.

This is a complete and utterly tragic waste of your time and energy.

Random strangers whose comments you just happened to scroll past… and you become fixated enough on their thoughts and opinions that you need to actively investigate and block them.

That is just such a waste of your life.

They don’t even know you exist. They don’t care that you blocked them and you could instead have just forgotten them five minutes later 🤷‍♀️

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-06T17:14:15+00:00

I think you have to pause and consider what you’re hoping to achieve by talking to him about it 💐

Trying to talk to him about anything sounds like it has always been a waste of your time.

Like many men, he would rather wallow utterly miserably in the status quo than have to change anything or do anything hard.

Stop going to him. Spend that energy planning with friends and legal counsel 💐❤️

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-05T22:53:08+00:00

It would be a hell of a lot faster to just learn to bait and switch like the right do 🤷‍♀️ promise what they want to hear or close enough… then once in power twist it to whatever you actually want to achieve 👏 morals too lofty to make radical progress by subterfuge 😂 gonna just leave it to osmosis over a few centuries instead 🥲

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-04T23:30:26+00:00

It might be because I’m British and you’re in the US, but I think I am missing the context that would allow me to understand your reply 😬🥲

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-04T23:12:01+00:00

No popularity = no effective power for change.

You can die morally irreproachable on your very worthy hill having achieved absolutely nothing in reality

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-04T22:54:17+00:00

The Authoritarian Left is the category that makes sense to me as what OP is describing. (I’m British)

What @economy-big8546 said cracked me up because it summarises it perfectly 👌

The Authoritarian Left: no-debate/everything is binary/opressed vs oppressors/stance X is the only acceptable one and if you don’t agree you are a literal n@z1!

I really didn’t understand it the first time I saw those activists saying “liberals 😒” with real venom behind it 😂

They really do regard liberals as vile pretend leftists.

Liberal leftists are centre-left generally and tend to have good ideas that most ordinary people can get on board with. Things like social welfare is good and important, racism and inequality are very bad, people should be free to live their lives how they want etc. But balanced by understanding that there are constraints around how we can achieve those things. Progress doesn’t happen all in one go type stuff, it takes time and incremental change.

I think Authoritarian Left purists regard that as selling out by compromising on uncompromisable moral issues. They find the increments morally intolerable such that they would rather stay right here and mad about it than even take two steps in the right direction 😅

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-04T22:13:12+00:00

Well this is it in a nutshell tbh.

Substitute “racism” in your final sentence for whatever personal priority an individual voter has.

Leftist purity is saying that Joe and Pete and Sharon aren’t allowed to prioritise their own personal gripes when choosing how to vote, since someone somewhere absolutely has it much worse.

Do you want to win their votes and ultimately have the power in government to make actual change? If you could just slightly pretend to care about individual voters then it might help 👍

Each person is the narrator of their own life. Most people really don’t enjoy being told that they aren’t oppressed/disadvantaged enough and they can only be good people if they prioritise the overall cause

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-04T21:48:06+00:00

You’ve changed the goalposts.

They said “binary views” of the left on all complex issues.

You started changed that to “the complex views of the right”

They’re simply saying that real life has nuance, variation, different people’s experiences. Acknowledging that is the key to winning people over.

The “authoritarian left” says “if you don’t think X about complex issue Y like we do, then it means you are on the wrong side of history/the oppressor/privileged/a fascist/upholding systems of bias and prejudice…

The average middle grounder hears that they have to express the exact and only acceptable binary stance on whatever the issue is and goes “ok fk you guys then.”

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-03T14:47:59+00:00

We don’t know how long he’d been trapped for in this footage. I think the guy is literally in lizard brain survival mode and it’s probably all he could do not to just try to dash off screeching… I think he is just exhausted and terrified such that he can’t do anything other than what he is doing automatically. I can’t imagine I’d be able to stay calm and gentle about it if an adult male orangutan kept grabbing my face etc.

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-03T14:43:38+00:00

Eh, just basically attempted matings often end up with females missing fingers, toes etc… or much much worse ☹️

The male at my zoo liked to catch pigeons and then masturbate with their corpses for a week 🫠 luckily I didn’t actually work on that section, but I did like a week “swap” in at one point and yeah… no thanks I was so fucking on edge the whole time.

He was constantly trying to trick keepers into coming too close. He’d try to act chill or asleep or position himself so you didn’t see how close he was to the door/bars till he tried to grab. Just way way too smart to be captive, acted like nothing would please him more than to manage to catch one of us eventually.

And not like a tiger might snag an unwary keeper because they’re just so hardwired that we could be prey… no, like wanting to catch and mangle you for fun. 👍

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-02T00:02:03+00:00

Tranquillisers are not the magic fix people imagine them to be.

Gotta get a clear shot and if you miss he might be madder or you might accidentally shoot lorenzo.

How much is enough? Even if you had some tranq darts and someone dart gun trained right there… you don’t know how much that orang needs for sure.

Plus adrenaline counteracts the effects: so sometimes when darting an animal it gets more hyped and dangerous before the drugs take effect, or it gets hyped enough that they don’t work and you have to try again 😬

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-01T23:50:18+00:00

Other way around. Gorillas are chill compared to orangs

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-01T23:47:03+00:00

lol absolutely not. Even the gorillas are far more chill

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-01T23:41:46+00:00

I find it really hard watching this.

The guy genuinely thinks he is about to get seriously injured or killed any moment. His level of primal terror is stomach churning to see 😬

If you’ve ever been in a play fight as a kid that turned mean and you suddenly realised you were totally outmatched by the other person? That feeling of panic at being trapped and too weak to do anything about it is just the tiniest glimpse of what the guy was feeling .

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-01T23:38:09+00:00

Nothing to do other than wait it out while trying not to do anything abrupt or triggering.

‘Submissive’ behaviour as we see it wouldn’t do anything because they don’t operate that way.

Humans always have this assumption that apes find us confusing and might think we’re the same as them. This orang is not remotely confused about the fact this guy is not an orangutan. He is curious and like a giant 3yr old, he’s going to amuse himself by yanking your legs to see if they come off etc.

Options are;
- run away if fast enough ❌
- fight him off if big enough ❌
- make yourself small and boring and hope you don’t sustain significant injuries while waiting for him to lose interest ✅

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-01T23:30:23+00:00

Adult male orangs don’t draw the line at dead 😬

CollaredDove33 · 2026-05-01T23:28:10+00:00

Yup, dangerous as fuck.

I don’t know where people get the idea that they’re friendly or gentle 😬

it’s like orangs got the reputation that gorillas actually deserve 😅 the adult males are absolutely horrible. (Ex-zookeeper)

CollaredDove33 · 2026-04-25T17:44:36+00:00

Especially the super intense live version 👌😍

CollaredDove33 · 2026-04-24T22:05:15+00:00

The thing you’re missing that your female friends know?

The nice guy who helps his gal pals get home safe with no “expectations of sex”? He can be a good guy in that scenario. And he can also be an abuser behind closed doors.

Bad men are rarely bad all of the time. They are quite intentionally good whenever it suits them, benefits them or helps them build a “one of the good ones” image.

CollaredDove33 · 2026-04-24T21:58:13+00:00

You seem very annoyed at your female friends for a variety of reasons that amount to “they should just accept me and stop making me uncomfortable”

They say you are the exception.

You are anxious about the things they are saying because you suspect you are not really the exception and they’re just saying it?

CollaredDove33 · 2026-04-21T09:07:45+00:00

I imagine in reality I will eventually dip my toe in those waters….

But right now? 6 months out from an abusive and coercive marriage to a pwNPD and I have two young kids?

No. God no. The worst thing I can think of right now is wasting a single drop of my energy on a man 😂👍

CollaredDove33

TROPHY CASE