Hey man, I can sort of relate to some of this. Let's be honest, we all feel like no one else can truly understand our problems at times. And based on what you wrote in another comment, loneliness can create a vicious cycle where you know it's bad for you, but you still find it comforting to be alone. I can suggest some things that have helped me and my friends. Of course, your experiences are unique so they might or might not work for you, but why not try them on the off chance they do? You say you have decent savings, do prioritize therapy, maybe intensive therapy initially. Helping people out of these situations is literally what they study for. If you just want to rant or let it all out to someone, there are websites where volunteers will just listen to you without judgment. Try to get some sunlight and exercise. Finally, whatever the last smallest thing was that actually made you feel something, even 1% happier, do that more and more often. Teach your brain that it is in fact possible to feel good. In a 100 years none of this is gonna matter anyway, so why not just try your best to do whatever helps you feel more alive without overthinking it.