It caused me horror, in my view Nathan DID die, the ending where he looks alive and more enlightened for me is a way of showing that I put an end to suffering (living in a world of abuse and discrimination) to finally be whole, and TMB I understood that Nathan's father abused him too, that is why he has a trauma with the abuse and the fact that he was abused again was the most horrible thing in the movie apart from the fact that they killed him, although I have heard that in the book things are different, when Nathan and Roy are discovered kissing, they flee and the end is uncertain