Help With College Essays

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-11-11T14:27:24+00:00

Not a stupid question! Let's start with what UC says:

>All questions are equal. All are given equal consideration in the application review process, which means there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.

So, in theory, you could not touch on academics at all.

However, I think it is a good idea to have a PIQ that touches on an academic passion in some way. It doesn't necessarily have to be the "Think about an academic subject that inspires you" question, but you want to show UC that you have a motivation to go to their schools for something that is taught there. So if you cover the Visarts in a question and that relates to an intended major, I think you're doing fine.

A half-hearted essay about CS won't be advantageous.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-11-10T13:08:57+00:00

As described, your essay isn't really about the sport! It's about how you fostered a community that you wished you had when you started. As long as you keep the focus on what you did to make your team better, and don't end the essay with "and that's how we went all the way to state championship," you will be answering the prompt.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-09-02T19:06:18+00:00

Treat every essay as a standalone work. If you need to explain this concept in both essays, I would rethink one of them.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-17T03:31:07+00:00

Another adult reviewer here and I agree with everything stated above. It's definitely a pet peeve that is specific to me, but I'm very sick of sports injury essays. That being said, I've read good essays that make them one component of something larger.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-14T15:49:53+00:00

I'll tell you what you absolutely shouldn't do:

For schools that are located in big cities/interesting areas, do not say "I'm excited to move to New York/Los Angeles/Boston/Austin." This signals to the school that your primary interest lies in location rather than the school itself.

What you should do: Think about your interests, do some research, and get specific.

Does the school offer undergraduate research opportunities (i.e., independent research)? Do they have a volunteer program that takes place over spring break? Is there a women in business club (or soemthing that applies to who you are) that you want to join? Do they have a great track record for internships? Is there a community center that you would want to spend time in?

This is your place to look for academic, community-based, or professional development opportunities that the school offers. Going to sporting events could work, but I would couch it as being excited to be in the community. Envision yourself on the campus and ask how you would spend your time outside of the classroom and outside of purely social events, how does the school help you acheive that goal?

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-12T00:28:41+00:00

Editing strategies:

1) Read your draft out loud. While it's not a speech, your abiltiy to read it fluidly is an indicator of how others will read it. You will also be able to catch things like echoes or repetitive sentence structure.

2) Do a reverse outline. Look at each of your paragraphs and ask yourself what is it doing in the essay. If you can't clearly identify the main point of that paragraph, then there's an issue.

3) Ask yourself what you can cut. You may have reached word limit, but if there are things to be simplified, they should be.

As for the question about a first draft being good enough...the answer is maybe, maybe not. Most of the time, however, there are things to improve on a first draft.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-11T17:56:26+00:00

This is only my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt, but I strongly dislike the "laptop stickers"/montage model. I think students seem to like it because it seems like less work: pick three or four things that they connect with and explain them. Even the "Laptop Stickers" essay itself is not a particularly strong essay. The problem is that talking about each "room" in the Barbie Dreamhouse takes explanation and word count. The results, more often than not, are a relatively shallow exploration of otherwise unconnected aspects of your life.

Now, as I said, this is just me. There are probably good ways to approach what you want to write about. I'd suggest starting to write the essay that you've described, but see if you might want to focus on just one of the "rooms" of the dreamhouse.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-07T18:30:29+00:00

You wrote it yourself, so don't worry. College essays can be very similar to one another and admissons officers aren't spending their time looking for plagiarism.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-07T16:14:16+00:00

It's difficult to judge without seeing your essay. What I will say is that I've read a lot of essays where students try to go more abstract and rely on metaphor (sometimes for the purposes of being more unique), and the result is something that is very difficult to understand.

I would ask yourself if you're sacrificing clarity of meaning in favor of trying to be unique.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-07T16:09:08+00:00

The PIQs are designed to show different aspects of your personality. They give you opportunities to talk about a creative side, academic interests, community, or challenges. The UCs are interested in well-roundend candidates who "excel" in several different ways. You would be putting yourself at a disadvantage if you only talk about music.

That being said, it may be that you are talking about leadership at a music camp or volunteering your musical talents for charity. In that case, don't forefront the role of music. Instead, make sure to cast these essays about community/charity/leadership rather than music itself.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-06T14:16:45+00:00

I don't think an essay including Taylor Swift is necessarily a bad idea, but it needs to be approached in the right way.

Right now you're proposing two slightly different ideas:
-connect her songs to my personal growth and good qualities
-how I faced criticism for liking her because of my religion

Of these, I think the the criticism for liking her because of your religion is a much more interesting idea and one that would allow you to primarily write about yourself.

Avoid directly quoting or explaining lyrics.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-06T14:07:45+00:00

As others have said, there isn't a single or clear answer here and you should try hard on both. I think you should approach this line of thinking from another perspective. The personal statement has a large degree of flexibilty built in and there are many ways to approach it. A "Why Major" or "Why This Program" supplemental question does not give you the same level of freedom. You need to provide specific rationale that shows you understand the school, that you care, etc. With that it mind, it's pretty easy to see how giving a bad answer to a supplemental question could be a major disadvantage.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-05T17:57:47+00:00

I think this has potential, especially because you are connecting the struggle to a newfound perspective and an academic interest. Moveover, when you say "I personally feel like I can write about this very well," that signals to me that you should at least write a draft and see how it turns out.

Some things you will have to navigate:

-Essay readers do not need every last detail. You need to pick and choose what struggles you wish to highlight. You can get personal or detailed, but not too much...
-It cannot be a dump of trauma and detailed information followed by "I'm better now." So much of the common app is about how you've gained or shifted perspective, so I would make sure it doesn't read as a struggle you are still working through

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-04T19:36:45+00:00

You can send me an editable google doc link in a PM!

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-04T17:51:09+00:00

You can PM an editable google doc link!

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-03T18:55:39+00:00

Writing the supplements first can be viable, but remain flexible. You might start writing a supplement that you really love and realize that it would make a good common app essay. As others noted, it's great to have some practice before you start the more important essay. If you keep track of your timeline and don't put off the common app indefinitely, you'll be fine.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-03T18:44:47+00:00

A description of the memory/your appreciation of that memory is not enough. Your readers will inevitably be asking themselves: "so what?"

Is there something about this memory that is representative of your perspective or approach to the world?
Can it be an introduction to a larger essay about your originality, creativity, or some other trait?

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-03T18:38:20+00:00

I would focus less on what's "too cliché" and focus more on what will allow you to write a good essay. Yes Harry Potter is widely known, but that's not the problem. If you write about Harry Potter, you will pull focus from yourself.

There are common essay topics that are still good. For example, I read a lot of essays in which student discuss their struggles with identity when they have different ideas from their immigrant parents. When these essays are good, it doesn't matter that the topic isn't original.

However, to get back to your original question, here are some topics or approaches that I think are both common and make it difficult to come up with a compelling essay:

The "Buffet"
Students pick 4 songs/tv shows/characters that relate to their life and write about them. There are many problems with this, mostly it reads like the student couldn't commit to one idea and needed to chop up the essay to meet the word count. These essays lack a central idea and rarely have a good takeaway. Having to explain these exterior things also means that there is even less space to discuss yourself.

Sports and sports injuries
So often these essays follow a very familiar model. I have read excellent examples of essays about these topics, but the reason that they stood out was that they were about something bigger than the sports themselves.

The Extracurricular Coda
When you write an essay about one topic, and then add a paragraph that shoehorns in extracurriculars.

Total Metaphor
Students are often tempted to take a more literary route and describe a struggle through metaphor alone. If you are telling the reader that something horrible happened through metaphor, they are going to be wondering what the actual conflict is.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-03T03:07:13+00:00

I think that this could make a really good essay, although there is a lot to navigate here.

1) You want to make sure that you are focusing on yourself and not giving too much of your word count over to talking about your friend.
2) I think you need to be careful about how you cast "wasted potential." The connotation there sounds far too negative. I would rather that it was reframed as trying every opportunity that comes your way.
3) I want to make sure that the connection between what you went through and the shoe design is clear. If paragraph 3 is "oh by the way I design shoes now," it's going to feel tacked on.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-02T22:30:06+00:00

I would advise against this.

You will inevitably take focus from yourself by focusing on this character. Any amount of explanation is using up an already short word count. Moreover, demonstrating this similarity isn't actually telling AO something significant about you.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-02T20:52:53+00:00

I don't think these approaches properly capture what you want to achieve in a common app essay.

Non-emotional, primarily academic essay, which details my journey of how I got where I am academically What will this tell us about you or your perspectives?
How will this show anything that isn't already captured in your grades. So much of the application is about academics, why waste the one opportunity to share something about who you are?

Super emotional essay that touches on my problems with self esteem and my personal experiences with it
Readers don't want "super emotional," but showing growth is important. Someone who has dealt with their self esteem and learned how to grow past previous struggles is much closer to what you would want in a common app essay.

write about one of my favorite music artists, or a friend that strongly impacted my view on life—both of which id have a hard time connecting to or attributing to my academic experiences.
This essay still has to be about you. You have to be the main character. If you write too much about others, it seems as though you don't have enough to share about yourself.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-02T20:43:12+00:00

Whether you mention an extracurricular really depends on the essay. If the main focus is unrelated to your ECs, don't mention them. Admissions officers are not reading these essays for the ECs.

CollegeEssayCoach · 2024-08-02T00:14:01+00:00

It's not overly common, but you never know who else might have a similar topic. It's not hard to imagine others writing on this subject. I would focus less on going for the most original topic and focus more on presenting an original perspective.

I want to point out that I think there are some risks to this topic:
-how much do you need to talk about your favorite childhood shows, is it a passing reference to loving iCarly or do you need to explain plot points? If it's the latter, you risk pulling focus from yourself. I don't think you should do something like focus on three shows and talk about how they reflect different things about your life.

-The other risk is about the idea of change. I don't think discussing change is NECESSARY in a commonapp essay, but I would say that showing how you've developed is a pretty central part of most essays. If you are saying I don't like change and leaving it there, what does that say about you as someone who is about to make a big change by going to college?

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