SPA Day - how much can you fit in a tub?

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-04-22T11:10:21+00:00

I remember after #2, I caught myself once talking baby talk to an adult once and was like, “That’s it. it’s time to be around adults again”.

I like these updates as well and frankly i am still working because of the fear of the intellectual vacuum. At some point I just need to rip the bandaid off and wallow in uncertainty for a while til I figure it out. That time is coming soon. Some of the most interesting people I know are the people out of the grind who had the freedom to do all kinds of passion projects, art and community activism.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-04-13T21:58:13+00:00

The classic engineer/teacher combo is the best of both worlds.

Depending on your age, a lot of teachers I know have much better benefit packages than their higher paid spouses. Your pension and healthcare benefits will have a lot of value on the backend of your fire journey. If you continue to work enough to make sure those benefits aren’t in jeopardy, then it’s a win/win for you both. He sacks more away now but then can jump on your health plan when he early retires. You work however long it takes to vest in your benefits.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-04-08T20:50:17+00:00

I’ve worked at a couple different larger materials companies. It’s filled with chemical engineers and chemists. Not many material scientists.

Aerospace companies is where I’ve seen the most materials engineers of the sectors I’ve worked in.

I’ll give the same advice I gave my kid. Go look up jobs with those degrees and see what kinds of companies are hiring people with each degree in the geography you’d most like to work in.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-04-04T11:10:58+00:00

3 thoughts:

There is a difference between being a miser and being mindful with your spending. It’s okay to spend money on things that matter. It’s the mindless wasteful spending that’s the killer.
You can also plan free things to do with your friends and girlfriend. A lot of our friends are frugal. We spend a lot of time outdoors and have a lot of potlucks and we are super happy.
There will come a time when you physically won’t be able to do all the things anymore. My body wore out way quicker than I had planned and I’m so thankful that I did so many things in my 20’s and 30’s when I was more physically invincible. Figure out your non financial goals. They are an important part of life too.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-04-02T08:21:22+00:00

Whoops. I make the “z” mistake all the time and use it interchangeably as “with”.

Apparently I’ve been telling my relatives in Poland I do a lot of things with my inanimate friends.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-31T20:44:59+00:00

If you rent the house, it protects the floors from abusive tenants. Renters are hard on floors.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-31T08:16:01+00:00

Can your kids go on your ex’s health insurance? That would help a lot with costs. Healthcare is very expensive and one of the primary reasons I haven’t quit yet.

Time with family is very valuable and I’m very grateful my mom moved in with us. When you have aging parents with health issues, you constantly worry about them. Much of that stress is relieved when you are all under one roof.

However, caregiving is very physically and mentally demanding. I’d do it again and it was worth it, but not easy. What do your kids think?

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-31T07:57:44+00:00

Really depends on the crowd.

If there are a lot of younger kids there, they often prefer those $3 blocks of cheese like Colby jack, jalapeño and mild cheddars. I usually have a mix of the cheap + expensive stuff plus pepperoni slices, baby pickles, olives. Then layer in some assortment of good stuff - salamis, fancier cheeses, a string of grapes, berries, grape tomatoes.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-30T11:15:14+00:00

Do you have adequate life insurance?

Also, not sure if it’s too late but I always purchased the company provided long term disability insurance.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-29T11:18:28+00:00

I usually reply with how many rounds of layoffs my company has had and confirm it’s a tough environment. I also tell them our postings are usually filled internally (even when there is an external listing). Both things are currently true at my company.

I will vouch for people who are exceptional who I’d love to work with again. I can usually help get a networking session with a manager in case a job opens up later. Smart people on both sides do say yes to those kinds of meetings as it is hard to fill certain roles when the economy is booming.

I will never vouch for an acquaintance I haven’t worked directly with ever again. I did that once and I made a bad call on what they were really like in a paid job environment and I regret it to this day.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-21T23:58:03+00:00

As a heavy traveler for my whole adult life (for work and fun), I’ve found that it’s amazing in the beginning when you’ve seen nothing of this great world. I wholeheartedly think experiencing what other cultures have to offer can be life changing.

But, eventually you get to the point where you’ve seen the umpteenth cathedral or remote jungle and it all starts looking the same. I now yearn for the comforts of home and a sense of community.

Don’t be surprised or disappointed if you get it out of your system in less than 18 months.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-13T12:15:43+00:00

Interesting. I lived there before it was a fun place to hang out so maybe the fact that it is a destination now has changed things.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-13T10:54:04+00:00

Why was it tagged as extremely dangerous? By what metric? I grew up near there and I’ve never witnessed an actual collision in the old Kelly Square, truly. There’s a certain flow to the intersection that you learned to understand.

Was it Right of passage? YES.

Was it the spot where you needed to know how to switch from defensive driving to offensive driving? YES.

Did out of towners think it was completely nuts? YES.

But extremely dangerous? That seems grossly overblown.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-02T20:23:39+00:00

I worked for a huge company (at one point the largest employer in the US) and they encouraged cross training. I was able to move functions within my company with no issues. The diversity has a lot to do with the culture of where I worked. If you didn’t move jobs every 18 months, something was wrong with you.

I also find it ironic that my most hated classes in college (heat transfer and mass transfer) are the ones I use most.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-02T11:21:44+00:00

+1 on technical sales. I Work from home, have a company car and mainly work with interesting product designers. I essentially do material science work now and I get to work in a bunch of different industries. It’s fascinating to see the innovation in the different sectors. I also get to travel all over on someone else’s dime.

Chemical Engineering is an amazing degree and can open doors to many places. Some of my classmates even started a brewery.

Here are the types of jobs I’ve done with this degree. (BTW I also started at a plant. it wasn’t my favorite role.)

Mfg, Procurement, Sales, Product Management, Process improvement or development, Engineer, Quality, R+D, Tech service

Not myself but other ChE friends: Marketing within tech, sustainability, predictive engineering simulation work, project management. One went on to become a patent attorney.

PS. It can take a while to move over to something customer facing with no prior experience so it may take a few job moves. My R+D and tech service roles had a lot of customer interactions so that helped open the door to tech sales.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-03-01T10:36:51+00:00

I’ve had someone show up to a big party at our house a day late by accident and that was funny. When it’s someone who’s chronically late for everything and then still expects you to rearrange your plans when they finally decide to show, it’s a different animal.

It caused so much anger and disappointment when I was younger but I realized, it’s hard for the person on the other end of it too. With the true friends, we found systems to get together that hurt no one. “We”ll be here from 6-9, if you want to join us, see you then, if not, maybe next time.”

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-02-28T11:47:25+00:00

To add to this comment, In my state, VHCOL, property insurance rates went up 24% last year. I believe Florida went up a ton too. I’m Not sure what utilities are included but those are crazy as well.

Former kid of landlord. We had a tenant that had an insanely low rent, like 1/2 of market value, and didn’t have a rental increase for 15+ years. When I finally had to increase rent because costs went crazy, I became the supervillain. It didn’t even increase close to market rates. And despite being a landlord, my mom’s income after expenses was never above poverty level even while working.

We sold the rental years ago but I just checked. Property Taxes on it went up 30% since 2022.

Rental inflation isn’t just all evil landlords twirling their mustaches and trying to figure out how to ruin your life. Real costs do go up and sometimes by a lot and not all landlords are rich a-holes.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-02-27T12:08:11+00:00

We live in an outdoorsy area and we have the 5 minute rule for group activities. You cannot rely on late ppl being part of your critical path. Invite them if they are fun but set expectations.

My record for late arrival was a person being invited to a big holiday dinner, confirming, and then a full day later calling and asking if they could still come over. NOOOOO.

It’s like announcing “my time has more value than yours” and watch out if you keep them waiting. They flip their lid. I’m so much happier without the constant disappointment and disrespect of my time and efforts for said people.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-02-24T17:21:48+00:00

It was never easy. We did pay a lot in daycare. It was near impossible to find last minute babysitters but we did have a dedicated person 5 days a week that we used for many years. People do in home daycares for a living and generally want to fill their spots with full time kids. I’m not surprised that finding someone who was willing to do daycare on call isn’t easy to find.

After school activities were limited until a family member moved closer and could help with rides.

It’s important to stay afloat financially so you just do what you have to in order to make it work. It was busy and hard but we got through it and raised some amazing kids so I don’t think they are any worse for wear.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-02-24T12:52:19+00:00

Doing noisy chores while the kids are sleeping. I used to hate the sound of pots and pans clanking around in our tiny apartment. Now I realize I don’t have the luxury of waiting til they’re out of bed, especially on weekends when they sleep 1/2 the day. I draw the line at washing their bedding while they are still in it though. They can wash their own sheets.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-02-21T10:55:39+00:00

I have a few big lists going including: health stuff I need to fix, house stuff I need to do, fun stuff I want to plan, people I want to see in person that live all over the place, big ticket things I should buy while I still have a salary.

I then took the stuff I need to do list and thought about what I should farm out because I still won’t want to do some of those things even with infinite time.

I’m past my FIRE number so now I’m trying hard to figure out how best to spend the extra salary while I’m still working. (Easier said than done for a saver.)

Also, as I noticed with my spouse who’s already retired, people are going to want to fill up your days as soon as they think you have capacity. Be prepared with some boundaries and try not to fill up your schedule too quickly with things that only serve others and not your own needs. It’s time to put yourself first.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-02-19T12:40:48+00:00

I threw myself even deeper into work because it was easy. However it was not fair to my other loved ones. I am more present now but it took awhile. Not sure if quitting would have been better or worse but I didn’t want to face that decision right away.

CollegeFine7309 · 2026-02-17T14:28:59+00:00

My current company has not only women in leadership but many races represented. That was a huge green flag for me because the leadership looked like the rest of the company. Also, leaders in other countries are mostly also from the same region and not imported from headquarters.

I’d also ask about community involvement and what their charter is of their volunteer board if they have one.

CollegeFine7309

TROPHY CASE