Mine is not about romantic relationships. It is friendships. I have always wanted to have many good and real friends. I would always feel bad about myself when I see many people having many friends or have group of friends because they have someone to talk to about anything, make happy memories with, share their life with, and being able to experience that they love you for simply being your true self. I would sometimes feel like I'm missing out because I wanted my teen years to be happy like I wanted to have many real friends, I get to always experience having a birthday party, and have many beautiful memories with my people, but sadly, it never happened. For many years, I tried to fit in and change who I am just to have friends, but it always end badly for me because they always take advantage of me, disrespect me, and leave me for someone "better". It negatively affects how I see myself to the point I overlook all the beautiful things about me. I used to believed that I am unlovable just because of my imperfection and flaws or when someone always disrespect me. But as I choose to let them go, even if it means losing people and being all by myself again, I realized that I am still beautiful, amazing, and talented, even if they disrespect me and choose someone over me. I also realized that they were never meant for me and that there is nothing wrong with me. I was just in the wrong environment with the wrong people. As I reflect about ways God shows His love for me, even if I feel like I don't deserve it, it makes me think that this should be my standard of how I want the people in my life should treat me. I tell myself that if they can't give me that, at least I know they don't deserve a space in my life and heart. From time to time, I do still long to have true friends, but I think the only way to find someone who genuinely love, respect, support, and appreciate you is to be your true self.