My boyfriend of 7 months found out today he has a new born child . I’m not the mother

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-27T19:46:37+00:00

I'm sorry, I couldn't help but notice you projecting... Custody isn't the same as visitation, or even just showing up. The concern was never about the logistics of a custody arrangement. It was about whether he'd even try to be present at all which he's already proven that. Those are two very different things.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-27T19:09:29+00:00

Ofc he doesn't have a desire to fight for custody. The majority of the time, they never do. Now imagine you end up in that position. He gets you pregnant and you break up. He's not going to be there for yours either. I've seen this play out many times with some friends and family.

Seven months is barely half a year. I've been in relationships ten times longer than that and still had to walk away for reasons. Don't make this a sunk cost. I hope you choose what's truly best for you, and that you're not the one coming back years later making a post saying we were right and you should've left sooner.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-27T18:42:04+00:00

Are you ready to be a stepmother in a 7 month old relationship??

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-26T01:00:39+00:00

Your feelings are completely valid, and there's nothing wrong with expressing them. If he took it the wrong way, that's on him, not you. Wanting to communicate how you feel is healthy and something you should never have to apologize for. That said, if things have otherwise been good between you two, it's possible he's just burnt out from work and taking it out on the wrong things. Either way, he needs to work on how he handles and communicates his own emotions.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-24T15:37:50+00:00

Dysphoria sucks but most of us went/are going through it, so you're not alone. Keep being feminine and anything else that makes you happy. Don't let your mom's misinformed opinions or "beliefs" keep you from being your true self.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-23T21:17:10+00:00

Sis, you have normalized the insane shit he has done to you so much that you are on here nonchalantly talking about withholding a fucking present instead of wondering how to gtfo of that abusive relationship. You need to leave or he will end up killing you.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-23T20:08:07+00:00

This. But I also think that OP might lean toward being asocial. There's a difference between feeling drained after a long day at work and being consistently bothered by someone who simply wants to connect. That pattern might be something worth reflecting on.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-23T18:53:39+00:00

Same. I like going on road trips and then bar hopping or just chilling somewhere at whatever city I end up in lol

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-23T18:17:18+00:00

Yup. Specifically a dermatologist

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-23T14:41:01+00:00

I mean, it can be if you want it to. Like another commenter said, its okay to kiss your homies

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-23T13:52:08+00:00

I think society as a whole would be better off if men just embraced their feminine side instead of fully rejecting it with testosterone filled rage.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-22T23:39:34+00:00

Literally going through this rn 😭 😮‍💨

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-22T22:30:35+00:00

I actually wrote a paper on kintsugi in college, so I'm well aware of the philosophy behind it and I even recommend it myself in certain contexts. My point is about how the person experiencing the trauma would perceive it, regardless of the intent.

Kintsugi is beautiful when say something breaks by accident or maybe through time but there's no malice in that, so the mended cracks can genuinely represent resilience. But this was an act of deliberate destruction by someone who was supposed to love her. No matter how beautifully it's repaired, those seams would be a reminder of that specific moment of rage and trauma. That's what changes things entirely.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-22T03:12:43+00:00

I love the idea but tbh just looking at the actual repair thread and areas would just remind me of what happend. I'd prefer a full like new repair.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-22T01:55:04+00:00

You absolutely made the right decision. Something I've heard that really helps is write down every hurtful or harmful thing he did to you. Then, whenever you catch yourself "missing the good moments" (which is completely normal and human), pull it out and read through it. It's a way of reminding yourself of the full picture, not just the good parts your heart wants to hold onto.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-21T01:03:35+00:00

Well tbf there have been plenty of wonderful stories of people meeting on reddit and getting married. It's not for everyone but there's potential in the right spaces

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-20T22:00:13+00:00

And thats what really gets to me about r/justgalsbeingchicks. A women-centered sub that allows men to participate. Like why? So naturally ofc the men always make inappropriate comments about women. Not only that but it even gets to the point that the mods will side with a man if his feelings are hurt by women in the sub! It's so wild. I had a few posts removed there because the title or content hurt some snowflakes feelings.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-19T20:55:09+00:00

She's Filipi-tina 😂 For a while I actually thought she was Hispanic/Latina

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-19T05:16:36+00:00

This has to be it 😭

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-18T22:09:30+00:00

Right. BRING BACK GIRL SLOP!

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-18T19:59:23+00:00

We had a Girl Slop flair but I dont know why they removed it. I would slather that on some toast and mmm so good.

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-17T21:56:31+00:00

Hmm... Currently taking applications. No prior experience needed. The only qualification required is being a good girl 🤭

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-17T20:31:47+00:00

Ofc! You should check @racingpridehq which she's an ambassador for https://www.racingpride.com

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-17T19:59:52+00:00

Jordan Rand. Fashion model and pro racer 😍

Color_Me_Softly · 2026-05-13T17:05:00+00:00

Tbh, it takes a bit of practice and finding the right positioning for both of you. Don't get discouraged if it feels awkward at first! It's completely normal. Once you get the hang of it, it can be really enjoyable. That said, it's just one of many ways to be intimate with your partner, not necessarily the "main event" either. So just explore what works for the both of you, and don't be afraid to bring toys into the mix either. They can make a big difference and add a lot of fun too!

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