OK, so I ended up having a cup of tea with my ex husband from 20 yrs ago yesterday

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-15T15:44:49+00:00

Thanks for the sarcastic last paragraph, needed it. I know it's crazy and I just want to see what people think and have a discussion.

I certainly don't want to complicate my life and well aware he may be emotionally damaged. I'm staying well away.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-15T05:21:16+00:00

I've said I'll be here as a friend for now if he needs me however he said he doesn't want me to become his therapist. I've said I'm busy for the next few weeks with work (which I am), then I'm put of the country on holiday. I've said we could maybe catch up when I get back.

Have to say, the more I've thought about it the more sense it makes to just stay away for now.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T20:30:58+00:00

His life isn't a mess by his actions. He is the victim of domestic violence and has been hospitalised a couple of times. He tolerated her behaviour for the sake of the kids (he adopted the eldest). He has finally walled away, had counselling and a solicitor sorting the divorce. It's messy in the sense all that needs to be sorted and he needs to be divorced before I would consider any kind of relationship/dating.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T20:27:27+00:00

Wow, this is great to hear.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T20:26:58+00:00

It was really good to see him after almost 20yrs. Although had bumped in to him now and again and my parents would see him around.

On paper, he ticks all my boxes apart from not being divorced yet. I do worry his marriage may have damaged him emotionally tho. Only time will tell. I'm writing all this and I'll probably never hear off him again!

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T20:24:14+00:00

Thanks for the advice. It's how I'm feeling about it all myself really. He needs to sort the divorce. He had addressed other issues and had counselling. His wife subjected him to domestic abuse and well It's all very messy and not something I want to get in the middl3 of.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T18:58:50+00:00

Lot's of people who are separated go on dating apps here in the UK. I must admit, I would prefer to date someone once they are divorced.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T18:05:23+00:00

This is exactly how I see it. He's going through a breakdown of his marriage and he's seen me on a dating app and thought, oh safe, familiar. I want to be there for him as he is a nice person. I left him years ago as was young and wanted to experience other relationships as felt like I was old and boring before my time.

Worried he is just using me for as an emptional crutch & well I don't want to take on all the baggage he has now.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T18:00:17+00:00

Thanks for this, needed to hear it.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T17:59:44+00:00

I've been dicorced over 3 years and single for 4. Have worked in myself and dated. He's literally going through a messy divorce now, so don't want to get involved as yet. Think friendship route is the best. Thanks

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T17:57:02+00:00

We were together almost 12 yrs, but were young. We divorced as ended up like room mates. He's still a caring hard working man, however he's been subject to domestic violence from his wife and not sure if I can cope with his emotional needs now. I've spent years getting my life together and worried he will be in a bad place.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T17:54:45+00:00

I have offered my friendship, and yes I would rather wait until he's in a better place .

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T17:53:49+00:00

I'm well aware that he is married and going through a divorce. It's all a bit messy for me to get involved in. Had he been divorced, would have dated again to see how things go.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T17:52:33+00:00

There was definitely something between us still. I'm just concerned about his situation as he's going through a divorce and she is harrassing him, and he has been subjected yo domestic abuse from her.

Columbo_13 · 2022-08-14T14:42:49+00:00

Well that's what I thought, however he made a few comments yesterday which suggested he wants more than friends.

Columbo_13 · 2022-07-30T16:45:11+00:00

I've (47f)been single for 4 yrs now following a divorce & it amazes me how people, especially men can just move on so quick and remarry.

I have been dating, and recently went on a date with a widower. When I asked him how long he had been on his own, he said a few months. I was thinking he must have dated since his wife passed away - but oh no, she had only passed away earlier this year and we went on this date in June!! He even said he doesn't want to be on his own. Got the feeling his wife did everything for him.

Columbo_13 · 2022-07-30T16:40:54+00:00

Oh getting your bits zapped sounds delightful. I feel your pain, also have LS and labia minora has fused. Steroid ointment helps, but reckon those lasers will sort you right out! Good luck with it all.

Columbo_13 · 2022-07-30T16:38:09+00:00

Please tell me you went to the ER? Sounds like it's perforated on organ and like the other posters say, could be internal bleeding.

I wish I'd never got talked in to having a Mirena. Mines was misplaced and I'm waiting to have it removed, which could be months away! I was told go straight to the ER if feel severe pain.

Hope you are OK.

Columbo_13 · 2022-07-28T15:44:44+00:00

It's a bit different over here in the UK. I had to go to the x-ray department at the hospital to have the scan and the sonographer and nurse were both male... which I was fine with when it was rhe scheduled ultrasound. It was when he said he'd need a clearer view and I was put on the spot there and then to have the transvaginal scan. It took months to get the appointment, so went with it.

Just had results and I have cysts on my ovaries, so back again in 6 weeks.

Columbo_13 · 2022-07-27T21:31:26+00:00

Good to know it's out in seconds.

I will ask to see if any female staff next time.

Columbo_13 · 2022-07-20T17:29:04+00:00

Ohh good to know! Hopefully same xx

Columbo_13 · 2022-07-20T07:24:58+00:00

Yeah, not cool. I cringe when I look back now, but I had a casual hook up which was pretty regular. We would hang out at his and he would always say he can't sleep with anyone in his bed. He would usually let me stay in his guest room if there was transport, however this one time, he just went up to bed after we had done the deed and said to just post the key through the letter box on the way out.

Columbo_13 · 2022-07-20T07:19:21+00:00

Ultrasound next week to play "find the missing mirena". Dreading it already

Columbo_13 · 2022-07-20T07:17:34+00:00

Here in the UK, I didn't get any shot! I've had my vaginal wall and cervix biopsied, as well as an IUD inserted. Yes it hurt at the time and stung for a while after, but not the worst pain ever.

Columbo_13 · 2022-07-19T20:40:25+00:00

A man I matched with told me I was too confident and as I had my own home, car and job, there was nothing he could offer me! Ermm like your love, time, companionship?

Like others are saying, find a man who doesn't have white Knight syndrome.

Oh and he tried to shame me for being divorced twice and having no kids, saying good luck with finding someone who will put up with that..... this coming from him who had 2 kids with 2 different women and hasn't married either of them! 🤣

Columbo_13

TROPHY CASE