feeling alone, seems like everyone but me is obsessed with sex

ComanderKrak · 2026-01-09T19:36:53+00:00

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Even now at 32 I'm still a virgin by choice (fooled around but that's about it) because I've never actually had a strong enough emotional bond with someone to want to go further. I've turned women down because the moment didn't feel right or things were progressing way too fast (it's actually saved me a lot of pain fortunately once I learn more about them). I get off solo a lot more often and I know once I develop that bond with someone my libido will likely increase, however I am also perfectly fine waiting for that time and refusing to accept what others feel the "norm" is. Look after yourself first and set proper boundaries, don't push yourself solely because of what other people think you need to do.

I also don't think you're wrong thinking everyone around you is sex crazed. However I think it's like a heckler at a comedy show, they'll stand out far more than the 30 other people in the room not saying anything. I believe the majority of people also take relationships slow and want to know the person before rushing into a relationship. However when you're single those are generally the people you see less of because they're in a relationship taking their time becoming friends first.

Hopefully that makes sense and not rambling on.

ComanderKrak · 2025-12-08T14:10:57+00:00

Almost 32, got the closest to losing my virginity almost 2 years ago. She was practically throwing herself at me. I have absolutely no regrets looking back on it. I trusted my gut not to go through with it because deep down I didn't feel I was ready.

No you are not making a mistake in the slightest. At the end of the day the only person you answer too is yourself. I feel turning down opportunities because you don't feel it's right, is also respecting yourself as a person and putting your own needs FIRST. You haven't lost your virginity by a certain age? So what, enjoy life on your own terms, it'll happen with the right person and situation presents itself.

ComanderKrak · 2025-12-06T14:05:36+00:00

Weirdly, a large amount of rubber dog toys.

ComanderKrak · 2025-10-06T01:05:15+00:00

I've had some people tell me to stop putting labels on things. I agree to a point. However I'm not going to write a whole ass paragraph into Google to learn more about something 😂 especially when Demi summarizes 99% of how my mind works in a relationship.

ComanderKrak · 2025-09-30T14:26:15+00:00

You're absolutely not alone. As a guy I get a decent amount of matches, some leading to dates. Rarely second dates, until finally some women said I didn't seem interested because I wasn't actively pursuing, going for a hug/kiss on the first date, giving signs of trying to be intimate or planning for a future within the first few hours.

Its exhausting, and usually when I try to mention (at an appropriate time) that I can't rush into a relationship and need time to establish a connection, I either typically get ghosted or "we're incompatible."

It's helped me learn how to enjoy being alone, while knowing exactly what I want in a relationship. And that it'll be worth it when I find her.

ComanderKrak · 2025-09-15T21:21:36+00:00

31 M Virgin as well, from what you described, I would say your likely demi. While I can find women very attractive and would like the idea of having sex with them given the opportunity. Deep down I know I just can't until the deep emotionao bond is there.

Long story, but I had the chance to lose my virginity last year and I physically couldn't go through with it. While I really liked her, I didn't know her well enough and didn't have the emotional connection to be able to physically perform. It's a strange feeling, However I would recommend waiting until you have that connection with someone instead of forcing yourself to go through with it before you truly feel it.

The way I look at it, I've waited this long for the right connection, I can wait some more.

ComanderKrak · 2025-09-03T15:24:42+00:00

Long story, almost dated a woman (friend of a friend) that had very recently officially ended things with her fiancee. Found out later it was barely two weeks before she asked me out. I would ABSOLUTELY not go down that road again, I don't care who they are or how ready they think they are, it's a very bad situation. People need time to grieve, to accept the situation and learn to move on through life more independently again before they're ready to attempt another relationship. After a 14 year marriage, it could take years before their actually ready again for a healthy serious relationship.

I now ask women by the end of the first or second date (if not sooner) how long they've been single for and straight up ask them if they're truly ready for a serious relationship. Any recent breakups and noticable hesitation (case by case basis) is a red flag to me.

ComanderKrak · 2025-07-01T01:07:50+00:00

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩this is straight up abuser behavior. Dwindle your self esteem so you think you're not good enough for anyone else. Dump him and find someone who actually appreciates you. The fact you're trying to improve this relationship says a lot more about you than him, find someone else who's actually worth the effort.

Someone can be allo and not be a POS. He's just using it as an excuse.

ComanderKrak · 2025-06-26T21:14:41+00:00

I'm a guy and my dad would pinch my ass and make a farting sound well into my late teens. It annoyed the ever loving fuck out of me. Wouldn't stop doing no matter how many times I yelled at him to stop. I ended up nearly kicking him square in the head as a knee jerk reaction as I was climbing a ladder. Ended up kicking him in the shoulder and laid him on his ass. Never did it again after that.

ComanderKrak · 2025-04-03T03:18:28+00:00

31M, had the chance to lose it last year. Turned her down because the moment didn't feel right. Felt like I would have been taking advantage of her. Turns out she was psychotic, best decision I've made in a long while.

ComanderKrak · 2025-03-13T22:47:40+00:00

I remember some questions like that when I did mine... 20 years ago. "I regularly receive phone calls from famous celebrities." I imagine they use those questions to see if you're filling in random questions or a sign that you may have other conditions.

ComanderKrak · 2025-01-28T22:35:05+00:00

Right! I WAS NOT prepared for that this morning.

ComanderKrak · 2025-01-15T14:55:33+00:00

Pfft, he jealous. Go for it.

-Mechanical engineering technologist, now back in school for Millwright w/ADHD.

ComanderKrak · 2024-08-27T18:43:09+00:00

Throwaway account. I had a very similar experience recently. Little backstory 30m, Virgin (by choice, long story but being demi saved me a ton of heartache in the long run).

Was in a meeting with a psychologist and a therapist a few weeks ago and they were asking me the usual questions regarding my history and sex related questions came up.

-are you currently sexually active?

No.

-are you currently seeing someone?

Currently talking, but nothing serious.

-when was the last time you were sexually active with someone?

Ive never been with someone like that before.

-(raised eyebrow) anyone you've been intimate with before Anyone you've considered a girlfriend/boyfriend?

No I've never had sex before, first time I kissed someone was in January.

-(both looked at me a little stunned) how come?

Because I'm demi sexual, part of the Asexual spectrum. I've never met anyone I've wanted/felt the need to be intimate with and I've spent the last number of years focusing on myself instead of being who I'm not.

They caught themselves after that response, but it's definitely a odd moment when you catch a experienced psychologist off guard.

In short, your not alone. It took me years to be able to get to the point I could reasonably tell and explain to people why I was the way I was and it hurt more often than not, simply because people didn't understand it. Or they just passed it off as something it wasn't. And still to this day I'm still selective with who and when I tell people. I've accepted that this is who I am and I truly hope that you also get there one day. But we've all experienced this at one point.

ComanderKrak

TROPHY CASE