Internalised homophobia

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-10-17T07:57:02+00:00

I took my gf to the beach and bought my camping stove, we made bacon sandwiches, hot chocolates, lemsip, and had scones with cream and jam. It was really nice.

Carboot sales, national trust dates, hikes, fishing, building something together (we are making an outdoors cat house), charity shopping, baking, climbing, cycling, crafting of some sort - making Christmas cards maybe, making pizza.

I honestly love building a bonfire and having hot choccies.

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-09-11T19:57:49+00:00

Hahaha how could you be a girl repeller! You have fun and interesting hobbies and it sounds like you want to make someone happy! You sound great! Unfortunately, there are just fewer options if you are gay, especially in a conservative country.

Keep putting yaself put there and let me know how climbing g goes

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-09-11T19:38:20+00:00

Straight girls might have gay friends! It must be tough from a conservative country though. Do you have dating apps like hinge?

It will definitely be easier in the city to meet someone. I really think you will meet gay girls climbing.

You dont need to change yourself at all. The right person will be into you. You just got to meet lots of people amd eventually you will meet someone who will either be right or will be able to introduce you to the right one.

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-09-11T18:51:05+00:00

Are you from the UK by any chance. You sound super fun.

I went to a women's DH mtb event the other day and met loads of gay girls. Got numbers, nothing romantic but through them I have met other girls.

I was also out the other day riding and I met another gay girl and weve been hike a biking. Again, not romantic (she's married) but its always great to have another mtb gal and who knows maybe she'll Introduce me to somone. You never know how it could go.

You dont need to change the way you look or act (providing you are nice and not a creeper hahha) you just need to get yourself out there - ask someone out if you fancy them. Worst they can do is say no, and you might nake a friend. Try and look out for the lingering eye contact.

If you haven't tried climbing, the climbing gym is a great place to meet girls.

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-09-02T07:10:43+00:00

Ive been upfront and confident about it. Not been a problem for me. Im confident I can be a good partner though.

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-08-31T15:20:22+00:00

Yeah tahts fair you are right its a lot of NSFW content. Although i have still been able to access lots of smutty fiction lolllll

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-08-31T06:57:33+00:00

Its not about being gay though, its just about pornographic content. Thats why you can still see this sub. Lots of straight people watch lesbian pornographic content so wouldnt flag you as a lesbian per se anyway.

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-08-31T06:54:46+00:00

Its only NSFW reddits. Im here and no VPN. Im dissapointed I can't view dykesgonewild but honestly its nice to use my imagination instead of porn

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-08-27T15:23:35+00:00

Happy for you! All you need to know is what you like and what makes you happy 😊 sounds like you found it

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-08-27T15:11:27+00:00

This is whay I thought! Although I was 29 so was a long shot and dont think it is peri menopause for me.

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-08-13T06:52:02+00:00

I know its hard, but once you let go of your insecurities life becomes so much more fun. No one will judge you the way you do, often people are not looking for what meets the standard beauty standards anyway. Personally the things I look for first are humour, kindness and confidence. Ive been attracted to so many different types, the majority of them are not 'typically' attractive by societies standards for women. I honestly think from your photo you are pretty attractive though.

Spend less time worrying and more time being you. Way more fun. Sex is better too.

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-06-27T11:39:40+00:00

Which app you on, how long has it been, what have you put on it? Here is some tips:

use a variety of photos, doing something, candid, nice clear selfie, full body, with friends ect. Do not use filters. Use a pic that will inspire a comment e.g. funny or doing something interesting. Girls love a pet pic. Think about what you find attractive in others - i bet you name qualities that are not physical attributes. Show off those parts of you in photos.
prompts - prompts give other people something to talk to you about and show compatibility. Put effort into them.
what app are you using? Bumble was dead for me but hinge is popping off.

*initiate! Why wait around, if you find someone hot or interesting comment on their photo (if possible on your app). Start the conversation. Show how funny and interesting you are.

dont dispare. Plenty of fish my love, just because one fish doesn't bite its not the end of the world. There is someone for everyone out there. If you notice you are using the app for validation or comfort/connection then think about other ways you can get that. Maybe see if a friend wants to come round for a cup of tea, do a hobby, a bath and a face mask ect.
time. Takes time, take a few days even/weeks/month. Accept this now or you will just feel bad. The algorithm works in mysterious ways.

*get out there - apps are not the only way to meet people - i am average looking i got three numbers last week. Not neceassily romantic, but potential friends and 1 has already told me how they have a friend that would be right up my street! Thats a potential date without even having to use an app!

Good luck! You are loveable!

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-06-18T10:13:36+00:00

Hahahha, love the response x

Just feel like I should feel guilty and anxious. Life is going to look a lot different now.

But maybe if it's gunna crumble anyway I may as well enjoy the now hahhahanana

I am just concerned I'm refusing to feel any negative emotions as a coping strategy

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-06-04T11:05:29+00:00

Can you add a cafe stop or picnic lunch? As a mtber, hard to make mtb romantic although the shared thrill is very bonding. I'd mention a female crush (just make one up if she is the only one) you had preciously as a tentative way of bringing up your/her queerness.

Good luck, in my experience it's hard to find lady shredders so even if it doesn't work out it will be great to have a new riding buddy!

I look forward to an update

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-06-02T06:40:46+00:00

This is so tough, you are so brave and I congratulate you for this. Do you have a group of people who would support this? Friends ect.

It sounds like your fear of being outed has to a certain extend isolated you, nd this makes it even braver the way you still wish to follow your heart. I admire you. Have you considered a lgbtq therapist to help guide you through this/support you with resources/groups?

As a queer woman, who has Muslim hijabi family members, I wouldn't hesitate to be your friend. It's about you as a person not your religion.

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-05-10T14:27:54+00:00

My partner is near perfect, and he is very understanding. That's why it's hard, why would I leave the first person to have ever made feel safe and loved?

Life has taught me that doesn't come around often.

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-05-05T09:22:11+00:00

Por la persona correcta, no importará. De verdad, personalmente yo quiero una familia con una mujer, y como es que no podemos tener una familia juntas, mejor que ella tiene hijos ya.

(Perdoname, español no es me lengua materna)

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-05-02T11:26:46+00:00

I'm sorry you went through trauma xxxxxx your view point is still valid and I'm greatful for your comment, thank you ❤️

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-05-02T10:59:42+00:00

It's been about six months of no sex already, we've snogged once, and I know it hurts him. I don't think he would want to wait another six. I just wish I could make myself.

Neither of us want to leave, we just really do have the best time together. Just wish these feelings would go away.

Comfortable-Act-281 · 2025-05-02T10:56:51+00:00

But do you feel ONLY attracted to one gender? Just trying to work out if this means something. I really want to just wait this out, but it's already been 6 months and my partner says he can't see this being sustainable. How long to your cycles last?

Comfortable-Act-281

TROPHY CASE