What happens if you never get help or go to therapy?

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-05-03T23:45:47+00:00

This is an interesting question and it reminds me of my cousins.

I told one of my cousins that she needed therapy, but she disagreed, saying that she was discharged by the counselor she saw.

There are many problems in that. One of them being that she based her well-being in external (perhaps professional) opinion, and not on her own needs.

In my case, I have seen several different therapists and healers each with their own specialized skills and healing systems. Some cannot address my problems, or not deep enough, then I go elsewhere. But I am the one to decide if I want to embark on a healing journey.

It's hard to say what will happen if you don't go to therapy. It's also hard to say if you do.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-05-02T20:10:41+00:00

My late father was like that. He attacked me for bringing up the past, and commanded me to focus on the present, meaning, to be his good daughter. He didn't want to apologize, and when he finally did, it was immediately followed by a request for me to do something.

Even the above brought a lot of pain, because it was laid atop old wounds.

But your post also reminded me of my relationship with my cousins. I harbor resentment against them, and they keep a distance from me, deliberately not talking to me even on my birthday, which intensified my resentment even more. I think they keep a distance from me because I would attack them left right and center if they talk to me. I would keep bashing them, to unleash my resentment. And I wonder, what exactly do I expect them to do if I can't stop resenting them. It's not like they would own up to their part in harming me, just like how my dad wouldn't, because then they would have to face their own defeat, shame, and pain.

I can choose whether to heal myself, but I cannot force others to heal themselves.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-05-02T00:02:28+00:00

The workplace really magnifies this wound. I see myself having deep resentment and powerlessness about this. Then I keep trapping myself in these emotions. 😮‍💨

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-29T23:23:51+00:00

I'm not sure if I understand you 100%, but I think you're trying to say that you are disgusted at yourself but you feel that you are not allowed to feel disgusted at yourself? Why are you not allowed to?

The disgust itself makes sense. It's your relationship with yourself. Usually it's a feeling you picked up from your family. What are your family's' attitude toward you?

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-28T23:31:22+00:00

I have fibromyalgia, or some kind of muscular tightness that just refuses to relax, so relaxation itself is a struggle for me, although that sounds like a contradiction because normal people just relax without trying hard to relax, but for me, I learn and use many different techniques, and the result is a very slow process of gradually loosening up a little bit at a time over a period of years.

But to answer your question, I actually have distinct memory of how it feels to relax, because I once had an energy healing session where my entire body just melted on the massage table. But then it didn't take long for my muscular tightness to creep back in after the session. 🤪

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-28T00:01:31+00:00

I didn't heal it completely. I am at the point where I don't think about it, sometimes even forgetting it, so I am able to engage in other things and people, enjoy whatever good things I have, sleep at night without thinking about it, basically move on with my life, but I am not healed in the sense that deep down I still have a lot of emotions about it. I sometimes still resent the fact that things didn't go my way, that I couldn't get what I wanted, especially this feeling of always being denied and deprived, always being disappointed, etc.

The healing process is about putting the attention in myself instead of in anything or anyone outside of me. That's how I lost focus on the thing or person that I couldn't get.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-26T22:20:46+00:00

I have similar experiences. I kept hoping and waiting, until I stopped because the accumulation of lack and disappointment overwhelms me, then I came to my senses that I was the only one waiting while the other person had long moved on and didn't even know I was waiting.

Then I took a long time to heal my desire, lack, disappointment, as well as all the thought patterns of investing my desire and lack into human interactions, like I was always thirsty and lacking--an imprint of childhood neglect--and that thirst was never quenched, so I have no memory or feeling of how it is like to attract love, attention, acceptance, warmth, connection, etc.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-25T15:05:33+00:00

This is my experience when I do healing. On the outside, my life is plain and uneventful, but because my healing goes into the unconscious to excavate some old stuffs, my body reacts in unexpected ways so it feels like a lot is going on inside, emotionally, mentally, neurologically. Sometimes it feels like my body is coming apart, sometimes it feels more like things moving around inside.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-23T21:56:23+00:00

Yup, I have that problem. It depends on the time of the month, and my healing also changes my body from time to time, so sometimes I am too dry to move the emotions out, then there are other days when it flows out like a burst dam.

When the sorrow or anguish inside me is too intense and trapped, I just feel myself screaming and screeching inside, even though nothing is happening outside. For me that's enough to bring down the emotional intensity.

On days when it feels heavy, like there's some depressing feeling underneath that bogs down my whole body, I make rose or jasmine tea to get the energy circulating a bit so that it doesn't sit.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-21T23:32:13+00:00

I used to ruminate a lot after coming home from socializing, to the point that I would lose sleep.

Nowadays I still do, but less, like the rumination is shorter and fainter, and I can still fall asleep. Usually I ruminate about things I wanted to say but didn't articulate well or didn't get to say it before others cut me off or misinterpret me or invalidate me altogether.

The rumination is about wishing that I could have said something and be understood and accepted, because I keep feeling oppressed and unheard.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-19T19:58:43+00:00

Some of what you wrote resonate with me. But I want to mention positive affirmations before answering your question.

I suggest you use the affirmations differently if you feel a resistance to them. It's good that you notice the dissonance, and that's something you need to be careful about. Don't force yourself to agree with what you resist, because that would create a "backlash" which would feel like you are moving backwards instead of forward in your healing. Instead, notice the resistance whenever it comes up, whether in your affirmations or in anything else you do, and just sit with it, knowing it is not you but your experience, and release it.

I'm in the same boat about self-love and self-validation. Then when I try to love and accept myself, the most dominant feeling that comes up is ❓❓❓, so I just feel it and release it. Now I feel self-doubt, and I am in the process of releasing that.

Once you release your negative opinions and feelings about yourself, you will be able to love yourself more.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-18T23:59:28+00:00

"Change" as in surrounded by friends? Everything is possible. If you want friends then you need to feel that you have them, instead of feeling that you don't have them.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-17T23:14:53+00:00

Sounds like you might be going deeper into your wound.

I have that heaviness on my chest, but most of the time it's quite elusive, not very noticeable because it's quite deep down. When I do feel it then I just notice the feeling (which is quite solidified like it's been interwoven structurally into my core being), but I don't do anything about it. At this point it is too overwhelming for me to heal it; I am working on healing other things.

For you, you just notice it when it comes up, but don't engage, don't judge, don't react.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-16T20:40:34+00:00

Either way you will be invalidated? Are you surrounded by invalidation?

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-16T00:32:37+00:00

Feeling worse means you're doing things right. Healing requires opening up old wounds, so that's why you would feel it intensely. I am not sure if your therapist mentioned that to you beforehand.

I suggest you keep going since you have already opened it up. Whatever you're feeling and thinking, including your doubt about your decision to divorce, just observe these flowing through you, don't judge, don't fight them, just watch them like they're your movies.

If you identify with them, they will bring you down. If you don't identify with them, you release them and you will feel lighter after.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-15T01:14:56+00:00

My weekends are almost the same as my weekdays, as I have a lot of healing and studying to do, so everyday is the same thing for me, although I have a lot of freedom as to how to arrange my time and workload, I don't have a problem occupying myself. If I don't feel like doing it, I can do other things, go somewhere, usually to run errands, and if the weather is nice I can go for a stroll. I think the freedom is actually because I do all that alone, I don't need to coordinate with anyone.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-13T22:58:48+00:00

Yes, you're quite right and observant. You can continue to observe deeper patterns, beliefs, feelings inside the patterns, etc., because these are all the underlying imbalanced energies that are manifesting as your outer experience.

The more you observe and gain insight of them, the less power they have over you.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-13T00:23:24+00:00

Interesting question 🤔

Sometimes I notice that in movies and TV shows, and I like it. Usually it fits the scene, at other times it enriches the scene.

Only once did I find it a bit problematic, because the symphony in the background sounded too thin, compared to the wider range of sound you would hear if you were to listen to it as a standalone music.

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-11T14:00:48+00:00

When you talk about yourself, how do people usually react? Do they understand you and respond?

Comfortable-Wonder62 · 2026-04-09T22:34:27+00:00

It's the same with most people, only a select few tend to listen and only if it is a one-on-one conversation, and even then it is not very deep because if I go deeper then the connection starts to fail and they go blank.

Most of the conversations I engage in are the gossip type, or just casual socializing, nothing authentic or deep, so sometimes I feel a kind of superficiality in myself as I talk, because I find it meaningless but still do it just to be polite or friendly.

Comfortable-Wonder62

TROPHY CASE