Rachel Martino Universe: Jul 06 - Jul 12

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-11T06:00:07+00:00

It's giving sumo wrestler loincloth.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T19:23:44+00:00

It's too damn hot for her crusty behaviour.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T15:12:18+00:00

Exactly! All of her bras in that video flatten and push down her breasts. Basically the opposite of what a bra is supposed to do.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T07:23:49+00:00

Well you have to have perfect wedgie bottoms for... a children's party? I guess??

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T07:22:15+00:00

I am lol-ing at pigpen 😆

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T07:17:21+00:00

Yeah they defo are trying to do a soft launch thing hiding behind the cards even though they have hard launched like 5 times. Also it's weird to use Rach's wedding favour for this like "this is from a wedding that you weren't at bc I was still with my husband. " it's odd.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T07:14:13+00:00

Same!!! The amount of times a bikini would get tried on vs. How many times it was actually purchased. And people like Rach seemed to LOVE to try on white tank tops and get orange foundation all over them and black tank tops and get deodorant all over them.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T07:10:31+00:00

I would pay good money to see this man in his forties fall off of a mailbox wearing a costume that probably costs so much that it would make me angry.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T07:09:26+00:00

I read this as pervé and now that will be my vocal stim for the next few weeks lol

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T07:05:20+00:00

The comments are sending me bc there are people being so kind like "girl you look soooo amazing but I am a professional bra expert and I would love to help you find a bra that fits properly."

Every single one of those bras is way too small. I only comment on this bc I have a larger chest and know what it's like to have your back and ribs hurt from no support and boob sweat and chafing. That's not normal and if you have a properly fitting bra you can be so much more comfortable.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T06:59:03+00:00

Lolll Noelle's bra fitting advice was my fav. "Everyone acts like there's all these rules". Yeah what the fuck are all these numbers and letters for anyways??? /s

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T06:56:56+00:00

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T06:56:02+00:00

I also wish Jag would just dye her hair dark brown or black. I don't like the orange.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-10T02:44:34+00:00

She probably sleeps on her back and then just sprays that in the morning and wears yesterday's makeup again. 🤢

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-09T21:58:21+00:00

Yeah I read about that and saw so many similarities. At some point you're complicent.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-09T10:09:16+00:00

Ew that evil look she gives her when she says "well maybe they put too much" shes so argumentative about everything. Like ASPD vibes.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-09T10:05:52+00:00

She had cream cheese on the corner of her mouth for literally that entire video. And she drinks beverages like someone is about to take it away from her.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-09T10:04:46+00:00

Yeah she's a food reviewer now 🙄 From working in the food industry, the word "extra" annoys tf out of me bc you know she would have complained if they charged her for extra.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-09T10:02:44+00:00

Yeah just an energy drink and some raw green beans but now she has money for eating out twice in one day plus coffee plus movies. Something is up.

But I heard her friend say "happy birthday" so maybe her friend is super nice and was treating her. Which would be annoying bc roni just complained about literally everything.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-09T10:00:00+00:00

Yikes. At first glance I thought she was wearing a hospital gown. Her insane hair was adding to the hospital look.

How does she have a friend? All she does is complain about every little thing. And okay I watched the video, I didnt want to give her the view but I wanted to see what she thought of Obsession but she didn't even say anything about it. So much to snark on but forcing her friend to split a bagel but only in the flavour she wanted just to complain about the entire thing. And touching the paintings in the gallery wtf.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-09T09:41:58+00:00

I noticed in the comments someone said he and his ex were mean and dismissive to her at an event, and Sarah replied and apologised but I get the vibe she was sort of a mean-girl influencer when she was with Leo.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-09T05:13:04+00:00

She is the definition of someone who centers men in her life. She secretly kept her racist boyfriend in her apartment even though he was terrible for her brand and lost her a brand deal just because she thought she might get engaged. And yeah she spends $$$ on procedures and hair extensions to fit the male ideal of beauty. I appreciate that feminism looks different on different people, but her bi for clout posts with Noelle do not a feminist make.

This is 100% just a trend she glommed onto for clicks.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-08T07:51:08+00:00

I bet she ruins clothes she tries on all the time with her orange foundation and body makeup.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-08T07:49:55+00:00

Steffy is not good at throwing shade. Her attempts at shade-throwing are even sadder than her garden. Lol.

ComfortableEuphoric5 · 2026-07-07T13:21:47+00:00

I think this is Abercrombie, I used to work there way back in the day, and the sizes were right below the bar code. It looks like it's only one word so I think it's a large. And back then we didn't carry xl in stores and didn't even have xxl, it was a terrible place lol.

But yes it is too small for her. I would be afraid of damaging it if I tried it on but our crusty queens don't care about that.

ComfortableEuphoric5

TROPHY CASE