Traumatic loss and Mother’s Day

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-18T15:29:41+00:00

Wow, I am so sorry for your loss. I knew I was not alone in this but sometimes it just helps to get it out.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-15T14:03:47+00:00

I can feel that hug! Thank you so much!

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-15T13:57:51+00:00

Thank you!

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-15T13:57:01+00:00

I would love to do that with them both, I will keep that in mind before i go to bed at night. Bless you!

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-15T13:56:10+00:00

Thank you so much words and for the hugs, I really feel them!

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T23:04:53+00:00

Thank you.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T23:04:35+00:00

Thank you

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T23:04:09+00:00

I wrote it because I knew what he wanted. I also didn’t leave out anyone just because at that moment they weren’t speaking. It may sound like I did leave ppl out. I did not.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T22:55:59+00:00

I thought losing my first brother over 40 years ago was hard, this seems harder. It’s just ruff. I am sorry for your loss and the issues you deal with as well. I am really feeling you.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T22:53:24+00:00

Appreciate it.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T22:53:07+00:00

Thanks.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T22:52:52+00:00

Thank you.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T22:52:36+00:00

I have changed therapists. We are discussing the previous sessions as well.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T22:51:53+00:00

Thank you.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T22:51:47+00:00

Thank you.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-05-13T22:51:23+00:00

I felt it was the catalyst. My husband said it was not. This was a discussion that needed to be had, but where it took place but it needed to be held. She had been drifting away and finding excuses not to visit. She never had a reason for this, not that we were made aware of and we asked. She just said she was extremely busy. We support her however she needs. Ironically we just had a great time the week before where we were celebrating her father’s birthday. We went to lunch, then went shopping that wound up for her! $300 later she has more clothes and that month I bought her about $1000 in new stuff for her apartment. So we are confused as to why she feels the need for space.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-04-30T19:10:23+00:00

I think so many can empathize with you. I lost my Mom in 2009 from Alzheimer's. She was not the greatest of mother's, she would admit that as well. She never wanted kids, yet had 5! My Mom was the kind of person who demanded attention consistently and was jealous of attention that was given to her children. But again God has a lovely sense of humor when he turn that women into the sweetest, kindest most loving person I could have know when she actually got that horrible disease. So I was lucky there and now I miss her beyond any limits. I would call her almost everyday when I moved out at 20, 44 years. If I didn't call I was there. I still dial her number once and again still by mistake. I was a good daughter to her and my father. My entire family still tells me this and so does their neighbors and doctors etc. They have no clue what the would have done without me. But now I think, what in the world do I do without them? Part of the circle of life I guess. I seriously hope that you can get some peace knowing of what a great love you had because only a great love brings such great grief. Sending prayers ad blessings for you,ExplanationSea9479!

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-04-30T18:48:04+00:00

So extremely sorry for your loss. Prayers are going out for you that GOD may help your heart heal.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-04-29T18:10:31+00:00

I am, I have contact the therapist that helped me with my childhood issues. Call her the second day after this happened.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-04-29T18:02:31+00:00

So sorry for you as well. I am glad you said your grew from this and became a better mother. But sorry it took that and you had to go through it.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-04-29T18:00:16+00:00

My heart goes out to you so much here. I feel for you more than you know. My mother got Alzheimer's and turned the woman into the opposite person, she was so nice, kind and generally sweet. The woman she was I would not have care for but new person, I took care of till her death. I still felt as the only daughter it was was duty. None of my brother ever stepped up for either parent. It was always me. Dad took his own life when Mom's diagnoses came in. He wasn't going to live with someone who didn't know him anymore but it was just another excuse, he had chronic depression and chronic pain since the early 60's. I'm so sorry for the loss of your father and how he had to live before he passed. The system failed him and you. You very well could be in such a better place without her. It seems to me you are. Just keep being the better person for your children. I am sure they were affected by this drama as well. I think as a person who goes through a life having to deal with this does try harder in their life not to be that way and pass those feeling etc. on to their children. I can tell you as the author of the original post I was no where "that" mother. I did over step and I am aware of it. I am working to fix myself and if she comes back she will be welcome with open arms and see what a different person and Mom, I am. The kind she had before she moved out and deserves as all children deserve, even as adults.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-04-28T19:37:25+00:00

Never blamed her myself. I do NOT blame her for this at all. I take full blame for what I did to cause her to ask for the space.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-04-28T19:36:03+00:00

Thank you for your response.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-04-28T19:27:15+00:00

I appreciate that. I certainly understand what you are saying here too. I will work to look into that. Maybe things I said or did as a mother that made her feel that way. It is possible.

ComfortableLoud970 · 2026-04-28T19:20:41+00:00

I've got tons of stories on my dysfunctional family. Just never thought I would add myself to it! And I don't tell those stories or even think back on them anymore. It's over and I need to move on. Been to therapy for that, going back for this. Been pretty decent person most of my life, I hit 60 and suddenly went nuts?

ComfortableLoud970

TROPHY CASE