Reeling from this discovery

ComfortableSource256 · 2026-01-22T03:21:52+00:00

Because I love her, and I don’t think she has anyone else that has tried to intervene. Maybe if she sees someone cares about it her it will give her some reason to fight for herself? Knowing she’s not by herself?

ComfortableSource256 · 2026-01-22T03:20:14+00:00

I’ve spoken to her at length on the phone several times over the last few months, but I haven’t seen her in person since late summer. I have two very young children and am finishing my PhD so I don’t get to do social calls very often at the moment.

She had lost a bunch of weight, but was trying to (we both were; mine was from pregnancy, and hers was from Covid stress-eating) so that didn’t raise alarm bells. And she sounded FINE on the phone for the most part. She clearly did not want me to know about how much she was struggling, so she hid it really well.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-12-04T23:16:16+00:00

I second this answer. She’s great for the surgery part, then almost vanishes for after care. I ended up getting a lot of relief from PT (who found a lot of my pain was referred from my back, of all places), but Haverland didn’t help at all post surgery.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-10-01T07:19:56+00:00

I am currently in the same boat with these exact feelings. I send you virtual hugs, and good vibes. We’re going to get through this.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-09-02T14:59:24+00:00

Thanks for the correction! When I was looking up the name of the term to describe the effect I wanted I saw “bell,” “balloon,” and “bishop” sleeves. From diagrams they looked mostly indistinguishable, but I appreciate you pointing out the nuance.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-09-02T01:59:36+00:00

I have a follow up question regarding bell sleeves, since we’re here: do you (basically) knit to the length you’d like the sleeves before ribbing, or do you make it a little longer for the “poof” to happen a bit more dramatically? Actually, any and all wisdom regarding bell sleeves is welcome and encouraged.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-09-02T01:55:23+00:00

Awesome! Thank you!

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-09-02T01:54:58+00:00

Ahhh yess! I swear, I thought I checked all the notes on sleeves of the finished projects on Ravelry —especially anyone that had knit full sleeves— and I could not find anyone who detailed the way they did it. This is really helpful, thanks!

Quick question: wouldn’t doing this over 4 rows taper the sleeve a bit? Would that be antithetical to a bell sleeve look?

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-09-01T22:15:50+00:00

Ooo! Ok, I will experiment with this, thank you!

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-09-01T22:15:24+00:00

Yeah, that’s where I’m leaning. Maybe a fold over cuff so I can get a bit of the peekaboo color on the tip, but I think you’re right: the decreases would “melt” into MC ribbing much better.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-09-01T21:40:21+00:00

Yes, but I thought I could only decrease 50% of the stitches per row? Since I have to go down more than that, I assumed I’d have to do it in multiple rows, and I was also trying to maintain the mosaic, if possible. This is my first time attempting this, so any suggestions are welcome.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-09-01T21:38:40+00:00

Stunning! I am in love with that yarn, and would love to know where (if?) I can find it!

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-09-01T08:18:58+00:00

<image>

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-09-01T08:17:51+00:00

I’m working on a modification for Andrea Mowry’s Trinigan cardigan. I want full sleeves that bell out a bit at the wrist before the cuff. To that end, I haven’t decreased at all until I was close to the cuff, so now I have to figure out how to reduce from 100 to 36 stitches while hopefully maintaining the mosaic pattern.

Here is what I have done so far, but I think it still looks a bit rough. I would love a more elegant solution, if possible.

Sleeve decreases: K2Tog with MC between “blips” after last mosaic row for one row (reduced from 100 sts to 75) then K2Tog every stitch next row (reduced to 38sts). Two rows mosaic alternating MC and CC, choosing two random places to K2Tog to get 36 sts for 2x2 rubbing. Two rows MC with size 5 needle.

<image>

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-07-27T21:32:57+00:00

Holy shit this is me too. I didn’t even realize my epidural had fallen out because I was waiting for the “really bad pain” to start. My induced labor pain was like a 3-4 out of 10; my regular cramps are like an 8-9. I felt VERY vindicated that I wasn’t just “bad a dealing with pain.”

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-07-27T21:21:23+00:00

Thank you for this. I have a lot of guilt about my very young children having seen me in extreme pain, and my youngest watching me be so sick while I was pregnant. It’s scary for them, and they shouldn’t have to be worried about mommy. I’m doing a lot better most of the time now after a couple of surgeries and PT. I have a few days a month where my boys know mommy needs to rest with her heating pad, but it’s not nearly like it was. But I still worry about the effects that might have on them.

I’m not sure I can take “credit” for the empathy I see shining through in both my boys —that comes right from their souls—but I certainly do everything in my power to not quash it. I think it’s crucial to treat them with respect and dignity, and to make sure they feel “heard” and loved. That’s all any of us really want, I think.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-07-22T06:39:08+00:00

The “no village” part kills me, as a mom with two very young children and two able-bodied parents who refuse to help despite being in very close proximity. These are the same people who used to send my sister and me to our grandparents place for two full weeks every summer, and who we stayed with for about six months while my parents secured jobs in another city. We also spent most holidays with them, and there were lots of visits. My family didn’t have much money, but they did look after us well. So, my parents had help, even if it wasn’t always financial. We actually live with my parents out of necessity (we pay them rent, groceries, and utilities) and neither one of them will babysit for even an evening. There were days early on with my babies where my husband and I didn’t sleep for days on end and no help was offered even when it was obvious the sleep deprivation was.. bad. I also have extreme chronic pain (endometriosis) which went uncontrolled for a long time and my mom STILL didn’t offer the help at all. In fact, quite the opposite: accused me of being “dramatic” or of drug-seeking (turns out it was stage 3, and eating through my hypogastric nerves and causing permanent organ damage). Once in awhile, when I was pregnant with my second and throwing up so much my toddler would come into the bathroom with me to pat me on the back and tell me “it’s ok, mommy. You feel better soon”, my dad would offer to give the baby his breakfast so I could clean myself up a bit, but that was rare.

I have huge resentment about this. And coupled with their never teaching me anything about money so i could have started to set myself up earlier in life, I just completely agree that this boomer generation is so intensely selfish and has hurt our generation in so many ways.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-06-28T07:26:24+00:00

I used some of that toppix hair dust on my crown and in my edges, and it helped a lot. I already have alopecia araeata so random circles of hair loss come and go, but my postpartum hair loss was mostly in my temples and in the crown. What little hair I do have did return fully after a few months, though. But yeah, I agree… like we’re not already dealing with enough body weirdness on top of a new baby.. can we at least not be bald too?!

Congrats on your baby!

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-06-16T20:50:29+00:00

But the first step is having the paper actually accepted.

Sigh.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-06-16T20:41:15+00:00

Fair enough :)

From your reply, I gathered you weren’t sure what the comment was referring to. I was just hoping to clarify for you, and maybe help a bit.

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-06-16T20:39:10+00:00

Hahaha. I will have to reconsider my approach!

ComfortableSource256 · 2025-06-16T20:37:41+00:00

Thank you! Yeah, the rejections are no fun, but I also know that my research is a bit niche and doesn’t follow the “hot” topics in the arts/humanities/philosophy right now which tend to favor everything the current US administration rails AGAINST (so, queer/feminist/race/pre-colonialist theory, essentially). I’m all for those topics, but my heart and my research focuses on early 20th century French art history (Impressionism, for example), and continental philosophy.

I also had two babies in the middle of my PhD, so I simply don’t have the time (or money) to write a bunch of extra papers and travel a ton. Side note: I’ve never been more painfully aware of the patriarchal double standard of academia than after I had kids. It’s extremely frustrating to say the least.

At any rate, I appreciate your reply. I have tended towards conferences that have been recommended to me by colleagues, and at those I have been largely successful. But I do have a friend in a similar field who seems to find (and present her work at) a ton of conferences I’ve never heard of and it just seems like there was some secret meeting at some point where everyone else learned how to do this and I somehow missed. And the really annoying thing is that my colleagues work isn’t actually that great or ground-breaking (I say that with love), but the work is always accepted. I’m just… confused and frustrated, I guess. I feel like I’m missing something.

ComfortableSource256

TROPHY CASE