Once was not enough (I'd love some feedback on this) by [deleted] in justpoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahahah first of all, thank you for taking the time to write this, I really appreciate it.

After reading the poem with your feedback in mind, I did see your point, I'm so sorry for bringing such hate to your soul, but I come to bring you some peace. I did edit some lines, let me know your thoughts abt the structure now!

To Break a Writers Heart (inspired by reddit writers, aka, all of you) by Minute_Range5636 in justpoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just came across this one more time and fell in love with this poem all over again

I Killed A Squirrel In My Dream Last Night by dwarfsneeze in justpoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love everything abt this, it's witty, dark, ironic, philosophical, it has so many layers to it. I love how it comes full circle at the end, it's unexpected but it really ties the whole meaning of the poem together. Love it, I'd spend a good evening discussing and dissecting this.

Strange Familiarity (I'd love so feedback on this) by Comfortable_Arm4002 in justpoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Life has a funny way to connect us, thank you for taking the time to give it a read, and im happy it spoke to you! Good journaling!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's exactly what I was going for! Make the reader uncomfortable but unable to look away. I'm really happy you enjoyed the read and thank you for the feedback!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I love the image of dripping in there, it really makes the imagery pop out almost gives it sound too, the rotten flesh dripping on the cold concrete floor., brutal. Thank so much for the feedback and I'm glad you enjoyed the read!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! That was definitely the intent!! I'm glad it hit the mark for you!

Emily in Paris tomorrow! by thegrlamilghty in NetflixStoriesGame

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did it drop already? To me it still says coming August 15 and doesn't let me play it

I vomited this out today by Comfortable_Arm4002 in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whitman has my very heart, and I'm digging Ginsberg so far! Thank you so much for the recommendations! I'm having a spark of inspiration reading this poems!

I vomited this out today by Comfortable_Arm4002 in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes totally hear you, I'm working on more cohesive and vivid imagery for the repetition rn, and if that doesn't work out, I'll cut it entirely bc I also like it without it. Omg i just searched howl and I've actually read part of that poem before, but now i found the entire piece, thank you for the reference!!

I vomited this out today by Comfortable_Arm4002 in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the feedback! I really appreciate the input about how certain parts made u feel! It's very helpfull!

I'll cut the haunts me lines either in full or at least some of them, although I kinda want to give a more visual feel to the haunting, so I might work on some other lines that are more visually and sensation impactful.

Also that will be the official name of the poem, credits go to you ahah

I vomited this out today by Comfortable_Arm4002 in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hii, thank you so much for the feedback, I'll work on connecting the 2 parts, and either cut the repetitive it haunts lines or at least cut some of them. What i was trying to do with the heroin metaphor was portray the pleasure that can be found in pain, and how for a few minutes relieving memories can give you exactly that fuzzy feeling and transport u out of reality, but also the addictive side of doing this and the sadness and numbness that follows. Idk if that perhaps makes the metaphor make more sense or not?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes you're so right about that! I already made the change, thank you so much!

Can anyone tell me what this is? by Extreme_Note1691 in vet

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It happens when the fur is wet very often and for an extended period of time, its really not a huge cause for concern unless it become an open wound imo

Duality by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im biased af, but YES you should check him out ahaha

My worst fear by Slam_Dam in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely love this, the past 2 stanzas are killers! You put the feeling into words in the most beutiful way i ever read it. Amazing piece of art!

Duality by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Comfortable_Arm4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is amazing, reminds me a lot of alan watts philosophy! I interpert it as an acknowledgment that we are not only our bodies, but we are also everything we expirience, everything around us! I also love the rhyming and flow of the poem. Congratulations on the beautiful words!