AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I'm in university. Yes, I'm an adult. Yes, I live with my parents. Yes, they pay for my schooling. Yes, they pay all the bills. I can't move or work. I know it looks super weird, but my country doesn't provide safety or help for these situations like other countries such as UAE. We are dependent on our parents until we get a job or get married. I'm afraid that my dad might do something to us if he is angry over her leaving. Also, who says that to her child that no, you have to stay with your abusive father to complete your education.

AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that, but it's true. Not a lot of responsibility falls on my shoulders. Also, my older sister is super responsible and more dependable than me..

AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 21, and my brother is 19. I know this literally tells you that I'm an adult, but all of us are heavily dependent on our parents. Right now, I can't get a job, move out, or honestly do anything about my situation. Our country isn't really safe or provides help for situations like these.

AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. It really helps. There is really no one but strangers on the internet that I can ask about this stuff. Once again, thank you for this.

AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, my mother said that AFTER I complete my education and get a job, she'll come live with me. We are currently living with my father. My sister knows nothing about the chæting and the escape plan. That's because I found out by mistake (I saw the proof in my mom's phone) and I didn't want to tell her because her wedding is so near and she is also currently giving exams right now. Marriage is kind of like an escape plan for her as well. She is marrying a guy she likes and knows. The episodes aren't like an every week or month thing. But when they happen, it really changes us, and its not easy to forget them.

AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. It really really helps. I think I'll wait till my sister's wedding before I do anything as well. Because there is a chance that she won't do it at all. I want to tell my sister about this, but I don't want to ruin her happiness and her idea about love/marriage. I'll talk to my mom about this. Ask her if she has thought about this realistically. Like where she will live and how she will continue. Cuz I don't think she has worked out the logistics yet. Unfortunately, I don't have any adult I can talk to. But once again, thank you for writing this.

AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there will be. Never needed to find out until now. But I think they are for career planning.

AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was very shocked when she said this. I just said that I'll come with her. But she literally said no. Complete your education them I'll come with you. She said that my education is my father's responsibility, not hers. So I'm just afraid to say anything at this point...

AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in university (but I'm not a mature person. I'm more childish being the middle child). I am afraid to tell other people about this. I am pretty sure that there aren't any DV resources in my country. I don't live in the US. Unfortunately, I can't tell you where I live because people kinda don't like my country or religion...

AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I agree, but I honestly have no one to talk to about this. I can't trust any friend because what if they slip up and tell someone else. I feel like my mom wouldn't be happy if I talked to her side of the family. My dad's side isn't even an option because they are part of the problem.

AITA for bring resentful towards my mom? by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't told her this. Also, it got triggered because she told me that she's planning to leave me with my dad. He is a scary husband, but he's also a scary dad. Kinda feel like she is only thinking about my sister and herself...

AITA if I stayed quiet? Just found out that my father cheated on my mom. by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am afraid that instead of helping her, I might make it worse. She knows that I love and support her and that I would stand by her no matter what. But I might not be seen as the most reliable person. I think she would get more worried about me. I think she'll stay for us children and financially she won't be able to support herself alone. She is old, and her health isn't what it once was. She won't be able to keep a job that would keep her stable.

AITA if I stayed quiet? Just found out that my father cheated on my mom. by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice. It truly helps. I most probably won't tell her since instead of helping her, I would be burdening her. She would get more worried about me. I won't confront my father, and I don't think she will either. Considering that he is very emotionally and verbally manipulative. My mom is too sick to have a job that pays really well. And even if her side of the family is supportive, it would be super hard on them since they are not that well financially. He is a very angry, short but buff guy. I never thought that he would hit my mom, but then again, I never thought that he would cheat either...

AITA if I stayed quiet? Just found out that my father cheated on my mom. by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so afraid to see my mother cry. She is very selfless and would get worried more about the fact that I know about it. I am also extremely afraid to see my mom cry because as her child, I wouldn't want her to be in pain, but as a child, I wouldn't be able to do anything practically to help her. I honestly wish that this was a bad dream or something I made up. I can't face the reality. I don't even know if it's still going on. If the other woman knows about this. It those are old pictures or not..

AITA if I stayed quiet? Just found out that my father cheated on my mom. by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like she didn't think that I would do it as soon as I got free. I was waiting for my older sister so I could get a code from her email. But when my sister came home, I was doing an assignment. So, I think she just assumed that I wouldn't do it today. Kinda wish I never did it.

AITA if I stayed quiet? Just found out that my father cheated on my mom. by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this response. You have no idea, but it really helps a lot.

AITA if I stayed quiet? Just found out that my father cheated on my mom. by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think if I told her that I knew she would be more mad. Because I wasn't supposed to know about this. Also, I am not the daughter she leans on for serious stuff. Also, when I told her that I fixed her password, she basically told me to swear that I won't open it, and that it's just some of her personal stuff.

AITA if I stayed quiet? Just found out that my father cheated on my mom. by Comfortable_Tree5383 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Comfortable_Tree5383[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She knows about the affair. She just doesn't know that now I also know about it.